Celeb Die, Britney Spears! DIE!
posted by on October 31 at 12:17 PM
Or Don’t. You know. Whatever.
Overexposure? Thy name is Britney god damn mother fucking Spears. Every move that the wretched retardate makes is viciously hounded by a gossipy tabloid herd of camera crazed stalkers that reports on her every disastrous gesture. It’s horrible. And this rabid state of affairs has sucked each and every succulent drop of sweet nectar from that big rotten fruit we call gossip. It’s just not all that fun anymore, this whole damn Britney thing. And now every time I am forced to mention the accursed word “Spears”, I feel as if I become merely one of many crazed Indians rushing the buffalo that is Britney Spears off the cliff that is her life.
And it’s mostly all my fault. I know. I kind of got this whole ball rolling. I’ve embraced it. I’ve moved on.
Nevertheless, this desperate plea (cleverly disguised as shameless advertising for one of those dubious places called a “rehab”) has appeared in just this morning’s New York Daily News:
For those of you sans microscope, the body reads:
“While the rest of the world is going in and out of rehab, Canterbury Institute has changed the rules of addiction treatment forever.”Canterbury Institute has a proprietary outpatient medical approach to drug
addiction that makes overnight “residential” 28-day treatment centers
unnecessary.
And etcetera.
This is, of course, pretty much identical to the “Don’t Die Lindsay!” ad that the same rehab ran last month, but while that one seemd like rather sound advice, “Don’t die Britney” sounds more like wishful thinking.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
"Retardate"? That's what I do on the weekends.
She won't die. She will be kept alive by every mindless young gay boy and their entourage of girls they hang out with.
I am sure they have her new CD at this very moment and are texting each other in blissful excitement.
"crazed indians"?...nice one dude
My friend who works at myspace overhead an argument between her boss and one of the people in the music department. The music department guy wanted to do a myspace feature on spears, but her boss screamed that he didn't care how many hits it would get, she's not music and she'll never be a part of myspace music.
Makes you kind of love myspace for once, doesn't it?
Are you fat and cuban too?
@5
no. perez is skinny and irish.
I want Britney to die. Now.
Um, Dan, why were Plains Indians "crazed" when running buffalo off a cliff so they could feed and house their families?
A little post-colonial humor? A bon mot shared between Columbus and Hitler in hell?
As an Indian, I'm used to the strange way Americans feel it is okay to perpetuate stereotypes about Indians even when they wouldn't do it for other groups.
But I have to admit, you made me flinch.
C'mon, Dan, you can do better than that.
Apologies to Dan. Adrian Ryan gets credit for the "crazed" Indians post.
Cool, another of the christian fals gods is losing their worshippers. Now, let's get E.T., Extra, and all those other god worshipping shows off the air. Yes, I did say christian false gods, because christians attack all the other religions and accuse who we worship as false gods but almost every christian I know pays more attention to celebs (down to what their grandmothers shoe size is) than they do to what happens right in front of their noses.
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