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RSS icon Comments on "Once You Get That STD, You Don't Get a Second Chance"

1

now christians don't believe in antibiotics?

Posted by erin | August 16, 2007 4:34 PM
2

Why didn't this fat ass sing the song at the McDonalds drive through?

Homosexuals die at the age of 42.

No one told Merv Griffin that one. He should have been dead 40 years ago.

Posted by patrick | August 16, 2007 4:37 PM
3

I missed the top of that red cross at first and thought the logo said "God lube." I liked it better that way.

Posted by Darcy | August 16, 2007 4:42 PM
4

Easy for him to say.

Posted by Jude Fawley | August 16, 2007 5:07 PM
5

Oh, yeah. Laugh it up. But this kind of music is also why we didn't stop the war.

Posted by elenchos | August 16, 2007 5:08 PM
6

Somebody book this guy at ReBar. Fast!

Posted by MyDogBen | August 16, 2007 5:14 PM
7

I like how the first verse was along the lines of "Girls, remember, men are all date rapists. Boys, remember, all girls are filthy, diseased whores."

Posted by Ben | August 16, 2007 5:15 PM
8

"1 in three have an STD. Look to the right. Look to the left. If its not them its me."

Sometimes I wonder if these people have even the science sense of a 12 year old. Then I answer my own question.

Most STD's are no worse then the other crap you get by living in proximity to the environment.

Posted by Giffy | August 16, 2007 5:23 PM
9

i like the way he says "fawnicayshun".

Posted by bing | August 16, 2007 7:28 PM
10

"About a third of people interviewed (Where? What people? What interview?) say they wish they would have waited until they got married... and that's probably a low number."

Is it weird that I feel like having premarital sex RIGHT NOW?

Posted by nomi malone | August 16, 2007 7:34 PM
11

@10
Was the only one who heard that as him being not to sure that 1/3 is not that many. Fractions are one of the devils many tricks after all.

Posted by Giffy | August 16, 2007 7:42 PM
12

I also love that whole bit about HPV and how "ladies if you get that you'll get cervical cancer, you'll *never* have children". The fact that they'll have been denied a vaccine that would have saved them has nothing to do with it obviously...

Posted by Rozzen | August 16, 2007 8:04 PM
13

The old World Book Encyclopedias and Reader's Digest Condensed Books add a classy, intellectual touch.

Books are awfully decorative, don't you think?

Posted by catalina vel-duray | August 16, 2007 9:54 PM
14

Oh, and it really says something that godtube doesn't tell you how long these horrid pieces are going to be. A countdown would at least give you some sort of feeling that it would be over eventually.

Lastly, I'm gay, 42, and not dead yet. And I bet I'll live longer than that fat ass doofus.

Posted by catalina vel-duray | August 16, 2007 9:57 PM
15

Is the leading question in regards to how ridiculous the song is, or how ugly the man is? Maybe if someone other than Uncle Rapist told kids to abstain, they might listen.

I submit to you, peoples of slog, that having attractive people sing about abstinence would work. After all, if you did what they say, they might have sex with you.

Posted by Me | August 16, 2007 10:05 PM
16

Oh. My. God.

Okay, I was one of those very committed go-to-church multiple times a week teenagers who did NOT have sex until my late twenties.

And even *I* did not spout this tripe.

Repeat after me:
- Antibiotics work for most STDs.
- Condoms do not break when stored and used properly. This includes LUBE.
- Most women with HPV do not get cervical cancer.
- And no, I do not regret having permarital sex!

Posted by JenK | August 16, 2007 10:51 PM
17

pml, I love how he just has to abandon the whole singing bit when he gets to genital warts. Like the subject is so heavy that he can't bear to sing (or maybe just can't find a rhyme?).

I couldn't bear it all the way to the end though...

Posted by genevieve | August 16, 2007 11:10 PM
18

See also: Pew Research Center: fewer than 4 in 10 Americans consider sex outside of marriage to be wrong.

http://pewresearch.org/assets/social/pdf/Marriage.pdf

Posted by JenK | August 16, 2007 11:18 PM
19

Holy fuck! If this is a sample of abstinence-only education, I predict a population explosion among conservative Christians in the next 10 years. I can't imaging anything more cringe inducing than being forced by a parent or teacher to watch this tripe.

Posted by SDA in SEA | August 16, 2007 11:35 PM
20

rhymes for genital warts:

congenital dwarves?
decimal thwarts?
phenobarbitol shorts?
harry "the medical" schwartz?

yeah, it's a pretty hard one

Posted by erin | August 17, 2007 1:13 AM
21

its kind of catchy isn't it?

Posted by jezebella | August 17, 2007 5:13 AM
22

This guy is awesome! Pure comedic genius - it takes serious dedication to stay that straight-faced during such an over the top parody. We should send him flowers.

Posted by StotheL | August 17, 2007 6:42 AM
23

OMG. Uncle fatass is an ex-gay?

He must have substituted his desire for manlove with food...

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=b6c886981755d579fb4d

Posted by Catalina vel-duray | August 17, 2007 6:54 AM
24

The fact that they think this would be good for college campuses is good proof that they're totally off base.

Posted by move_it_by_bike | August 17, 2007 7:02 AM
25

I want phenobarbital shorts!

Posted by Soupytwist | August 17, 2007 7:35 AM
26

Sorry, I couldn't get past "Abstinence. Abstinence. Abstinence. (Come on, everybody!) Abstinence." Rough.

Posted by Levislade | August 17, 2007 9:04 AM
27

wait wait wait wait wait.

i get the the message behind:

"when you're young practice abstinence...abstinence"

but what the fuck is up with:

"when you get old, too! practice abstinence"

WHEN I GET OLD TOO!?

Posted by Lindy West | August 17, 2007 9:55 AM
28

Genital warts?

A ship in all Ports?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | August 17, 2007 10:29 AM
29

You know, I'd be more inclined to listen to him if someone taught the guy how to write a bridge. That relentless G C D progression just won't convince me of anything.

Posted by the man who couldn't blog | August 17, 2007 10:55 AM
30

What is really scary is that USAID-funded educational programs around the world (including sub-Saharan Africa) also stress abstinence, with no evidence that abstinence-oriented education works. And sadly, even young women who are genitally-mutilated are increasingly having premarital sex. Somehow I can't imagine this guy's message would have the intended effect.

Do middle-aged abstinence advocates like our portly chanteur have such selective memories that they have forgotten how strong the sex drive is in adolescents? As Mark Twain pointed out in "Letters from the Earth", older people who condemn the young for their sexual activities would probably throw themselves on the nearest available warm body if suddenly their hormone levels and physique suddenly returned to that of age 16. Have they really forgotten how horny they were when young, or were they somehow spared a normal adolescent sex drive?

Posted by Julie | August 17, 2007 1:37 PM
31

Erin @20, you just totally made my freaking day. Ah...
.
"Brother, keep it in yo' pants, keep it in yo' pants, sing it wit' me! "

Posted by Emma Leigh | August 17, 2007 4:35 PM

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