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Saturday, September 29, 2007

Darren D. Misklashuvacis Responds (And Then Some)

posted by on September 29 at 17:53 PM

Yesterday, Seattle’s Darren D. Misklashuvacis entered the Psychotic Homophobe Hall of Fame by sending a gay-bashing rant par excellence to Last Days.

Today Darren responds to the hubbub in Slog comments:

Hey to you pricks above- BITE ME ASSHOLES.

My name is not in the records because I don’t want to be bothered by queers and other jagoffs.I assure you MFs I am REAL and you can all get AIDS and die!!!

Misklashuvacis is a traditional Ukrainian-Lithuanian name spelled in a Latvian style. My family is well known in that part of the world before some guy came over here never knowing it was overrun with faggots. You lay the fuck off my name and I DARE YOU to say anything about Latvians! You jackasses are fucking with the wrong dude, so keep your stupid pathetic GAY comments to your GAY selves. It’s Friday- shouldn’t you fucks be all trying to get laid in the alley behind my condo? Fucking perverts.

Fascinating. But, uh, what should one make of this?

(Thanks to CL-cruising Slog tipper Ron.)

RSS icon Comments


LOL. I'd put money that's the same guy. Two unassociated Latvians in the Seattle area named Darren, both fascinated with assholes? No way. (Unless this is some Slogger's cruel joke, in which case... nice one!)

Posted by Katelyn | September 29, 2007 6:42 PM


Posted by Mr. Poe | September 29, 2007 6:42 PM


Posted by adrian! | September 29, 2007 7:01 PM

is that shit for real? it can't be, it's too perfect, not to mention predictable.

Posted by douglas | September 29, 2007 7:01 PM

This has got to be 100% fake. The other guy seemed real though.

Posted by skeptic | September 29, 2007 7:18 PM

Yeah, I bet it's fake, too. But delightful!

Posted by David Schmader | September 29, 2007 7:20 PM

that's amazing, as a prank or as reality. nice.

Posted by skeletonandkey | September 29, 2007 7:20 PM

With all of Darren's awful typos, I'm afraid of what those "few fingers" might do once they're inside.

Posted by Nick | September 29, 2007 7:31 PM

Assuming it's not a fake, Darren can eat the greyed-up, sleepy-looking peas out my Hungarian mum's 7:30am goulash log, you fucking Soviet.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | September 29, 2007 7:51 PM

That screams "prank" but it's still funny.

Oh, and Darren... you're welcome to return to where ever it is you came from if you don't like it here.

Posted by monkey | September 29, 2007 8:00 PM

FYI: Lithuanian chicks are so hot you should not let paper or cloth touch them. Latvian chicks -- not so much.

Posted by slavic fever | September 29, 2007 8:15 PM

God damn it! Please tell me everyone was not supposed to be getting laid behind the Misklashuvacis condo on Friday. Please tell me that is in error. This Friday? Yesterday?! FUCK!

I specifically -- SPECIFICALLY -- remember asking about that and I know god damn well you all said NEXT Friday. Who is responsible for this fuck up? It's just so DIS-organized!

Darren, I am sorry. On behalf of everyone, I for one apologize. But it isn't ME who makes up the schedule, and if it WAS, well, lets just say we'd be seeing some new faces around here and then shit would go down ON time, AS scheduled.

This is bullshit, man.

Posted by elenchos | September 29, 2007 8:22 PM

Ukraine smoothed out on the Lithuanian tip with a Latvian feel appeal to it.

Posted by BBD! | September 29, 2007 8:29 PM


Lithuanian chickks are hot but I'm into Czechs and Poles.

Darren Misklashuvacis on the otherhand, he's into checkin' poles.

Posted by Wocka Wocka Wocka Is Still Wocka Wocka Wocka In Any Language | September 29, 2007 8:32 PM

I like the fact that all of his future potential employers will see this when researching him:

Posted by Someone | September 29, 2007 8:37 PM

Too bad that it is a fake - the Craiglist ad was posted nearly 18 hours after his SLOG post. Still, it's intriguing that he not only reads the Stranger but Slog as well.

Posted by Matt from Denver | September 29, 2007 8:40 PM

Wow, thanks for pointg that out matt. Pinhead.

Posted by gj | September 29, 2007 9:15 PM


Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | September 29, 2007 9:26 PM

My guess is that "SLOG Tipper Ron" probably posted it on CL to pad his resume with you clowns. It was funny and well done though...

Posted by GoodGrief | September 29, 2007 9:31 PM

I LOVE good old fashioned anti-gay rants like that!! Reminds me of talking to my parents.

But why be proud of Latvian heritage? Didn't they get their asses wiped out by the Russians? And I think the Polish as well. THE FUCKING POLISH!!!!

The Latvians are the pussies of Europe, well that and the French....those capitulators!!! LOL!!!

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | September 29, 2007 9:42 PM

@castro the younger... you whine about the homophobic rant of darren the idiot. Then you go on to make racist comments yourself. Go join darren in the Fuck Off room.

Posted by hello | September 29, 2007 10:18 PM


You dare me to say anything bad about the Latvians? Real Latvian patriots are awesome. But all the Balkan people know that *some* Latvians were Nazi sympathizers with their lips firmly welded to the SS officers asses. Shit, Darren, your mom or grandma was probably some dumbass peasant girl who spread her legs for the Gauleiter because she thought the third reich was going to last for 1000 years. She told you she married a nice Latvian boy, but didn't you hear her singing "Deutchland Uber Alles" every night after bedtime?

Posted by Big Sven | September 29, 2007 10:19 PM

This guy is looking more and more like a very meticulous troll.

He goes off on a typical anti-gay rant, which, as Daniel Freykis proved, guarantees a Slog post. Then, he hits on one of The Stranger's favorite gripes: condos, and proves himself one of the feared homophobic condo-owning recent transplants to Seattle. It turns out that he reads Slog and he has revealed that he's Latvian. Am I the only one who remembers the Hutcherson Latvian saga of several months ago?

Either this is a huge coincidence or this guy is the best troll ever.

Posted by keshmeshi | September 29, 2007 10:40 PM


Isn't that where Pastor Hutch went claiming bona fides from the State Dept.?

No wonder Darren is such a douchebag - his relatives over there are probably still trying to figure that one out...

Posted by COMTE | September 30, 2007 2:21 AM

What exactly is a "jagoff?"

Posted by Carollani | September 30, 2007 8:21 AM

@25 - that's what i'm sayin'! (err...askin'???) is it some new homophobic (yet homoerotic) syndicated tv show marathon circle jerk or something?

Posted by jezbian | September 30, 2007 8:46 AM

ah! jagoff! he must be from pittsburgh!

Posted by yinzer | September 30, 2007 8:51 AM
Posted by jagoff | September 30, 2007 8:53 AM

Latvians are a bunch of fags, especially the ones that come over to the States and stay in the closet. Darren D. Misklashuvacis has a purdy mouth, but he doesn't know not to use teeth. Someone should educate that fag.

Posted by A Norwegian Fag | September 30, 2007 9:39 AM

A jagoff is a solo strummer, also a human source of annoyance akin to the asshole.
Synonyms: beatoff, poundoff, etc.

Posted by no skillz, no game | September 30, 2007 11:07 AM

@ Hello, what racial remarks did Cato make? Last I checked they were all Europeans.....the French, Poles ect are different NATIONALIES, not different races.

Posted by Hello? | September 30, 2007 11:12 AM

5 bucks says Darren D. Dipshitzki (or WTF his name is) is Issur. He's trying on a new identity.

Posted by Hi, Jagoff! | September 30, 2007 12:50 PM

Here is a fun fact for your sunday. go to google and type in bush to become dictator : do not use quotes and look what pops up!!! I am going to kill myself now

Posted by Just Me | September 30, 2007 1:12 PM

Well, sure - we can all get AIDS and die, but so can he. Those Eastern Europeans and ex-Soviets are kinky as hell. Most of them are diseased, because Communism encouraged both anal sex and pedophilia. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out that this guy has a panty fetish.

Personally, I wouldn't touch a non-native born Latvian with a ten foot pole. Even if he really does have a "condo", it was probably bought with Mafia money, and he's here to get free medical care to deal with his social diseases.

Yes, I'm afraid that "Darren" doth protest too much. But wouldn't you if you had to result to being a transvestite prostitute in a strange land to pay for your mistakes at the hand of an unscrupulous real estate agent?

It's really quite sad, when you think about it.

Posted by The only Good Communist..... | September 30, 2007 6:02 PM

In Communist Russia, the Latvians had a wide stance and tapped their feet nicely, comrade.

Posted by Silverhand | September 30, 2007 7:40 PM

Wow. And just wow. ---->Zing!

Posted by QuimbyMcF | September 30, 2007 8:08 PM

Hey assholes! You know why I found out about your little bash the Latvians party here? Its because this FAGGOT Shmader sent me an email BRAGGING about how he had organized all his minions to come running and threaten me! DON'T FUCKING PAT YOURSELVES ON THE FUCKING BACK, FAGGOTS AND FRIENDS OF FAGGOTS!!!!! I posted here because it is WAR and this shit is NOT going to go untramelled!!!!!!

LATVIANS = shock troop of the BALTICS. Ukraine + Polski solid stock of strong, real men and beautiful women! BALTS are HERRENVOLK and the REAL source of das herrenmensch!

Fuck you FAGGOTS and if you want a riot keep FUCKING with ME!!!!!

Posted by DD Misklashuvacis | October 1, 2007 4:18 AM

Oh, calm down, DeeDee (is that your "Trade" name?). No one is bashing you. I think it takes a lot of courage to be a transvestite prostitute in a strange country to pay the mortgage on your overpriced condo. Did one of the "dons" make you buy it with drug money or something?

I imagine your life is a lot like a Latvian version of "The Sopranos".

Posted by Latvian Transvestite Prostitutes Unite! | October 1, 2007 7:08 AM

Oh DD "Bring it on BITCH!!! BRING IT ON!!" Show us you have balls!!! Oh wait, you don't, the Soviets cut them from you years ago....and just to think we thought the Soviets never did anything good. Guess I was wrong!!!

Posted by Just Me | October 1, 2007 7:27 AM

Wow. This dude isn't fucking around. Maybe we shouldn't say anything bad about whatever he randomly brings up and tells us not to say something bad about.

@DD: If Schmader is toying with you, he must be really, really bored. Because you're pretty fuckin' boring dude.

Posted by Mr. Poe | October 1, 2007 8:06 AM

This is most likely a joke.
Most of these Balt-slavs live in ghettos in Lynnwood or Renton, not on CH.

But, should he be a real thing, I say 'Deport this disease'.

It is funny how so many of those Balt-slavs come over here looking for "The Land of the Free"...etc., and are just here to make a quick buck while running down everything and everyone here.

Now the 'tards are showing up in Comcast ads.

Deport the bastards I say.

Posted by old timer | October 1, 2007 9:31 AM

I am convinced that as "DD" wrote those words he was impaled on a 9"x11" Black rubber butt plug... He's pissed at queers because they are getting what he most desires but alas he has denied for himself... Hence the butt plug, hence the anger, hence his gaping prolapsed anus...

Posted by MemyselfandEYE | October 1, 2007 11:20 AM

@37: You do realize the only reason people are giving Latvians a ration of shit is because you've essentially stood up and claimed to be representative of the whole race, right?

I mean, if I acted like you and said that I'm representative of all Scotsmen, I could be assured of the same type of treatment.

Well, maybe not... People would probably throw in a lot of sheep and kilt jokes, but you get the idea...

So, keep on "representin'"... Because you're the naked floorshow!

Posted by Silverhand | October 1, 2007 11:55 AM

@37: My alleged "bragging" consisted of an emailed link to this thread with the subject line, "You just keep getting more popular!"

In other news, DDM sent me the following email this morning:

"You thought you could keep me down huh, threaten me and whatever else? You and your FAGGOT army can get FUCKED I am standing TALL dude just like the song says UNBROKEN UNBOWED!!!!!!!! EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN BITCH! You want some STEP INTO THE RING MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - DD"

I recognize the Poison quote and the GNR quote, but who's responsible for "Unbroken, Unbowed"?

Also, as he's now referred to himself as a rose besieged by faggy thorns, I'm almost certain he's fiction. And next year's Genius awards are so far away!

Posted by David Schmader | October 1, 2007 12:16 PM

Sounds like "Invictus" to me....

Posted by KY. COL. of TRUTH | October 1, 2007 1:16 PM

@44: My guesses on the remaining music references in his latest screed would be "Hammerfall - Fury of the Wild". The other two I believe you're spot on.

Posted by Silverhand | October 1, 2007 1:21 PM

Overheard today on the #43 bus from UWMC to the Ave.

Guy on cellphone: "Venice Beach, yeah, it's wild! Really wild. Yeah, they used to call it Muscle Beach. [More boring shit about Venice Beach.] Yeah, my apartment's on Capitol Hill. [pause] Yeah, I didn't know till I got here, like San Francisco and Seattle, the biggest populations. But it doesn't really bother me... I'm only here for one more year, till my girlfriend starts grad school. Colorado."

Great. Another straight who "came over here never knowing it was overrun with faggots." At least he wasn't stupid enough to buy a condo!

Posted by Will in 98103 | October 1, 2007 4:49 PM

@ 47, sounds like he's coming my way. Hopefully he heads to the Springs where one more homophobe won't make a difference.

Posted by Matt from Denver | October 1, 2007 5:35 PM

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