Slog - Comments on Ex-Wives of Ex-Gays http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays Truth Wins Out--Stranger contributor Wayne Besen's organization--has posted some very compelling videos to mark National Coming Out Day. Truth Wins Out battles the ex-gay movement and Besen's video features interviews with women who married ex-gays. Says Besen... [These] survivors warn about the harm done by ex-gay programs that promote marriage as a cure for homosexuality--whether explicitly or implicity. Not only do these marriages almost always fail, but they hurt the innocent spouses and children and treat them as props or collateral damage. While ex-gay organizations, such as Exodus and Focus on the Family, love to show the wedding pictures, they... Copyright 2008 Wed, 10 Oct 2007 09:22:57 -0800 Wed, 10 Oct 2007 20:29:05 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Laurence Ballard My best and closest friend, director/playwright Sean McEnaney says it best:

There is no darkness in honesty.

Would that the Dobson's of the world would/could embrace that basic truth.

]]> Laurence Ballard http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822151 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822151 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 09:31:42 -0800 Comment by Mr. Poe In Dobson's world, there is no sunshine in homosexuality.

]]> Mr. Poe http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822161 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822161 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 09:36:45 -0800 Comment by Carollani This made me think of a book I just bought by a Mormon woman (Carol Lynn Pearson) who married a gay man, ended up divorcing but having a great relationship with him, and she wound up taking care of him while he was dying of AIDS in the 80's. The book she wrote about that experience was called "I Love You, Goodbye," but the book of hers that I just bought is called, "No More Goodbyes" and is written from the perspective of the religious (Mormon) person urging families, friends, and communities to embrace and support the gays in their lives. There's a whole lot of religious stuff in it, but I think it could be a valuable resource for religiously identified people struggling to accept the gay people in their lives. I'm going to give it to my mom so she hopefully stops being a shithead. Heh.

]]> Carollani http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822173 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822173 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 09:43:00 -0800 Comment by Katelyn There are no gays in America! Not like over there in Iran where they have to execute them right and left!

]]> Katelyn http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822187 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822187 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 09:51:26 -0800 Comment by Irena Thanks for drawing my attention to this video! Great conversation point for future gay-straight alliance meetings in my district's high schools.

]]> Irena http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822191 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822191 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 09:56:59 -0800 Comment by Will in Seattle On the converse side, if this is indeed genetically-linked, wouldn't this increase the gay percentage of the gene pool?

Just sayin ...

]]> Will in Seattle http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822204 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822204 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 10:10:47 -0800 Comment by Providence Excellent point Will! I'm going to close my eyes, think of England, screw all the fertile women I can, and produce a bumper crop of little faggot babies. Why didn't I think of that before!

Heh.

]]> Providence http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822215 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822215 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 10:21:04 -0800 Comment by torrentprime @6:
Why do you think we're still around? How many gays throughout history either were forced or pretended to be straight and thus reproduced? Therefore, the gene(s) was (were) passed.

If Dobson et al. really want to get rid of us, they'll let us come out and marry each other and stop passing so many gay genes into "straight" families.

]]> torrentprime http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822306 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822306 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 11:17:18 -0800 Comment by Bont Very thought provoking video, but I notice all the women in this video say "me and my kids." These husbands, are they abandoning their children in these cases? Is that par for the course in these failed sham marraiges? Straight or gay, that's not cool.

]]> Bont http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822440 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822440 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 13:02:12 -0800 Comment by Kat That's an awesome video, but god...those poor women. Just as gays are programmed to want to be straight, so are some women programmed to want to be Donna Reed, to the point that they revolve their entire lives around their marriages, and have nowhere to go if that doesn't work out.

]]> Kat http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822454 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822454 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 13:11:49 -0800 Comment by Natalie It's an important issue and in the news, but I thought that video was horrible. The overbearing emphasis on the women's 'devastation' made them seem so whiney, and the quick cuts made the whole thing very disjointed. I mean, emperically, how much worse is it to find out that your spouse who thought he was gay really is, compared to finding out that your spouse who thought he was straight is really gay? Maybe a bit, but really... the emphasis on devastation and family break up and how they can't trust etc really said more about how women deal with breakups with gay partners, not how women deal with breakups with reformed gay partners. That IMO is the fault of the editors.

I think the video would have been more effective with longer shots (time-wise), a more coherent narrative rather than six minutes of sound bites, and more emphasis on the women's stories rather than just their hurt feelings.

Just saying.

]]> Natalie http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822461 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822461 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 13:14:23 -0800 Comment by Will in Seattle @7 - yes, but that's what most gay men used to do. And, to be frank, a lot of women (who tend to be more on a spectrum from gay to straight) do.

Having kids is a biological drive. Wanting to have hot sex is as well. Sometimes they work together - sometimes they don't.

Me, I'm just glad my gender choice is approved by society. Makes it a lot easier.

Never said it was fair.

]]> Will in Seattle http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822517 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822517 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 14:07:54 -0800 Comment by Pauline @11: I think part of the point was that there's no such thing as a truly "reformed" gay partner, only gay men in various stages of denial who will, sooner or later, break down and be unable to sustain the lie.

]]> Pauline http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822531 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822531 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 14:16:10 -0800 Comment by Lake I don't get it. You're talking about the ex gay movement and those subsequent marriages, yet these seem to be men who were married for decades then came out.

Not ex gay, got married, then divorced.

Just married, came out, got divorced.

]]> Lake http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822573 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822573 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 15:00:59 -0800 Comment by Jiberish @6, @7, @8...genetic links don't have to be passed directly. some think that women who are more fertile pass on the 'gay gene'...so chances are we won't go away even if we don't procreate.

]]> Jiberish http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822648 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822648 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 16:24:25 -0800 Comment by One of the Marys Here's a news article on the link between homosexuality and fertility, which might be one of the reasons homosexuality still exists: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/10/13/wgay13.xml&sSheet=/news/2004/10/13/ixworld.html

]]> One of the Marys http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822655 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822655 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 16:28:05 -0800 Comment by Will in Seattle @15 - good point. It's not a one-to-one gene-protein thing anyway. Biochemical events and triggers affect it, especially stress and diet.

]]> Will in Seattle http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822676 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822676 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 16:47:06 -0800 Comment by Grant I want Wayne Bensen's babies. Mmm. Yes, I'm a guy.

]]> Grant http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822770 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/10/exwives_of_exgays#c822770 Homo Wed, 10 Oct 2007 20:29:05 -0800