Books Constant Advice
posted by September 20 at 12:15 PMon
Someone in the office—named Amy Kate Horn—just declared Paul Constant’s thing about dressing oneself “the best paragraph in the Back to School guide.” Here tis:
Guess what? People don’t wear clothing to be comfortable. People wear clothing to be attractive. If comfort was our only goal as a species, we’d all be wandering around in velour sacks, idly masturbating, and eating fistfuls of pudding. So don’t wear your pajamas around campus. Sweatpants suggest that you have a load in your drawers. Crocs are for special-ed students who can’t lace their goddamned shoes. And if your clothes have holes in them, either learn to sew or throw them away. It’s a basic sign of respect for the species that you not dress like a sexless hobo.
Jesus fucking Christ. Are you reading Atlas Shrugged? Don’t you know it’ll turn you into an asshole for at least two years? When you’re college-age and your parents are paying for everything, you’re likely to be a big believer in people pulling themselves up by their bootstraps. Ayn Rand appeals to your age group for that reason, but the problem is, once you actually have to pay your own way, bootstrap-pulling gets a whole fuck of a lot harder, and Rand sounds more and more like a creepy Republican. If you’re over 25 and you still think her books are great, you’re (a) white and (b) an asshole.