Well said.

Right Dan, because everyone knows that Spokane = Chicago = San Francisco = New York. Always has, always will…

I'm sorry, what's the moral of the story here? That you've been a judgmental prick since at least January of last year? You know who you'd be if you'd been born straight, Dan? Dino Rossi.

Harsha, harsha, harsha!!

Just kidding, Dan. I tend to agree with you. The closet's for losers--especially these days.

@3 - well said. Excpt he'd probably Stefan Sharkansky.

Dan Savage, NYT:

http://tinyurl.com/p8nss

"Brokeback Mountain" makes clear that it would have been better for all concerned if Jack and Ennis had lived in a world where they could simply be together.

That world didn't exist when Jack and Ennis were pitching tents together, but it does now — even in the American West.

(Brokeback Mountain depicts the relationship between two men in the American West from 1963 to 1983. -ed)

Dan Savage, Savage Love:

Or maybe, ASIF, Jack and Ennis's predicament seems faintly ridiculous to liberated gay men who regard the Tortured Homo Routine—from Giovanni's Room to Fame to Brokeback Mountain—as more laughable than tragic. Or maybe you had the misfortune of seeing Brokeback in a room full of vapid L.A. faggots who wouldn't know an honest emotion if it blew a three-day load down their throats.

Me:
I always thought it was bizarre how there wasn’t a hint of post-Stonewall possibilities in Brokeback Mountain, and wondered if this was because the author was a straight woman.

Dan is being judgmental, true, but more importantly, he is pointing out the hypocrisy of closet 'mos who cast judgement first, who want everyone else to live like them,

think about it, it's their right as individuals to live in the closet, to choose not to live mainstream gay life,

but there is no excuse for advocating bigotry and trying to push everyone else back in the closet by working with the Republicans,

the moral of the story? it's wrong to spoil someone else's fun just because you're too afraid to join in on it, sour grapes,

In 1961 I bought a book titled "The Sixth Man" - [a startling investigation of the spread of homosexuality in America] - by Jess Stearn, Doubleday.

This book peeled the scales off my eyes and answered a lot of questions. It was a virtual instruction manual. I lived in Georgetown (Wash DC) and had heard of queer bars, especially on Wisconsin Avenue. Within a week of reading it, I was "picked up" for the first time. Maybe a book can't make you pregnant, but (kidding) 'The Sixth Man' made me gay.

From the book jacket: "According to police records and the statistics compiled by many health officials and doctors - and from surveys by homosexual groups - every sixth man in American today is a homosexual." This - written in 1961!

Too bad McGreevey, West and the rest of the DL gang who couldn't shoot straight lacked the smarts to figure "it" out before causing so much collateral damage to themselves and their families. Especially when there was so much more first hand information available.

While this ultimately isn't an excuse, the one thing Dan doesn't mention about his targets are that they are usually married to women. (Althoug West was single, I believe.)

Again, it saves pain for everybody involved almost all of the time if a closeted married man just gets out of the closet, is honest with his wife, is willing to compromise, and has everyone's best at heart. (Although there are stories of vindictive wives who get back at their soon-to-be divorcees as revenge, but that's a separate issue.) In some cases, such a closeted man's wife is terminally ill, and coming out adds a complication to the family.

These are definitely exceptions, and I doubt McGreevey or West or Craig fall under this category. But there are men who are (sorry for the pun) trapped in the closet because there are reasonable excuses to do so, for the sake and sanity of nearby relatives in sensitive states. And I don't think Dan is considering these cases in his rhetoric. But I thought they were worth mention because these cases are not that uncommon either.

All matters being equal, to avoid this sorry outing/DL problem and its concomitant misery, Just Don't Get Married! There must be some statistics (and if there aren't any, will someone please make some up) that substantiate the fact that many gay men get married in spite of their gay self-awareness. It not so much a matter of having the courage to come out of the closet - it's having the courage not to selfishly fuck up other people's lives. As Sweeney Todd shouts at the opera's thunderous conclusion: "You knew!"

Thanks again, Dan, just for existing. If only all fags were as brave and heroic as you are. And handsome! Not to mention brilliant. I can't think of a single stupid thing you've ever said or done. You are perfect in every way!

@10, ah, but the problem as this relates to Craig is that single senators are rarely that. Americans, or people in the Western World generally, tend to elect only married politicians. Being at least a state-tier politician may be the only profession that requires marriage more than being a successful real estate agent. You know, for business -- oops, I mean civil reasons.

And that's an entirely different but potentially fascinating topic. How many politicians in the U.S. or in other countries don't hide as much the fact that his or her marriage is just for electability and business reasons?

@1 & 11, There are certain actors about whom one says "I'll watch any film he's in, even if he (or she) just reads from the phone book" (Dame Judy Dench is an example). Dan Savage is one of the writers about whom I say the same sort of thing. i.e. I'll read anything he writes.

Hear, all ye good people, hear what this brilliant and eloquent speaker has to say!

@12: Totally. Jerry Brown aside, most politicians are defacto required to be married, lest they be out of step with their constituents.

Plus, single people in general are suspect in society in general. (Especially women. Say what you will about 'Sex in the City', they tackled this issue squarely.) Everyone wonders why they haven't found someone yet and what is wrong with them. They don't applaud them for not marrying the wrong person, of course.

Danno my manno,

From time to time, it seems that your zeal for the cause, creates a lack certain of charity, forgiveness and dare I say, kindness, that might otherwise exist.

That said, given the cause the scope of the battle, I imagine that a broad watch must be kept on the borders and some unnecessary roughness is inevitable.

So it is in the affairs of humans....

This might be a little off the subject -- but does anybody know where I can find a bi, or at least homoflexible guy to marry? I'd like a husband who can bring friends home for dinner -- and dessert. Dueling dicks are HOT!

Dan--your worldview is becoming narrower and narrower and your opinions are less and less relevant as a result. Too bad; kinda’ liked the more relevant Dan…