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RSS icon Comments on Maybe I Should Start Commemorating Days Without Pit-Bull Attacks

1

I have a soft spot for miniature horses, especially if they are trained to bite kneecaps.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | October 25, 2007 8:49 AM
2

Maybe you should drink a lot less coffee, and never ever watch the ten o'clock news.

Oh yeah, Put dirtballs in your pocket and take off both your shoes.

Posted by Regina Spektor's squeaky larynx | October 25, 2007 8:51 AM
3

The sequence of words in the title of that article is amazing.

Posted by Gabriel | October 25, 2007 8:54 AM
4

Jesus Christ! This is a story designed to pull on the heartstrings! A little boy with cancer. A cute little pony. And murdering, bloodthirsty dogs.

Posted by Michigan Matt | October 25, 2007 9:07 AM
5

Call me an asshole, but miniature ponys are fucking gay. Good for the pitbull! To bad for the cancer kid though...

Posted by Mike in MO | October 25, 2007 9:09 AM
6

Pit bulls can climb fences. the neighbor's pit used to climb a six foot board fence into our yard all the time. I'd yell at it to git, and it would scramble back up and over the fence.

Posted by Tree climbing dog | October 25, 2007 9:15 AM
7

Mike in MO, you are an asshole. Miniature horses are sweet, darling, creatures that can bring happiness into the hearts of everyone that has a heart. I pray mini horse ninjas don't rape your asshole and kill your wife.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | October 25, 2007 9:20 AM
8

You know when you're taking a dump at a public toilet, and after that first turd drops there's a splashback that sprays your ass cheeks and causes you to shudder with disgust? What's the name for that? I think that needs a name.

Posted by tsm | October 25, 2007 9:24 AM
9

It's called "splashback". Nuff said.
As for the dogs, I can see the quote now "But, they never bit anything beloved by Cancer Boy before." What's next? Pitt Bulls voting republican?

Posted by muckfetro | October 25, 2007 9:28 AM
10

Is it just me or do Pit Bull owners all look like white trash assholes with mullets?

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | October 25, 2007 9:30 AM
11

pit bull owners all look like poor people. I've never seen a person with a median income above 50k actually have a pit bull.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | October 25, 2007 9:38 AM
12

i'm going to have to side with the pitbull on this one. the horse and the cancer kid had it coming.

Posted by konstantConsumer | October 25, 2007 9:39 AM
13

Haven't read the article ... but yeah miniature horses are really really ... well gay ...

the whole pit bull lynching is getting old already. Makes me want to get back to work.

Posted by OR Matt | October 25, 2007 9:44 AM
14

Tomorrow's headline: "Pit bulls dig up, hump Mother Theresa's corpse."

Posted by Ziggity | October 25, 2007 9:45 AM
15

My mother has two miniatures. One is ok, the other is a BITCH! She was taking them jogging.

Something of comparable size and functionality ... a goat. They are actually decent packing animals for those that like long hikes but have bad knees. Can handle varied terrain, and can eat on the go.

The miniature horses ... are like for people who want real my little ponies ... eh ....

Posted by OR Matt | October 25, 2007 9:48 AM
16

My mother has two miniatures. One is ok, the other is a BITCH! She was taking them jogging.

Something of comparable size and functionality ... a goat. They are actually decent packing animals for those that like long hikes but have bad knees. Can handle varied terrain, and can eat on the go.

The miniature horses ... are like for people who want real my little ponies ... eh ....

Posted by OR Matt | October 25, 2007 9:48 AM
17

Thanks konstantConsumer! Fucking miniature ponies.

Posted by Mike in MO | October 25, 2007 9:49 AM
18

What's a 3-year-old doing with a miniature horse anyway? I do, however, wish every pit bull and pit bull mutt on the planet to simultaneously explode. And do you notice that every pit bull on a leash has a white trash owner on the other end of the leash or some other miscreant who should not be caring for an animal?

Posted by Catman | October 25, 2007 9:54 AM
19

Miniature Pony's are fucking gay. And what difference does it make whether the boy has cancer or not? I'm with the Pit Bulls on this one.

If he doesn't want cancer, maybe he should get rid of it and stuff.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 25, 2007 9:56 AM
20

Bellevue @ 11 - The Dog Whisperer gets a regular trim looks like he showers -

And, there's this:
http://img277.imageshack.us/img277/863/minihorsebn1.jpg

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 25, 2007 10:00 AM
21

Kill the Pitt Bulls, Kill Mike in Mo, shut Mr. Poe up and then kill him. He would never die because he never shuts up...

Posted by To the morons | October 25, 2007 10:09 AM
22

OR Matt essentially hates them because of mother issues. it all makes sense.

and mr. poe, if anderson cooper said that miniature ponies were great you'd change your tune real quick.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | October 25, 2007 10:17 AM
23

also, really, what purpose does a miniature pony have? what purpose does any domesticated pet have?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | October 25, 2007 10:18 AM
24

this almost ruined my day - but THANKS Lloyd Clydesdale @ 20 - you saved it! Thanks for the cutest pic!

So WHAT if miniature horses are for people who want want real My Little Ponies? What are those little f@$#ing rat dogs for that people like to carry around or drag on leashes be cause their legs are too short and spindly to walk? Get over yourselves haters. Long live the tiny horses!

Posted by marigold | October 25, 2007 10:29 AM
25

@22

Miniature ponies were created in the 1970's by Hugo Clamabooshka. Legend says that he made them by shrinking horses, but most people (like me) know that's not true. The truth is far more disturbing, and way less interesting.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 25, 2007 10:34 AM
26

You know you've made it when you get death calls in The Slog comments!

Also, when Mr. Poe says something is gay, you know it is really fucking gay.

Posted by Mike in MO | October 25, 2007 10:43 AM
27

Amen.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 25, 2007 10:44 AM
28

Only morons would take 22 seriously and yes Mike you and Mr Poe made it! I'm making your moron certificates of the year right now! They have little ponies stamped all over them.

Posted by To the morons | October 25, 2007 10:53 AM
29

I only see one moron here. #28.

Posted by moron | October 25, 2007 11:01 AM
30

'Pony For Cancer Boy' would be a great band name.

Posted by monkey | October 25, 2007 11:24 AM
31

this has been by far the most entertaining thread in some time.

Looking forward to my moron of the year pony certificate.

Posted by Mike in MO | October 25, 2007 11:32 AM
32

I'd like mine in a black frame, please. And good luck every shutting me up. I can still hold a conversation even with seven cocks in my mouth. Eight is where the line is drawn, but seven is sufficient, but there you go. That'll shut me up.

Then you can kill me.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 25, 2007 11:52 AM
33

@11

All owners of *killer* pitbulls look like white trash retards, not all owners in general. The normal one's don't make the news.

Wonder why that is...?

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | October 25, 2007 11:59 AM
34

what purpose does any domesticated pet have?

the same purpose as buttsecks -- an enjoyable pastime without any real impact.

Posted by animal husband | October 25, 2007 12:09 PM
35

Remember in Steinbeck's "The Red Pony" where the little boy was eaten by a scorpion. Coincidence - I think not. Or was that "The Pearl" - memory does not serve - but no pit bulls or carcinogenic children were harmed in either.

Posted by RHETT ORACLE | October 25, 2007 12:47 PM
36

Mr. Poe and Mike it really was just me being silly. I promise not to kill either one of you.
Mr Poe all your dumb comments usually make me laugh!
I LOVE PONIES AND FEEL SAD FOR KIDS WITH CANCER.... BIG MEANIES! : )

Posted by sorry | October 25, 2007 1:17 PM
37

I wonder if The Dog Whisperer would treat a miniature pony at his dog psychology center? Fucking love that show.

I once saw a flock of, eh, 60 starlings flying across the street down in pioneer square and there was one pigeon in the middle of the flock, kind of freaking out, but also flying along as part of the flock.

Apply that to the miniature pony and cesar millan's dog psychology center, and I'm in for TWO bottles of wine for that episode. One for the laughing, one for the crying.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 25, 2007 1:18 PM
38

not to ignore the seriousness of the story, but -

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DhoKDbY-L-w

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 25, 2007 1:30 PM
39

My dumb comments cure cancer.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 25, 2007 1:39 PM
40

Yes they do Mr. Poe... You are the cure to cancer : ).... That was me above!

Posted by mj | October 25, 2007 1:46 PM
41

Mother issues? That's sweet. I gave one of the ponies some credit. But they are so lame and useless. They aren't even cute. You have to constantly watch their diet because they get fat easily. You can't ride or exercies them as well.

I was always a bigger fan of horse pulls anyways. Those are cool!

Posted by OR Matt | October 25, 2007 2:17 PM
42

I can't even click on that link. A miniature horse? I'm going to take more Paxil right now!

Posted by M | October 25, 2007 2:25 PM
43

one day, someone will threaten to kill me in the comments.


a boy can dream...

Posted by konstantConsumer | October 25, 2007 4:36 PM
44

Esta Bien.. Te Quiero Matar... Ya estas feliz? : )

Posted by mj | October 25, 2007 5:52 PM
45

"one day, someone will threaten to kill me in the comments.

a boy can dream..."

if by kill you, you mean sex you up, while playing scrabble in anime drag, listening to organ grinder renditions of Judas Priest songs, consider your yourself threatened.

how about it?

Posted by are you threatening me? | October 25, 2007 5:56 PM
46

only if it's sexy anime drag.

Posted by konstantConsumer | October 26, 2007 10:00 AM

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