Religion That Folsom Street Fair Poster
posted by September 26 at 13:38 PMon
Some folks in our comment threads think the Folsom Street Fair poster isn’t a story.
But Fox News—part of the media company responsible for this sacrilegious outrage—just invited me to come on the air and debate that raving bigot Bill Donohue tomorrow morning. Donohue is the head of the Catholic League and was last seen in public screaming about Kathy Griffin.
Donohue can detect anti-Catholic bigotry under every rock and is constantly invited on teevee to fume about it. And no one on the teevee ever calls Donohue on his own bigotry. Here’s some classic Bill Donohue: “Hollywood is controlled by secular Jews who hate Christianity in general and Catholicism in particular … Hollywood likes anal sex.” Teenage boys raped by Catholic priests? They wanted it, says Donohue.
As much as I’d love to debate Bill—I was raised Catholic, I went to seminary for high school, I thought about being a priest, I would love to have a few words with Bill Donohue—I’m going to have to pass. The interview would take place at 7:45 EST, so 4:45 our time. Uh… that’s awfully early in the morning to be screaming at a Catholic I’m not related to. Which is too bad… because I’d love to ask Bill what he thinks of all the profane last suppers we’ve managed to dig up on Slog.
But what I’d really like to tell Bill is this: A lot of folks are kinky not to annoy Catholics, but because they’re Catholics. We worship a man that was tortured to death two thousand years ago. And what do we call that grisly execution again? Oh, right: The Passion. Catholic children are herded into Churches where we kneel in front of life-sized representations—some more realistic than others—of a hot dude in a diaper nailed to a cross. Catholic teachings are full of stories about gruesomely martyred saints. I was told as a child that suffering was noble, that it brought you closer to God. Nuns told me that Jesus hung on the cross for three hours, that he suffered and died for my sins (the sins of a seven year-old!), and that I should “offer up to the Lord” whatever momentary discomfort I was experiencing.
Catholic children are also told over and over again that our Father in Heaven loves us—but that he’s also designed this place called Hell where we’ll be sent if we’re naughty and where we’ll be subjected to unspeakable physical torments for all eternity. If we’re only sorta bad our loving Father will send us to purgatory where we’ll be subjected to somewhat milder physical torments for a few dozen centuries—just long enough to cleanse us of our sins. Because pain and suffering can do that—it can make things right, it can purify you.
Oh, and what are the biggest sins? They all seem to be sexual ones. Pre-marital sex. Homosexuality. Adultery. Masturbation. God created us horny but God hates sex. Really hates it. Gee, it’s almost like God was setting us up for failure… it’s almost like God was looking for an excuse to punish us…
Confession, contrition, pain, torture, torment, sexual hang-ups—hello, Bill? BDSM perverts aren’t born, they’re made. And your church pumps them out by the hundreds of thousands.
Not everyone exposed to Catholicism during their formative years is going to be into BDSM when they grow up, of course. Not all Catholics are kinksters, just as not all kinksters are Catholic. But a significant number of Catholic children will subconsciously incorporate Catholic religious imagery and Catholic dogma into their erotic imaginations. It can’t be avoided. So if Bill Donohue is looking for someone to blame for this…
…he might want to start with the church that encouraged parents to take their children to see this: