He will. Trust me.

I think you had permission to tell him to go "Dick Cheney" himself. What a jerk.

And you now have learned the lesson of "What is a control group?"...Next lesson, *RESULTS*!!!!

I always knew Teller was the brains of the operation.

“cut my dick off and shove it down my throat.”

Don't sweat it. He's just working on a new routine and testing all the possible possessive pronoun combinations.

Well, he is a Libertarian. Coffee roaster must have looked like an untermenchen or something and he was impressing his superior will on him/her.

Well if you work at a Starbucks I can understand why he said what he said. Lots of rude baristas who can't get their orders right.

First Tyra, now this... I guess celebrities really are like the rest of us, if by "the rest of us" you actually mean "complete toolbags".

I'm so disillusioned.

I can see why he probably shouldn't have caffeine.

Maybe caffeine makes him ... uh ... edgy.

I used to date an aspiring sex worker who slept with Penn whenever he was in town. After a couple of years of this he gave her $5000 to set up her own internet porn site. I was never sure if that made him a nice guy who wanted to see her get ahead or a complete twat who wanted to see her debase herself even more.

I'm not sure this answers my question, but it does give me a hint.

@11

Nicceeeee.

Damn. I used to look up to that fat atheist badass.

More gossip: I know a hairstylist who had to repair the damage after Penn was so rough with a bottle-blond escort that all the hair on the back of her head rubbed off.

Another hero crushed by something as simple as coffee. What a prick!! "Suck it Penn!"

"Penn & Teller perform live every night (Except Friday), at 9pm at the Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas."

Came all the way to Seattle this morning just to be a dick? Where was your cell-phone camera Hot-Tipper?

Are you sure it wasn't just another d&d nerd w/ an out of date goatee and top hat getting out of the Halo 3 convention?

Maybe he meant it in a loving, nuturing kind of way. Afterall he did stand in line.

I don't see anything wrong with talking this way to baristas....there's nothing worse than getting your coffee order fucked....it's like 9/11 all over again. Fuck you hot tipper coffee roaster. Keep your bitch mouth shut and make sure you get my order right.

Wow. I mean that's like insulting to the point where you can't even feel hurt by it. The hot tipper now has a story for life! I wish someone told me something like that if I were a barista!

"I wish you were the silent one." Would've been classic.

I'm just baffled that Penn Jillette would even be in town in the first place. I have my doubts about this story, or whether the hot tipper just saw some dude who looked a lot like Penn. How would this hot tipper know for sure?

Not that I'm a Penn/Teller fan or think he wouldn't even be a dick (in fact, I hear from my fellow Vegasites that he's a dick in general but that's his M.O. and so are most celebrities)... but I doubt the validity of this tip.

i was there it was his fat dirty ass with his wife they sat three tables away from me!

this girl i worked with gave him a blowjob just because he was famous. i met him and he was not charming or funny or interesting.

Okay, now if you've ever seen Penn's act or tv show or anything like that, you'd know that part of the man's shtick is that he's an asshole, a complete and utter, but utterly entertaining asshole.

Have you listened to his podcast?

@24 - You are so right.

I know someone that was there when all of this was going down and I have it on good authority that Penn and his wife were hilarious and having a great time, as well as other staff. It was an off the cuff dirty joke and I don't think Penn's sense of humor works in Seattle.

I'd watch out for your junk... Perhaps a codpiece would be a wise purchase.

Decaf coffee has LESS caffeine, but is not caffeine free. (Or else they'd call it that instead.)

http://www.webmd.com/content/article/128/117076

THE ARISTROCRATS!!

Pretty sure he was in town auditioning for the fired Randy Quaid in Lone Star Love, which is still going to Broadway but without Quaid.

decaf coffee still has (5 or fewer mgs of) caffeine in it. you are so screwed.

maybe he'll only get 5 mgs or less of his dick chopped off then. it will be easier to swallow that way.

I ran into him at a march befitting AIDS research a couple years ago in Las Vegas. He was very nice and signed a pamphlet for my friend.

You must have missed the rest of the threat, which was that he would then produce your dick from under his hat, to the amazement of all.