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Friday, October 26, 2007

Chris Crocker: Hope & Horror

posted by on October 26 at 12:07 PM

I just received an email from my coworker Nick, the subject line of which was abbreviated in my inbox display to:

CHRIS CROCKER CO….

God forgive me, but while clicking open the email, my mind automatically filled in the space after the ellipses with …MMITS SUICIDE!

The truth is much worse. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Now I have to go commit suicide.

RSS icon Comments

1

shit. I was hoping for "Chris Crocker Comatose".

A boy can dream.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | October 26, 2007 12:09 PM
2

I can't wait until his legs are hanging out of a dumpster. God I hate him.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 26, 2007 12:12 PM
3

This post is not Schmader-worthy. This post is distinctively sub-Schmader.

Posted by Boomer in NYC | October 26, 2007 12:16 PM
4

Sorry, Boomer. Some horror can only be mitigated by spreading it around.

Posted by David Schmader | October 26, 2007 12:18 PM
5

Sound like David loves Chris!! David wants to date Chris and make out with him and hold him......

((PUKE!!))

Posted by Just Me | October 26, 2007 12:18 PM
6

@4:

I think that's Chris Crocker's mantra.

Posted by Nick | October 26, 2007 12:19 PM
7

W.R.O.N.G.

Posted by brandon | October 26, 2007 12:20 PM
8

What Nick said.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 26, 2007 12:21 PM
9

Also, there's no denying the performance art aspect of it.

But why is CC's Britney recreation disgusting in ways that, say, Sarah Rudinoff's classic Madonna recreation is not?

Oh yeah: Because Britney is disgusting in ways Madonna never was.

Posted by David Schmader | October 26, 2007 12:27 PM
10

blech!!!

Posted by MN Gay Dude | October 26, 2007 12:28 PM
11

Britney has yet to come out and say that she hates Chris Crocker. I'm still waiting. That would score her some major points. And could possibly cause Mr. Crocker to kill himself. Which would ruuuuule!

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 26, 2007 12:29 PM
12

Brilliant. A+

Posted by NaFun | October 26, 2007 12:30 PM
13

So long as he doesn't jump off of the Aurora Bridge, I'm fine with that.

Britney's still a slut.

Posted by Will in Seattle | October 26, 2007 12:31 PM
14

ACTUALLY, Britney has said she doesn't like Chris Crocker!

“She thinks he's creepy and that all his videos are an obvious attempt at fame. She finds it insulting and difficult to watch."

http://www.dlisted.com/node/15845

Posted by Nick | October 26, 2007 12:31 PM
15

For a split second reading this post, I felt bad for Chris Crocker. Damn you David for making me feel anyting but loathing for this guy.

Posted by Clint | October 26, 2007 12:35 PM
16

She needs to say the words. Not a 'source'. But yes, they are difficult to watch, and they are an obvious attempt at fame.

I still can't get over how pathetic it was for Chris Crocker to go on Maury. Maury, for God's sake. Trash.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 26, 2007 12:35 PM
17

It could be worse...they could HAVE shown us the money shot.

Posted by yucca flower | October 26, 2007 12:42 PM
18

AAAAhahahahahaha!

I don't know why he amuses me. I know he's a lunatic and an attention whore. But it's funny. I think all you haters protest too much.

Posted by SDA in SEA | October 26, 2007 12:43 PM
19

17 - you obviously didn't click the thumbnail. you are smart.

i repeat - W.R.O.N.G.

Posted by brandon | October 26, 2007 12:57 PM
20

Yeah, this is an eli quality post

Posted by Bellevue Ave | October 26, 2007 12:58 PM
21

Sad sad SAD sad sad. That guy needs help. Pronto.

Posted by Michigan Matt | October 26, 2007 12:59 PM
22

uhh... that's it? some average-sized flaccid white dick and a shaved crotch. truly anti-climactic, david. if THAT causes you to want to commit suicide...

Posted by andy niable | October 26, 2007 1:03 PM
23

@20 Agreed

I assumed it was Eli when I read it. Didn't realize it wasn't until I got the comments.

Posted by PA Native | October 26, 2007 1:50 PM
24

Who I feel sorry for is Eli Sanders.


What a mistake. Don't ever listen to your queeny friends again when they tell you about something cool.

Posted by aww | October 26, 2007 1:50 PM
25

LEAVE CHRIS ALONE!!!!

Posted by Britney | October 26, 2007 2:30 PM
26

Please tell me your better ideas for getting out of Johnson City with nothing but a webcam and a shitty personality. Trust me, I've been there. It's a black hole and it's not so easy as buying a bus ticket. He's a wreck, but you gotta give props to his McGuyverlike ability to get outta dodge for free.

Posted by just sayin' | October 26, 2007 3:25 PM
27

I'd rather stay than leave without ANY SELF RESPECT WHATSOEVER.

He's not buying a bus ticket, he's buying time in a mental health facility.


Here's an idea of how to get out of any small town in America:

EDUCATE YOUR FUCKING SELF. Move to college. Preferably, a liberal town like Seattle.


Solved.

Posted by Lake | October 26, 2007 3:36 PM
28

#27 was for #26

Posted by Lake | October 26, 2007 3:37 PM
29

A sleepy V is always cuter.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 26, 2007 4:10 PM
30

I read the comments before actually clicking the link. I thought it would show that video of Chris's "LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!" meltdown. When someone posted that video in their MySpace blog, I thought that was a woman!
Thankfully, when I clicked on the above link, I had the common sense NOT to click on any of the pictures!

Posted by Anna | October 26, 2007 7:01 PM
31

Are you people insane? Those photos are everything that's good about Chris Crocker. (I'm not a fan, myself.)

He's being outrageous and gender-bending and fucked up and very pretty. He's also being highly sexualized but simultaneously childlike. What's not to love?

Dude! He should flash people every day, it might make me like him more.

Posted by Cate | October 26, 2007 7:03 PM
32

Even with the key parts blocked out, I did not need to see that.

Posted by Gomez | October 26, 2007 7:06 PM
33

@31

You and Chris Crocker are the reason 100% of America's homophobes have such a tough time dealing with the homosexual mentality.

First, and foremost, Chris Crocker needs to stop identifying himself as 'gay'. He's not 'gay'. He's a fucking 'queer', and yes, there is a difference.

He tells the whole world in his videos that he's 'gay', then he tells the whole world that he's a woman. Then he says he doesn't understand why FOX disputes if he's a guy or a girl, and he replies saying, "It's like they've never seen a "gay" person before." Followed by saying he's a woman again.

You are not "gay", Chris, stop fucking saying that you are. You're queer. And your presence right now is causing more excess homophobia than it is awareness, you fucking freakshow. I don't hate you because you're a flaming faggot, I hate you because you're an over-the-top flaming faggot who cheats his way into fame and delivers the worst in the name of homosexuals.

When the average Joe watches your pathetic dump-your-ass videos, they watch it thinking that this is what the average "gay" is like.

Once you get HIV and start flaming to the world about how you're a victim, this will all get progressively worse.

Fuck you, Chris Crocker. You are such a fucking loser, and you know it.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 26, 2007 11:20 PM
34

What has Chris Crocker done that wasn't done first by Jonathan Caouette?

Posted by Amelia | October 27, 2007 1:58 AM
35

Chris Crocker, the real-life Buffalo Bill!

"Look for severe childhood disturbances associated with violence. Our Billy wasn't born a criminal, Clarice. He was made one through years of systematic abuse. Billy hates his own identity, you see, and he thinks that makes him a transsexual. But his pathology is a thousand times more savage and more terrifying."

-Hannibal Lecter

Posted by leavebritneyspearsalonerightnow | October 29, 2007 11:29 PM

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