Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« The Headline He Deserves | Fuck the Mariners »

Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Morning News

posted by on August 30 at 7:00 AM

Sand Trap: Iraq’s only met 3 of 18 political and security goals.

Eating Their Own: GOP turns on Sen. Larry “Footsie” Craig.

Silent Killer of the Day: Spinach.

Place Your Bets: Which White House crony will become the next American Idol Attorney General?

W.T.Oh No:
U.S. at odds with everybody’s favorite riot magnet.

The House Always Wins: Mayor Nickels’ son to plead guilty in casino scam.

Cut Loose: Dems tell fundraiser Hsu to shoo.

New York Times Exposes America’s Greatest Threat: Sagging pants.

What Nerds Do In Their Spare Time: Cambridge mathematicians work out ratio for Jessica Alba’s strut.

Never fear, Mettja C. Roate’s The New Hotdog Cookbook is here!

Hot dogs in fruited brandy sauce

1 10-ounce can condensed bullion
1 9-ounce can crushed pineapple
1/2 cup white raisins
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 cup water
1/2 cup grape brandy
12 hot dogs

Place the bullion, crushed pineapple, juice and all, and white raisins in a saucepan over moderate heat. Mix the cornstarch with the water. When the bullion begins to bubble, add the cornstarch and cook until thickened and transparent, stirring constantly. Remove from the heat and stir in the brandy.

Place the hot dogs in a lightly buttered shallow baking dish. Pour the sauce over the hot dogs. Place in a 375 degree oven for 8 minutes or until heated through.

What kind of asshole brings condiments and measuring tape to a bris?

RSS icon Comments


What a sophisticated wiener recipe. I'll be sure to serve that at my next buffet.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | August 30, 2007 7:21 AM

Spinach rules.

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 30, 2007 7:43 AM

dude, fuck. That photo comment ruined my day just now. ewwww.

Posted by Juris | August 30, 2007 7:48 AM

YOU are the fucking NERD and a fucking JOKE, and your friend, the news editor, are pussies of the highest degree. Let's giggle about WTO, you fucks.

Posted by keenan | August 30, 2007 7:48 AM

keenen needs to get high.

Posted by Mike in MO | August 30, 2007 8:28 AM

Keenan needs to get laid.

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 30, 2007 8:41 AM

3 of 18 benchmarks in Iraq ... It's kind of buried in the story, but the 3 that have been satisfied are:
1) Pick a national mascot (Buteo rufinus, aka the Long-legged Buzzard),
2) Find a dependable caterer for the annual Ramadan party (Todai),
and 3) Get the front steps power-washed (dried blood removal)

Posted by Mahtli69 | August 30, 2007 8:58 AM

lmao, a bris.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | August 30, 2007 9:00 AM

keenen needs to get high and get laid.

Posted by monkey | August 30, 2007 9:16 AM

Yeah Keenan, Jessica Alba has the perfect dimensions for . . . uh . . . walking. Why don't you find a little privacy and noodle that for a while.

Posted by left coast | August 30, 2007 9:18 AM

i get the feeling that they based the ratio on alba because they find her more attractive than others, then fit others into the ratio.

texas sharp shooter fallacy.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | August 30, 2007 9:37 AM

For a sec I thought that was the fossilized Walrus wiener. PHEW!

Posted by orangekrush | August 30, 2007 9:44 AM

In my world, 3 of 18 measures that Iraq was supposed to meet is an immeadiate FAILURE.

Time to leave. NOW!

Posted by Will in Seattle | August 30, 2007 10:07 AM

Keenan needs to move out of his mom's basement.

And of course shrub will spin this in his inimicable style: "The good news is, the Iraqi government is making demonstra - demons- good progress, having achieved several benchmarks since the beginning of the surge. I'm also happy to report that chocolate rations have increased to 20 grams per person."

Posted by COMTE | August 30, 2007 11:01 AM

When I was in high school (during the Mesozoic era) to have worn baggy pants half-way down your ass would have prompted a singular reaction: 'pants' them. Isn't that the message? "My pants are already half off, pull them down the rest of the way." Subliminal sexual message here? Like people with facial tattoos who resemble the hockey-masked Dr. Lechter. It's a free country - feel free to move about it looking ugly and stupid (at least according to those who're already self-endowed with taste).

Posted by KY. COL. of TRUTH | August 30, 2007 11:43 AM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).