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1

I think they need another sign that says "Whiny customers can go jump off the West Seattle Bridge".

That way brappy will have something to read.

Posted by Will in Seattle | October 26, 2007 5:24 PM
2

Classic Seattle!!!

Everytime I see one of those fucking signs telling me to stay off my cell phone ect I IMMEDIATELY do that thing. BTW, did you know if a business displays (and it must be displayed) the Mastercard or Visa logo they CAN NOT charge a surcharge for paying using those two credit cards. (My ex works for Chase Manhattan and told me that little tid bit)

Posted by Just Me | October 26, 2007 5:25 PM
3

Problem is, coffee-drinking assholes were never taught how to behave.

Posted by Self Control | October 26, 2007 5:25 PM
4

The customer is king over on the other side of the moat. Why not stay over there?

Posted by elenchos | October 26, 2007 5:33 PM
5

There's signs like that all over coffee shops here in SF, as well. Seattle may have more than it's share of passive/aggressive behavior, but I think in this case, it's a "coffee shop owner" thing.

Posted by Dougsf | October 26, 2007 5:40 PM
6

It doesn't tell customers how they're allowed to use their computers, just that the cafe doesn't offer wi-fi on the weekends.

@2,

I don't think I've ever been charged a surcharge for using a credit card.

Posted by keshmeshi | October 26, 2007 5:42 PM
7

Minimum charges are also against MC/Visa rules. You can report them and they'll get their account pulled. Taking that passive-aggression right back atcha!

Posted by Fnarf | October 26, 2007 5:42 PM
8

Is sharing a table that bad? Seems just like nice manners to me.

If you as a mighty paying customer don't like it, take your money elsewhere. You don't get told what to do, and they don't have to tolerate gabby, territorial customers.

Posted by Gloria | October 26, 2007 5:45 PM
9

My lover and I stopped going to Victrola altogether because of their no WiFi on weekends policy.

They used to have a sign saying no WiFi on weekends, but then it disappeared, leaving the unknowing to wonder why they could get a signal, but couldn't surf.

Posted by HL | October 26, 2007 5:52 PM
10

you can't designate a minimum, or charge extra for card usage. i own a cafe - i know this.
i'd love to put up a bunch of signs in my cafe - my favorite would be, " I have to clean the freakin' bathroom, and no, you can't use it."

Posted by uncle stupid | October 26, 2007 6:07 PM
11

I thought business owners were welcome to run their business any way they please - that's the free market! If they want to offer up signs that ask their customers to be polite, then they're self-selecting what kind of paying customers they want. Guess Brappy just ain't it. I personally prefer a business that asks their customers not to be douchebaggy jackasses. But that's just my preference.

Posted by switzerblog | October 26, 2007 6:09 PM
12

If I pulled a morning barista shift, I'd for sure put a sign on the bathroom door that says "Please, No Ass-Bombs".

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | October 26, 2007 6:14 PM
13

Maybe if you weren't such a dick, they wouldn't have to put up signs...

Posted by ls | October 26, 2007 6:18 PM
14

you're not exactly told how to use your computer, nor are you told how to order. rather you are politely asked not to do a very specific, impolite thing whilst ordering. it's a widely known fact that using your cellphone in public makes you an obnoxious jerk. using it during a transaction at a shop is grounds for a good old fashioned stoning in my book.

Posted by brandon | October 26, 2007 6:29 PM
15

These signs are usually a result of problems that have arisen while doing business... customers being too distracted with phone calls to place their orders or exchange money... squatters who take up a table for 8 hours with their laptops to use the wi-fi without buying anything more than a cup of coffee, taking away space from groups of other paying patrons... people using their credit cards to buy that $1.75 cup of tea, etc.

So call it passive aggression, or call it posting of policies that the business has actively instituted as a result of previous incidences. And yes, they totally have the right to tell you how to patronize their business. Remember, they reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

Posted by Gomez | October 26, 2007 6:30 PM
16

@9 - they didn't want you anyway. You were probably like all the other folks who occupied space at Victrola for hours on end, surfing/typing away, without talking to anyone or buying anything.

Posted by tsm | October 26, 2007 6:40 PM
17

#9:
"My lover and I stopped going to Victrola altogether because of their no WiFi on weekends policy."

and I'm sure the owners and employees at Victrola are happy to be rid of your fat smug faces!

Posted by pissy mcslogbot | October 26, 2007 6:45 PM
18

Um, "please do not do X" is not passie it is assertive and direct, though polite.

Passive would be "We appreciate your not using your cell phones" or "cell phone usage makes it hard to take your order." Followed by a smiley face.

We got plenty of real passie aggressive shit in this town. Seems like the complaint is here they were _too_ direct.

Posted by unPC | October 26, 2007 6:48 PM
19

hey, great minds think alike

Posted by jseattle | October 26, 2007 7:05 PM
20

People who treat public spaces as their private family room need rules.

Posted by old timer | October 26, 2007 7:22 PM
21

Hey, why did yesterday's Flikr Photo get replaced by today's? This register looks nothing like Jacko.

Posted by Exile in West Seattle | October 26, 2007 9:04 PM
22

@ 2, do your parents know you're on the internet again? It's past your bedtime.

Posted by Matt from Denver | October 26, 2007 9:27 PM
23

Back in my restaurant-working days, I prayed and prayed to my boss to let me throw all the high-chairs in the dumpster; but the sumbitch wouldn't let me do it.

Posted by shitbrain | October 26, 2007 9:42 PM
24

Yeah, I find that shit to be pretty obnoxious, personally. I'm paying $4 for a cup of coffee! I will talk on my gawddamned phone if I want to!

I DON'T want to. I think it's rude. But still.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | October 26, 2007 11:15 PM
25

@ 23 I don't understand. I find it annoying when I place does not have a highchair and it makes the kid more rowdy and uncomfortable. Maybe that's the point to freak the kid out.

Posted by Touring | October 27, 2007 12:05 AM
26

yay #2 and 7! i need to remember to check trabant next time i go for Visa/MC logos--they f'in charge a surcharge under $5! this sucks since i prefer not to carry cash. and their service has kinda sucked as of late. and not a big variety of pastries.

other than that, yeah, i totally agree with the other signs say. it's their business, they're well w/in their rights.

Posted by from east of miss | October 27, 2007 12:26 AM
27

Victrola is top o' the horribly passive agressive seattle shit pile. I can't stand the big ol' glacial treatment they have going on there. Especially before inbibing coffee. As far as the Wi-fi thing goes.. I do miss the days when talking with other patrons did not encourage stink eye from the laptop mafia.. it ain't no library. geeze.

Posted by orangekrush | October 27, 2007 9:09 AM
28

It's incongruous for coffeeshops to use Italian names for their drinks, when the expected behavior in Italian coffee shops is (1) Pay (2) Order (3) Drink (4) Get the hell out.

Only Viennese coffeeshops tolerate some deadbeat spending the day reading the paper for the price of an Einspanner.

Posted by Mit Schlagobers | October 27, 2007 10:45 AM
29

Pissy @17:

My lover's face may be smug, but it ain't fat.

For the record.

Posted by HL | October 27, 2007 11:13 AM
30

clockwise, you mean.

Posted by Eric F | October 27, 2007 2:29 PM
31

Why should a coffee shop be an office? There was a time when you went for coffee and you left the office. It was called a "coffee break". In our driven society, seems no one actually can or will take a break. So these guidelines are posted to suggest proper public behavior that you should have learned at your mother's knee. A theatre is not your living room, a coffee shop is not your office. Accommodate.

Posted by GIMME A [COFFEE] BREAK | October 27, 2007 2:54 PM
32

For 29:

Fine. But maybe Your skinny non-fat smug lover should school you on the fact that only pretentious doofs go around dropping the phrase "my lover" into any available conversation.

gee, it's great you're boinking someone. Thanks for letting us know. Ass.

Posted by pissy mcslogbot | October 27, 2007 3:06 PM
33

Actually, it would be great for people NOT to use their cellphones while ordering.

Because, honest to deities - it does actually make it harder for us (the cashiers/Baristas/waiters) to take down orders, because we can't always tell when the customer is talking to us, or whoever it is on the phone.

So it's not passive-aggressive, it's just a polite request for someone to not use something that makes it hard.

Seriously, that's pretty much the same request movie theaters use, and do you call it passive-aggressive when the theaters ask you to not use your cell phones during a movie?

Posted by Shini | October 27, 2007 3:21 PM
34

Here are is the most telling part of Brappy's post:

"me, a paying customer"

In those words we find the sense of entitlement, the bullying, the notion that cash is the final arbiter of human affairs, in essence, all that is wrong with America. Signs like this are neccessary in a culture where people don't know how to behave in public.

Posted by Grant Cogswell | October 27, 2007 3:28 PM
35

My favorite Seattle story of "uptight laid-back-ness": I want a table at a restaurant. They ask for my name. I give them my last name. "No", says the hostess, "your first name."

Posted by David Wright | October 27, 2007 6:56 PM
36

@Matt in Denver; I thought you were still suffering from your yeast infection? Has that cleared up yet?

Posted by Just Me | October 27, 2007 8:13 PM
37

For some reason, this thread makes me love Seattle a little bit more.

Posted by croydonfacelift | October 27, 2007 11:08 PM
38

And I suppose that Brappy did not address her/his/its displeasure with these signs directly to a cafe employee, but rather took a photo and sent it to the Stranger to whine. In fact, I bet in true Seattle style, she/he/it went ahead and ordered coffee, and then sat in that very cafe and stewed over those signs for good three or four hours. Then, worked up to a passive/aggressive frenzy, s/he/it probably used that cafe's wifi to send that photo and complaint to the Stranger, and then went home to gorge on comfort food to recover from the afternoon of abuse. Fuck that whiny bitch.

On another note, I love businesses that request that people not use cell phones in line. No one should have to hear incessant chatter about your bitchy mom, your gynecological appointment, your cheating girlfriend, or your shitty boss when they just want to get a muffin and some joe.

Posted by barf | October 28, 2007 1:12 AM
39

And I suppose that Brappy did not address her/his/its displeasure with these signs directly to a cafe employee

Only fair, since the cafe doesn't seem to want to do that with their customers. Maybe Brappy should bring a sign for them next time he's there.

Posted by ddbb | October 28, 2007 2:40 AM
40

Obviously, the Victrola staff doesn't realize how many signs they have up. I appreciate having something to read while waiting for my coffee, but 4 signs is a bit much.

However, I do appreciate the sentiment in #34.

Also, see http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Posted by hee | October 28, 2007 9:13 AM
41

ddbb is right. next time he plans to spend half a day surfing for the price of a small chai, brappy should wear a t-shirt that says
"Fuck you bitch, I talk when and where I want" (by a line drawing of a cellphone)
"I ain't sharin' a table wit' nobuddy"
"Whaddya mean there's no stinkin' wifi on the weekends?"

Posted by Self Control | October 28, 2007 9:32 AM
42

My favorite sign is at Edinburgh Airport and reads "Please do not struggle with luggage."

Posted by Gabriel | October 28, 2007 4:37 PM
43

What exactly about this is passive-aggressive? How else are they supposed to convey this perfectly reasonable information-by yelling it in the face of every customer who walks in?
And people who don't see a problem with talking on the phone while ordering/being rung up, have obviously never been on the other side of the counter.

Posted by ef | October 28, 2007 10:18 PM
44

i will admit, the excess of signs is pretty hilarious. although cellphone usage at the counter has gotten so fucking irritating sometimes i want to jump over the counter at work and grab cellphones right out of bitches' hands.

also, victrola now averages as the most expensive coffeeshop in seattle, so fuck them.

Posted by rosemary | October 29, 2007 7:53 AM
45

Wow, nothing riles up you trolls like a post about a blessed coffeeshop.

Get laid, fools.

Posted by HORATIOSANZS3RIF | October 29, 2007 8:32 AM
46

Mind the gap.

Posted by Will in Seattle | October 29, 2007 10:31 AM
47

If you want to see the mother of all shops with posted behavioral directives go to the Cap Hill Twice Sold Tales. Not only are there about 60 listed above the sales counter, there are more posted throughout the store. I jumped for joy when Half Price opened.

Posted by inkweary | October 29, 2007 2:03 PM
48

The signs are passive aggressive because, if someone is on the phone at the counter, the person waiting on them should tell them to their face to get off the damn phone. I think cafe owners should support this but they're too afraid of the confrontation that would cost business. When I own my own place, I'm telling people to get off the phone. I can't wait.

Posted by sheesh | October 29, 2007 11:36 PM

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