Slog - Comments on Notes from the Recovery Room http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room This morning I had my second and final surgery for this stupid injury. The surgeon cut a hole in my right foot, stuck in a screwdriver, and pulled out a screw that had been anchoring an apparatus—pins, bolts, cadaver bone, tinker toys, chewing gum—that's been holding my shattered heel together for a couple of months. Screw You I: From my conversation with the pre-op nurse. "Can I keep the screw?" "Sure." "Do lots of people ask for their screws?" "Yeah. They do weird things with them because they think the screws are part of them or something." "Like what?" "Use... Copyright 2008 Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:50:24 -0800 Sun, 19 Aug 2007 18:57:14 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by mr.ryan What's worse..."restless leggs" or RESTLESS FAMILIES FROM YOUR HORRIBLE UNTIMELY FIRE FILLED DEATH WHILE SLEEPING AT THE WHEEL!

Or your restless need to blow your money! Being broke makes it harder to sleep at night than restless legs probably.

Or that restless addiction to heroine! Damn restlessness!

Or lots of other "INTENSE URGES"


Yikes

]]> mr.ryan http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785670 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785670 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:45:22 -0800 Comment by bma The side effects sound far more interesting than curing "restless leg syndrome". :)

But I still can't believe that we spend millions of fucking dollars on marketing for drugs for fictitious disorders, when the money would be far better spent on researching new anti-malarials or the like.

]]> bma http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785679 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785679 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:54:43 -0800 Comment by fnarf I heard the gambling thing for a different Restless Leg drug, Mirapex (maybe it's the same stuff, I dunno), and laughed, but then I googled it and discovered that (a) it used to be a Parkinson's drug and (b) the gambling thing is totally real and totally frightening. All these people who never gambled once in their lives who suddenly ran out and threw away a million bucks, losing their house and everything. Insane.

It makes me not believe in free will anymore. Brain chemistry is the only thing that's real. We are all robots.

]]> fnarf http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785680 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785680 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:55:31 -0800 Comment by Dr_Awesome "I gots me the Jimmy Leg!"

]]> Dr_Awesome http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785688 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785688 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 17:01:42 -0800 Comment by rb As a restless legs sufferer, I usually just wander the house all night until I pass out from exhaustion. I might give Requip a try, though. If nothing else these new urges would give me a way to pass the time in the wee hours of the morning.

]]> rb http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785694 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785694 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 17:07:32 -0800 Comment by S Every drug ever made has had the possible side effects of making the user sleepy and not qualified to operate machinery. (The "your addiction may be exacerbated" [paraphrasing] just seems like an addition to that boilerplate.) Also, from what my doctor who is really cool tells me, Restless Leg Syndrome is real, even if it is trendy.

]]> S http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785707 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785707 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 17:39:10 -0800 Comment by treacle You seriously have "restless leg 'syndrome'"? Do you ever stretch out? Or do yoga or anything?

]]> treacle http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785709 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785709 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 17:41:27 -0800 Comment by rb @7, Yep, I really do. It sucks. Stretching, yoga, etc. don't do much.

The worst, part, though, is having people roll their eyes and say "you *really* have that?"

And those annoying TV ads with the requisite trendy acronym.

]]> rb http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785726 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785726 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 18:27:38 -0800 Comment by yucca flower What the super helpful drug peddler's don't tell you about your "syndrome" is that most people who have twitchy, prickly, cramping feelings in their legs have a potassium deficiency and should eat a f--king banana!

]]> yucca flower http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785757 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785757 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 20:12:57 -0800 Comment by amazonmidwife Or up their calcium intake.

]]> amazonmidwife http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785759 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785759 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 20:20:56 -0800 Comment by S @ #9's comments re #5: I was going to write a really hateful message directed to #9 (member of the secret cool clique who discovered potassium!) but then I decided no one could seriously be as patronizingly stupid as #9, #9's just being sarcastic, and I'm quite drunk.

Also @ #4: Jimmy Leg was real: during Prohibition Jamaican ginger liquor was sold as a "medicinal aid", and was commercially aimed at African-American men; it was adulterated with poisons that caused paralysis; a lot of black guys in poverty who liked a drink or three ended up maimed for life. (This is me remebering a New Yorker article from a few years back, and as I said, I'm drunk [legally].)

]]> S http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785781 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785781 Drugs Fri, 17 Aug 2007 22:02:11 -0800 Comment by citrus as funny as restless leg syndrome apparently sounds to people, yes it's completely real. I'm not sure why it's hillarious though... the spasms can be very painful and jarring, especially (as #5 said) when you are trying to get some sleep. A close family member of mine had RLS... it was terrible to watch him suddenly wince in pain because of something that he had no way to control.


so anyway, didn't mean to sound too preachy... just a heads up.

]]> citrus http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785797 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785797 Drugs Sat, 18 Aug 2007 00:15:45 -0800 Comment by rb @9,10:

I hate those drug peddler's (sic). All this time, I just needed to eat a banana! And while we're on the topic of syndromes, AIDS is simply the result of malnutrition, mental stress and drug use, and Alzheimer's is just a severe imbalance in blood sugar levels. But those drug peddler's will tell you otherwise.

Off to eat another fucking banana at 1:30 a.m.

]]> rb http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785804 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785804 Drugs Sat, 18 Aug 2007 01:24:25 -0800 Comment by marigold So, Brendan, what are YOU going to do with your screw?

]]> marigold http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785919 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785919 Drugs Sat, 18 Aug 2007 12:05:37 -0800 Comment by Brendan Kiley I don't know what I'll do with the screw. But, just before this post slides off the page and into oblivion, here's the super-secret third part I didn't include because I knew I'd regret it:

Screw You III: An embarrassing scene which I am only relating because the pain meds have hobbled my judgment.

When I woke up in the recovery room, I was crying. I don't know why. It hurt, but not that badly. A worried-looking nurse hurried over and said she would give me a shot of morphine. (Thanks, lady!) The morphine, er, lit a little candle beneath my hospital gown, which I tried to hide. But hospital gowns are not made for hiding. So there I was: in a roomful of strangers, weeping, high on morphine, with a bathrobe on my body and an embarrassment in my lap.

]]> Brendan Kiley http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785922 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785922 Drugs Sat, 18 Aug 2007 12:24:53 -0800 Comment by Penility Brendan, at least you know that the surgery/meds/stress/etc haven't left you impotent or something. It's your body's way of giving you a thumb's up, saying "everything's ok down here, boss!"

]]> Penility http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785923 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785923 Drugs Sat, 18 Aug 2007 12:41:54 -0800 Comment by Gracie Frame your screw! Seriously. Mount it to a board with fishing line and hang it on your wall.


Weird. I had a minor surgery recently and I totally woke up crying too. I was really embarrassed but now I'm feeling a little better about it. At least I didn't have a hard-on.

]]> Gracie http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785939 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785939 Drugs Sat, 18 Aug 2007 14:25:03 -0800 Comment by Dr_Awesome Brendan- I had something similar happen to me, years ago. I was experiencing intense thought-I-was-dying pain from a ruptured appendix, and one odd side effect was a raging woody. Re: my earlier comment about the Jimmy Leg- I was just bein' silly. Wasn't that a quote from Seinfeld from years ago?

]]> Dr_Awesome http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785960 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c785960 Drugs Sat, 18 Aug 2007 16:25:08 -0800 Comment by rb Dang. Wish I was a nurse in *that* recovery room.

]]> rb http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c786219 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/two_notes_from_the_recovery_room#c786219 Drugs Sun, 19 Aug 2007 18:57:14 -0800