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Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Passion of the Christ: LIVE!

posted by on August 9 at 11:02 AM

Jesus Christ is crucified six times a day at a theme park in Orlando, Florida.

Lisa Bell, 42, husband David Bell, 50, and their 2-year-old son came from Ripley, Tenn., after seeing Holy Land on Trinity. She said they didn’t consider attending the other parks.

“Oh no. Jesus was just holding him,” Lisa Bell said, nodding to her sunburned son. “He knows who Jesus is.”

And now he’s seen Jesus whipped, beaten, spat on and crucified. That kind of thing makes an impression on a child—and keeps pro-doms in business.

RSS icon Comments

1

And the little boy got to be sunburned in the process, suffering now and increasing his chances of skin cancer later in life. Praise Jesus!

Posted by Matt from Denver | August 9, 2007 11:15 AM
2

Still, sounds like a better gig than wearing the Goofy suit on a 95-degree day at Disneyworld.

Posted by Hernandez | August 9, 2007 11:38 AM
3

Jesus's touch causes sunburn? Shit.

Posted by ohreally | August 9, 2007 11:55 AM
4

And a lifelong, uncontrollable BDSM fetish begins.

Posted by Original Andrew | August 9, 2007 11:55 AM
5

Well, the way Mel Gibson's career's been going lately (and given his apparent bent in that direction), he can always moonlight as a Jesus. Hey, it's still show business, at least!

Posted by Geni | August 9, 2007 11:58 AM
6

Ah, the innocence of childhood. Too bad my parents didn't take me to see a live action version of Jesus' death when I was a tot.

Posted by Michigan Matt | August 9, 2007 12:01 PM
7

Very powerful imagery, that whole crucifixion thing. Consider that it has enslaved most of the Western hemisphere for nearly 2000 years (and did so successfully BEFORE the advent of television or the printing press).

Ever visited Spain or South America? There's a giant cross on a hill outside of just about every town looking down on the population. Inquisition indeed.

Posted by Mahtli69 | August 9, 2007 12:08 PM
8

Where do I sign up to cast some stones on his bloody ass?

Posted by Catman | August 9, 2007 12:19 PM
9

That parent's a baby. If she really wanted to get her kid the full on crucifixion experience, she should take him to the Phillipines on Good Friday. A dozen or so people get crucified for real each year.

Posted by Gitai | August 9, 2007 12:29 PM
10

FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS FUCK ME JESUS

Posted by monkey | August 9, 2007 12:47 PM
11

Fifteen years ago, I took my three kids to the Norwegian May 17 Day parade in my native Ballard. I planned a fun, Norman Rockwell-like evening, sharing a bit of my childhood with my kids (who were six and under at the time).

Between the usual bands, floats and local officials, a small fundamentalist Christian church had an actor portraying a VERY bloody Jesus carrying his cross down the parade route. Not only that, a Roman soldier followed him, hollering and cracking a whip. There was stunned silence, then a few people watching the parade started to boo, which made it even worse. (Of course, they were booing the display, but it sounded like they were booing Jesus himself.) My kids (who had never been exposed to much of any religion and certainly not the whole Passion of Christ thing) were totally confused. How do you explain this to a six-year-old?

It was so surreal -- I still can't believe it after all these years. Being raised Catholic, I'm no stranger to over-the-top Jesus stuff, but this was different: it was forced upon people without their consent.

Now that I think about it, I guess I did get to share some of my childhood with my kids -- but the scary Jesus part wasn't what I had in mind.

I found this reprint of a Seattle Times article about it:

http://tinyurl.com/ynokfj

Posted by ballard | August 9, 2007 2:51 PM
12

interesting, #11

Posted by mr. ryan | August 9, 2007 3:08 PM
13

From the article: 'At one point, one adult yelled, "Whip him again!" Joan Hansston said, and at another, "a little boy did say, 'Shoot him in the head.'"'

Yeah, I think they're getting the message.

Posted by Fnarf | August 9, 2007 4:38 PM
14

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