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Thursday, August 9, 2007

The Morning News

posted by on August 9 at 6:06 AM

Subtle Progress: Roadside bomb attacks on US forces reached all-time high last month.

Don’t Ask: Pentagon softening its position on the military’s expensive, ridiculous ban on gays and lesbians.

A Tree Falls in Brooklyn: Several dozen, actually, after a rare tornado touches down in New York City.

A Bridge Falls in Minnesota: Investigators see “potential flaw” in the design of that bridge that collapsed in Minneapolis. The bridge falling into the Mississippi River during rush hour killing a bunch people was the first clue…

Pat Buchanan Must be Shitting Himself: Non-whites the majority in a third of the most-populous counties in the US.

No, I Can’t Spare Some Change: Woman shoots panhandler in Cincinnati.

Surprise! The tents being set up in Gasworks park—pissing off the NIMBYs—are for a surprise party, an organizer tells the PI. Not even the guests know they’re invited.

Enumclaw Can’t Catch a Break: Profoundly ugly piece of public art—“Boys in the Band”—purchased on the cheap turns out to be a counterfeit. Enumclaw leaders say the piece—which as nothing to do with bitter, pre-Stonewall homos in New York City—accurately “represented arts in Enumclaw.” Check it out.

Required Viewing: The Daily Show on Bob “Suckin’ Off Scary Black Dudes” Allen:

RSS icon Comments

1

I can't believe these fascists want to ban nighttime rooftop sex with pumpkins.

Posted by Darcy | August 9, 2007 7:34 AM
2

Grease up the shingles.

Posted by Gabriel | August 9, 2007 7:35 AM
3

Fuck that, man. I have to move before Halloween rolls round.

Actually, "shingle-greasing" sounds like something they'd be against as well.

Posted by Darcy | August 9, 2007 7:38 AM
4

That piece of public "art" blows. It's awful. Awful. I can't explain to you how terrible I think it is. I hate it. And that story just makes me hate it more.

Posted by Michigan Matt | August 9, 2007 7:46 AM
5

Is there a blog somewhere that's keeping a tally of all these right-wing hypocrites? It's honestly too much to keep track of. It seems lately that there's about one such incident every couple of weeks, or more.

Posted by Gabriel | August 9, 2007 7:52 AM
6

Enumclaw deserves crappy counterfeit art if they're going to buy it off the internet. There are artists in the area they could have bought from to actually represent their local arts community, but instead they bought a statue that looks like something your grandma would put on a shelf next to the sad clown statue.

Posted by Jessica | August 9, 2007 7:52 AM
7

I'm le tired.

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 9, 2007 8:05 AM
8

That thing in Enumclaw is as horrible as the "walking on logs" monstrosity at the end of the West Seattle Bridge.

Denver had some shitty public art in the 90s. There was a Rockwellesque bronze sculpture of some cub scouts raising a real flag. One of the kids, so overcome with patriotism, was saluting with one hand and covering his heart with the other. I always wanted to set the flag on fire.

Posted by Matt from Denver | August 9, 2007 8:07 AM
9

@6--Right on. Screw them for daring to bargain-hunt with public dollars. Uh, yeah.

Posted by Heidi | August 9, 2007 8:44 AM
10

Wait, there are no laws preventing the display of counterfeit works of art? The feds can't swoop in and seize the sculpture, and fine the city for knowingly participating in the black market?

What the hell?

I like how Enumclaw is representing their arts community as a bunch lazy bad artists who copy others' works for an underhanded living.

Posted by seattle98104 | August 9, 2007 8:48 AM
11
Posted by Mr. Poe | August 9, 2007 8:48 AM
12

@9

You can still bargain hunt AND buy art from local artists (who you claim to be representing with this fake monstrosity)

Nice bit of instant karma if you ask me)

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | August 9, 2007 8:52 AM
13

Pat Buchanan Must be Shitting Himself

I love Dan's headlines. Also, wouldn't it be great if PB actually shit himself? Like in public?

Posted by Mike in MO | August 9, 2007 9:08 AM
14

For Megan Seling and David Schmader:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/6935471.stm

Lots of pics of Fatty Kitties!

Posted by Original Monique | August 9, 2007 9:09 AM
15

Enumclaw's fake art is tacky, but in Lacey there is an egregious statue of a girl running into traffic without looking, flying a kite. They call it Kite Girl:

http://community.theolympian.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_itemId=1340

Posted by Diana | August 9, 2007 9:12 AM
16

Original Monique: I protest! Only 3 of those cats are worthy of the title "fatty kitty", the rest are simply diabetic or big-ish.

Posted by Jessica | August 9, 2007 9:14 AM
17

Enumclaw's fake art is tacky, but in Lacey there is an egregious statue of a girl running into traffic without looking, flying a kite. They call it Kite Girl:

The Lacey "Kite Girl" statue

Posted by Diana | August 9, 2007 9:17 AM
18

@9 - well, I'd say nearly $6000 is pricey for a fake that isn't even pure bronze - since Brass is a relatively cheap metal, especially if it's a poor quality of Brass (which considering that this thing is a counterfeit? that possibility is highly likely).

And also, I'd say it's a slap to the face to 'outsource' for a statue representing LOCAL arts. Dear god, I know this area has a rather dodgey definition of art, but I'd think I'd be more peeved if they used a better sculpture from a nonlocal to represent 'local art'.

And thing is? This isn't even good, look at the trumpet player, his hands are all wrong for playing, not to mention the whole statue reeks of sap that's only rivaled by those disgusting precious moments figurines.

...And it looks my $.02 turned out to be more like $2

Posted by Shini | August 9, 2007 9:17 AM
19

@13:

That's why I'm still waiting for someone to invent the "bowel disruptor".

And how the Hell do you "fake" a cast bronze statue (regardless of its relative aesthetic quality) that must weigh somewhere in the range of a ton or more? I mean, it's not like you can just sneak up to the original in the middle of the night and make a giant wax impression of it. And I would think that trying to reproduce a piece strictly from photographs (as appears to have been done in this instance) would result in such an obvious facsimile that no one except the most uneducated of rubes would be taken in by -

- Oh, wait. This is Enumclaw. 'nuff said.

Posted by COMTE | August 9, 2007 9:25 AM
20

Gas Works' "one day event" requires a 10-day set-up and one-day tear-down. That's nearly two weeks of closure for some rich jackass.

Posted by DOUG. | August 9, 2007 9:31 AM
21

Shini, you made me look again at the trumpeter, and I have to say, he appears to be in the act of flinging his trumpet away. Look where his hand is. It's not on the valves. It doesn't appear to be touching the trumpet at all. And his other hand is behind his back! How's it staying up?

And celebrating local art with a counterfeit from Thailand is kind of a slap in the face, too.

People don't expect civic art to be good. It never is. It's usually stolid and boring: a statue of a guy in a long coat in the nineteenth century, or a big piece of I-bar plop art in the 20th. This piece isn't boring; it's PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGED.

What they should have got, of course, is a bronze horse with a hard on.

Posted by Fnarf | August 9, 2007 9:35 AM
22

Sorry double posty. The first one timed out after a couple of minutes of the animated blue and white bars. I checked, and it wasn't there, then re-wrote it.

Does it take about sixty seconds for everyone to post? Or just me? Is there a quicker way? A best browser for slogging? Are people reading it at slog.thestranger.com or via RSS or something else?

Posted by Diana | August 9, 2007 9:37 AM
23

Posting, she is sloooooow on Le Slog.

I am LONGING to see a righteous contemporary production of Boys in the Band. The time has come. Bitter is forever...

"What I am Michael is a 32 year-old, ugly, pock marked Jew fairy, and if it takes me a little while to pull myself together, and if I smoke a little grass before I get up the nerve to show my face to the world, it's nobody's god damned business but my own. And how are you this evening?"

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | August 9, 2007 9:52 AM
24

Fnarf -

I noticed the trumpet because I was in orchestra briefly in the middle school (Jackass kids made me give up Cello, sigh - and don't get me started on the insane violins-to-all-other-instruments ratio going on). I have a feeling this 'boys in the band' is actually a composite of several different sculpture fitted together, which is why the experts may have a hard time IDing the 'original', because the complete composition of that ugly statue seemed off.

here in Spokane, some of the Art's okay, if you're into the modern abstract/minimalist pieces, others are terrible.

@19 -
Perhaps the inside of the sculpture is filled with lead, or some heavy cheap, very dense material to counterfeit the weight of a genuine bronze sculpture, or again, as you suggested - the officers can't tell their hands from their asses.

And that piece does look like it's done from Photo references - of several different sculptures.

Posted by Shini | August 9, 2007 9:56 AM
25

Fnarf -

I noticed the trumpet because I was in orchestra briefly in the middle school (Jackass kids made me give up Cello, sigh - and don't get me started on the insane violins-to-all-other-instruments ratio going on). I have a feeling this 'boys in the band' is actually a composite of several different sculpture fitted together, which is why the experts may have a hard time IDing the 'original', because the complete composition of that ugly statue seemed off.

here in Spokane, some of the Art's okay, if you're into the modern abstract/minimalist pieces, others are terrible.

@19 -
Perhaps the inside of the sculpture is filled with lead, or some heavy cheap, very dense material to counterfeit the weight of a genuine bronze sculpture, or again, as you suggested - the officers can't tell their hands from their asses.

And that piece does look like it's done from Photo references - of several different sculptures.

Posted by Shini | August 9, 2007 10:01 AM
26

I would love to direct a local production of "Boys in the Band." At Pony.

Posted by Dan Savage | August 9, 2007 10:10 AM
27

Well, Dan, you've got a costume designer here.

How the world goes round.

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | August 9, 2007 11:02 AM
28

First time I saw Boys in the Band was at the Music Box in Chicago, it was a double-bill with the Wizard of Oz. You could smell the poppers from Southport Avenue.

Posted by Boomer in NYC | August 9, 2007 11:30 AM
29

@28 *twinkle*

Posted by It's Mark Mitchell | August 9, 2007 11:35 AM
30

The city said the prices they got from locals were too high for their budget. Could be that the local artists jacked their prices for perceived gov't pork cash. Would not be the first time. Whatever, the cash didn't exist in the city's coffers. Yeah, they ended up with shit but they still decided to put more cash towards other stuff like social services and that makes sense to me.

Posted by Heidi | August 9, 2007 1:52 PM

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