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Thursday, September 6, 2007

Gay Love is Beautiful

posted by on September 6 at 10:06 AM

Since I’m the first to Slog about unfit, abusive, monstrous straight parents—which I do to refute the “any set of opposite-sex parents are preferable to any set of gay parents” charge (most recently made by Mitt Romney), not to argue that all straights everywhere are unfit to parent—I wanna be the first to link to this appalling story out of the UK.

Craig Faunch and Ian Wathey were one of the first homosexual couples in the country to be officially approved as foster parents.

They looked after 18 children in only 15 months.

With no previous convictions, they came across as respectable men who simply wanted to help boys with a variety of problems. In reality, they were paedophiles, who repeatedly abused the children in their care.

Even when the mother of two of the children reported her suspicions to the council, officials accepted the men’s explanations and did nothing. Instead of banning children from staying with Faunch and Wathey, they sent youngsters with more serious problems to them. Between them, the couple abused four boys aged between eight and 14.

Why didn’t social workers investigate the men after receiving complaints? Because, according to the report, “staff were afraid of being thought homophobic.” As a result, more children were placed with these fucking scumbags, and more children wound up being abused.

Gay people, as I often remind other gay people, aren’t any better than straight people. Per capita, there are just as many shitty gay people out there as shitty straight people—hell, there are probably more shitty gay people, considering how warped some gay people are after their shitty straight families and shitty anti-gay churches are through with ‘em.

If gay parents on average are any less likely to be abusive, that’s only because it’s harder for gay people to become parents—we can’t, as I’ve written, get drunk and adopt one night. Becoming a gay father is a long, drawn-out proces. You’re going to have to fill out forms, sit down for interviews, jump through hoops, and undergo background checks. And when that screening process works—and it’s an arduous process, speaking from experience—it screens out unfit gay parents.

It didn’t in this instance, and that’s tragic—no, it’s criminal. That social workers allowed this to go on because they were afraid of being “thought homophobic,” well, reading that just about made my head explode. When it comes to placing foster kids in homes—children that have already suffered abuse, neglect, abandonment—authorities have to err on the side of making sure kids aren’t going to be subject to still more abuse. If you can’t stand the idea of being thought homophobic—or heterophobic, for that matter—you have no business placing kids in foster care.

Finally, and we’ve had some examples of spectacularly awful straight foster parents in Washington state recently—read about ‘em here, and here. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

RSS icon Comments

1

You're missing an s in process.

Posted by Mr. Poe | September 6, 2007 10:20 AM
2

This morning on the Today Show, they did a segment on this woman in Ohio who "forgot" her 2-year old in her hot car for 8 hours, and yep, she died and Ohio law is protecting her and not sending her to jail for negligence...You know, since it was a mistake and all...

Posted by thecandyqueen | September 6, 2007 10:29 AM
3

Thanks for putting the freak show stuff *after* the cut, so I didn't have to read it. Much appreciated.

Posted by Big Sven | September 6, 2007 10:30 AM
4

Why the "Gay Love is Beautiful" headline?

Posted by Marla T | September 6, 2007 10:45 AM
5

Uh, Big Sven, how did you know it was after the cut if you didn't read it?

Posted by huh? | September 6, 2007 10:45 AM
6

I totally wanna do a short film about a gay guy who wakes up in bed next to a strange man and finds that he's accidentally driven to Canada and gotten gay married, and then two weeks later, as they're working everything out, the Canadian husband goes up to him all scared and shaken and holds out an adoption decree he found, just minutes before a baby is dropped off.

Posted by Gitai | September 6, 2007 10:47 AM
7

You may already know this but it bears mentioning that when you go through the Washington State foster parenting training program, the social workers make it quite clear that the odds are you will be investigated for a complaint and that is an expected part of the process; being straight or gay has nothing to do with it. Sometimes a parent or neighbor just wants to stir up trouble, or it may be legitimate.

In any case, they explain your rights and responsibilities upfront, which is the best way to go.

Posted by Original Andrew | September 6, 2007 10:54 AM
8

i b'lieve i sent dan that link last night. thanks per posting, m'sieur savage.

Posted by scary tyler moore | September 6, 2007 11:00 AM
9

oh, gay people are definitely just as awful as straight people...

we just tend to be slightly better dressed when we're committing atrocities...

Posted by michael strangeways | September 6, 2007 11:18 AM
10

Personal experience with WA state CPS: I don't know why, but it seems government agencies are practically tailor-made to always do the wrong fucking thing when deciding what to do with families. Hundreds, maybe thousands of children have died because of bad decisions made in this state alone. Therefore, I say if you know some children are being abused, be a vigilante and kick some fucking ass. Getting the grossly incompetent government involved should be a last resort.
-

Posted by christopher | September 6, 2007 12:20 PM
11

As a Brit, I feel obligated to advise you on just one thing, Dan - you don't want to cite the Daily Mail as your source.

For anything.

Ever.

Posted by rei | September 6, 2007 5:07 PM
12


From Dan Savage:


If gay parents on average are any less likely to be abusive, that’s only because it’s harder for gay people to become parents—we can’t, as I’ve written, get drunk and adopt one night.

It is not harder for gay people to become parents. Forgive me if you are excluding lesbians by intending "gay" to only desribe males. Gay women, a.k.a. Lesbians, can easily become parents, without even getting drunk. They can be raped by men (hetero or otherwise) and still become moms.

It is a small point that I believe you understand, but still, being precise and accurate with language is necessary.

Posted by aerosol | September 6, 2007 8:03 PM
13

@12,

Um, ok, however the likelihood of that happening is much lower than of hetero couples accidentally getting pregnant. I read somewhere that 50 percent of pregnancies in the U.S. are unplanned. I'm sure that only a very small fraction are due to sexual violence. Consequently the number of lesbians impregnated due to rape is statistically insignificant.

Posted by keshmeshi | September 6, 2007 9:13 PM
14

Ugh. He physically, emotionally, and sexually abused several children for years, and all he gets is 4 years? And that's "at the top of the sentencing guidelines range?"

Posted by isabelle | September 6, 2007 9:49 PM
15

Well, at least YOU can adopt. Did you know that fat people are being turned away as adopters? But you probably think it is child abuse if a kid gets fat or is anywhere near fat parents. Well, my parents taught me how to start flame wars!!! hahaha! I taught myself that actually. And I'd probably be fat even if I grew up in your house, Dan! Anyway, you should thank your lucky stars that the only thing that is "weird" about you is that you are gay. Pshaw! Gay, big damn deal! I'm sorry. I know it is a big huge flaming deal. But, you are successful, intelligent, good looking, healthy, educated, privileged, monied, published, a father, a husband, not insane, man you should be jumping for joy at how fantastic your life is! I wish I was you! heh. No, I'm happy being me. I think my point that I never made in this comment was something like this: at least gay people like you with privilege out the ying-yang can adopt and have wonderful storybook lives some others of us are denied outright...I'm just saying, sometimes it isn't just about being gay. I mean yeah, we expect you to write about being gay, but can you write about any other perspective? I'm not meaning to be anti-gay here, I'm just wondering if you could possibly see other ways in which people are oppressed besides your own...yeah...that is what I was trying to say...I guess...whatever. it doesn't matter. it was a bad comment. ignore this.

Posted by Kristin Bell | September 7, 2007 5:35 AM
16

keshmeshi @13,

True, pregnancies resulting from sexual violence are not the norm. My point is that while gay men wanting children must adopt, gay women are quite capable of becoming pregnant. They can decide to have sex with a male and become a parent. And in the extreme, it can even happen without their desiring parenthood. Dan makes no mention of this difference between gay men and women longing to become parents.

Posted by aerosol | September 7, 2007 6:53 AM
17

Three things:
a) How the hell is it that kiddy rapers only get 5 years?!?! I just read about some pot grower getting 15. The fuck????
b) Damn CPS workers are gullible.
c) How do we know the perps in the other two stories aren't gay? Flamboyant fedora-wearing waiter? Eh?

Posted by chi type | September 7, 2007 9:21 AM
18

My bad. Hey Dan, I don't know if you read these comments, but I'm sorry I was such a bitch in my earlier comment. I don't know why I was criticizing you. I sometimes forget that there are still anti-gay people in the world. It just seems so ridiculous to me that I have trouble believing that being gay is still an issue. It is like people are still debating about whether or not the earth is round or flat. I mean it seems absurd that people would be against queer people. I know that these anti-gay people exist, but I just think they are stupid and I guess I ignore them or something, because all I really see are tons of beautiful sexually diverse people in the universe. Sorry for being bitchy. I think it was early in the morning too and I'm a grouch in the morning. All my love, :) kristin

Posted by Kristin Bell | September 7, 2007 5:34 PM

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