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Thursday, August 9, 2007

“What’s the First Thing I Would Do if I Suddenly Found Myself with More Money Than I Know What to Do with?”

posted by on August 9 at 12:45 PM

For my friend Brian, this question was officially answered by this video of mechanical gorillas and bears performing the Bubba Sparxxx/Ying Yang Twins hit “Miss New Booty” in a pizza parlor:

Now if I suddenly found myself with cash in fuck you quantities, you can look for me to be rolling with Portland Trailblazer Darius Miles in a car identical to his, right down to the airbrushed Benjamins and scantily-clad girls on the hood.


Images courtesy NBA Noise. And thank you, Danny Wyatt.

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I'd buy myself a president.

Oh yeah, and pay handsomely to have that piece of crap car destroyed.

Posted by monkey | August 9, 2007 12:55 PM

Well thats the stupidest car I've ever seen.

Posted by Giffy | August 9, 2007 1:13 PM

God I love Fatz Geronimo.

Posted by The General (formerly ljg) | August 9, 2007 1:20 PM

I already did. I ended up loaning money to some friends who were in need (although they didn't know i had it), bought a lifetime membership to SIFF, and got about eight different coats on sale at the Nordy's sale.

Then I shoved the rest in my retirement accounts and paid off my car and put a bundle into my mortgage.

So, with me it was coats. Not sure why, maybe cause I used to live 100 miles north of the border in the Rocky Mountains up in BC.

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 9, 2007 1:28 PM

That car just collapsed my worldview.

Posted by Fnarf | August 9, 2007 2:09 PM

That car is sick and twisted. But not as sick and twisted as the one I saw once that was a Mercedes 300TD station wagon body on top of a jacked-up Toyota pickup chassis. I immediately wanted one. I'm not even sure why.

Posted by Orv | August 9, 2007 2:23 PM

Garbles, that car'd look GOOD on us!

Posted by KELLY O | August 9, 2007 2:23 PM

as looked at the picture i had one though; poor people dont deserve money because class and wealth are not linked and the poor would do absurd shit like this.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | August 9, 2007 2:39 PM

Agreed #8, just look at Britney Spears.

Posted by monkey | August 9, 2007 2:47 PM

@8: You'd at least spend a little of the money you got on microsoft office bundle so you could spell/grammar check your posts before you put them up though, right?

Posted by Joh | August 9, 2007 2:51 PM

why would I do that? grammar is a waste of time when the intent of the message is clear. pedantry on the internet is a losing battle.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | August 9, 2007 3:03 PM

on deadspin the other day, they pointed out that that car has what seems to be ben franklin smoking a joint while getting a lap dance. god i hope that's what that is.

Posted by konstantConsumer | August 9, 2007 3:25 PM

wow, bellevue ave, WOW.

Posted by angela garbes | August 9, 2007 3:26 PM

A G ignore the hatas who hate your game. That ride will be yours. Keep writing mad food reviews, And listen to the words of the wise: D O double G:

Now, that, I got me some seagrams gin
Everybody got they cups, but they aint chipped in
Now this types of shit, happens all the time
You got to get yours but fool I gotta get mine
Everything is fine when you listenin to the d-o-g
I got the cultivating music that be captivating he
Who listens, to the words that I speak
As I take me a drink to the middle of the street

Posted by SeMe | August 9, 2007 3:36 PM

angela, you have to understand that trying to undermine positions solely based on grammar is the defacto tactic used by people who have nothing of value to add to the conversation.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | August 9, 2007 3:54 PM

Thanks. Those robots have been my nightmare material since childhood -- especially when they sang from the Xanadu soundtrack. Now every time I see Darius Miles, cornrows or a pimp'd ride, I'll think of them again.

Posted by horatiosanzserif | August 9, 2007 4:05 PM

nice one

Posted by hunh? | August 9, 2007 4:25 PM

That car says, "ME".

Seriously, the car is very interesting
when considering the suspension and braking dynamics. I'd like to meet the designer and or builder to ask how they were able to deal with these issues.
It requires engineering talent. I'd
love to look it over.

Perhaps it isn't everyone's cup of tea,
however it is true to the American concept and practice of aftermarket rebuilding. Personally, I encourage these experiments. Some of these examples transcend far beyond being a tricked out car.

--- Jensen

Posted by Jensen Interceptor | August 9, 2007 4:49 PM

garbles, i can picture you cruising down MLK in your fresh ride, eating a whopper jr. and spilling ketchup/mayo on your mink coat.

Posted by d | August 9, 2007 5:00 PM

"Hit mickey-d's, Maharaji starts to bug
He ate a quarter-pounder, threw the pickles on my rug..."
...Hit my brakes, out slid skittles"
- Sir Mix-a-Lot

Some of my favorite lyrics of all time, for obvious reasons. Always gets in my head when I see a nice whip, even though the subject of the track (a shitty car) is the opposite.

Posted by Dougsf | August 9, 2007 7:39 PM

those animatronics remind me of captured! by robots.

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