Celeb Slut’s Claws in Brokeback Butt Boy; Gays on Alert!
posted by August 3 at 9:27 AMon
Sources far too terrible to fathom have reported that some evil slut calling itself Reese Whitherspoon has risen from hell and is somehow forcing my future husband Jake Gyllenhaal to date her. Roofies? Hypnotism? Witchcraft? Yes.
First it was Ryan Phillipe, and now this. This agression against The Gays cannot stand.
Okay, gays. You know your duty. GET HER!