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Be sure to explain to your son that two penises are always better than one.

Posted by Mr. Poe | September 12, 2007 7:33 PM

The kid is away at camp for two days.

Posted by Dan Savage | September 12, 2007 7:35 PM

Oh. Okay, because I was gonna go all Ecce Homo on you there.

Posted by Katelyn | September 12, 2007 7:41 PM


Aha! Now, be careful. Charles will argue about your use of 'family' here.



Posted by Mr. Poe | September 12, 2007 7:48 PM



Posted by Mr. Poe | September 12, 2007 7:51 PM

How many submissions did you get? Can't wait for the show!! Last year was so much fun!

Posted by Suz | September 12, 2007 7:54 PM

where do we call to buy tickets??? or is it on line???

Posted by brandon dismuke | September 12, 2007 8:00 PM

Dan, you're son must be proud.

Posted by CPS | September 12, 2007 8:14 PM

Please don't make fun of my girlfriend's testicle. In fact, can I have my submission back?

Posted by Ziggity | September 12, 2007 8:14 PM

Watching porn with the boyfriend in the basement? Sounds like the makings for a great HUMP submission :P

Posted by brandon H | September 12, 2007 8:22 PM

Eating hot dogs and corn on the cob while watching porn? Personally, I'd prefer mangos and oysters.

Posted by Mahtli69 | September 12, 2007 8:46 PM

Nobody ever send amateur porn to my house. :(

Posted by Giffy | September 12, 2007 8:54 PM

And why shouldn't he be, CPS?

Hell, isn't it every male child's fantasy to have a dad who's a nationally recognized sex advice columnist who gets invited on CNN?

It would be like being Hugh Hefner's adopted son - only if Hugh was gay. And without the bunnies. Or the mansion. Or running around in silk pj's all day long.

But, other than that...

Besides, if the kid turns out like most typical adolescents, he'll completely rebel against the lifestyle of his parents and become an accountant, or insurance actuarial estimator, or something equally outlandish, so, what's to worry about?

Posted by COMTE | September 12, 2007 9:06 PM

If you guys only knew how boring Dan and Terry's home life really is. DJ is innocent and sheltered. It's like Ozzie and Harriet over there. DJ is in for a shock when he's old enough to read his dad Dan's collected works.

Posted by Friend of the Family | September 12, 2007 9:23 PM


Hopefully Dan's son will know the difference between "your" and "you're" too.

Posted by Dono | September 12, 2007 9:45 PM

I wish I had a basement.

Posted by -B- | September 12, 2007 9:58 PM

"What's a hump, daddy?"

Posted by -xxx- | September 12, 2007 10:17 PM

Just tell me there will be gay porn...

(And I know it might be too much to ask, but could we get a bear or two?)

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | September 12, 2007 10:48 PM


Your. Dumbass.

Posted by Mr. Poe | September 12, 2007 11:02 PM

Too bad, Dan. Tough job, but somebody's got to do it, right? ;-)

Posted by SDA in SEA | September 12, 2007 11:21 PM

I hope the public intern submitted an entry. ^_^

Posted by Benjamin | September 13, 2007 8:37 AM

while you're eating?
Ah well...

Posted by piglet | September 13, 2007 8:59 AM

I'm trying to order my tickets and it says both IE and Firefox seem "to not be accepting cookies". OMG. Retarded programmers.

Posted by seattle98104 | September 13, 2007 9:01 AM

19: Heh. Every time someone makes that mistake I have to read it out several times without the contraction to submerge myself in the stupidity.

"Dan, you are son must be proud."

Posted by Carollani | September 13, 2007 9:14 AM

To which Dan could only respond, "Yes, I am son must be proud."

Posted by tsm | September 13, 2007 9:19 AM

I am son proud yes, Dan; your. WOOT!

Posted by Mr. Poe | September 13, 2007 9:25 AM

My son thinks I'm a geek because -- can you guess? -- I listen to musicals. So... I grew up, came out, found a cool job, landed a nice boyfriend, and thought, hey, I never have to deal with those assholes that thought I was a geek for liking musicals ever again.

So much for that plan.

Posted by Dan Savage | September 13, 2007 9:59 AM

@21 - WOOT! That should've been his interview.

Posted by intern crush | September 13, 2007 10:16 AM

I'm only going if there is Pteradactyl porn...

Is there?

Posted by HR Stuffinpuff | September 13, 2007 10:22 AM

Tickets are finally on sale at

Posted by Waited a Year... | September 13, 2007 10:30 AM

Well, Dan, at least your son can't give you a swirlie during lunch hour.

...He can't, right?

Posted by Darcy | September 13, 2007 10:57 AM

@13 Insurance isn't boring! Insurance is fun and interesting. Or, at least when I explain insurance it is, because I always use examples like Emperor Palpatine's phone call to his insurance company to make a claim for the first Death Star to explain things.

Posted by Gitai | September 13, 2007 11:42 AM

@32 That example figured into the best ever episode of Robot Chicken.

Posted by Greg | September 14, 2007 10:05 AM

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