Slog - Comments on No Sex, Thanks--I'm still Paying the Emergency-Room Bills from the Last Time http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen For the crazy and/or lazy: Summer sex positions from Cosmopolitan Magazine, most of which are only somewhat likely to put you in the hospital! In lieu of clever commentary, I'll just post a few images of these highly improbable positions here, and direct you to The Bachelor Guy, who says: "Some of these would challenge the acrobats of Cirque Du Soleil, let alone a 30-something couch-jockey with a bum knee." They include: • The Stairway to Heaven • Ladder Lovin' And for those looking for lower-impact erotic fun: • The Randy Raft! Says the Bachelor: "There might even be room... Copyright 2008 Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:37:39 -0800 Thu, 16 Aug 2007 10:02:18 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by Explorer The hottest sex position of the summer is anything you can get away with in the photo booth at Pony.

]]> Explorer http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776513 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776513 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:39:11 -0800 Comment by autumnis died Sooo last year. These were the icons for the Special-Ed Olympics, 2003.

]]> autumnis died http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776515 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776515 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:41:11 -0800 Comment by Gitai Feh. I'm too lazy to do any position nowadays more taxing than doggy style. Damn this heavy workload.

]]> Gitai http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776518 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776518 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:44:10 -0800 Comment by Giffy Those don't even look close to fun, especially the latter one.

]]> Giffy http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776519 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776519 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:44:39 -0800 Comment by Mr. Poe Psh. No gay lovin' on this post.

]]> Mr. Poe http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776520 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776520 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:45:18 -0800 Comment by Judah NSFFW, FFS.

]]> Judah http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776527 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776527 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:48:25 -0800 Comment by Mr. Poe Take a day off. Cough.

]]> Mr. Poe http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776531 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776531 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:51:59 -0800 Comment by tiptoe tommy I wonder what David Postman thinks...

]]> tiptoe tommy http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776533 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776533 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:53:05 -0800 Comment by Matt from Denver Who thinks it would be fun to screw on a flight of stairs? The others are impractical but look like they could be fun - you know, like if the raft doesn't fold in half or just pop out from under the girl, or if the ladder isn't too small for such a thing, but any woman silly enough to try the stairs is asking for a dozen appointments at the chiropractor. And the guy better have a strong upper body because he's going to be exhausted.

]]> Matt from Denver http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776534 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776534 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:53:19 -0800 Comment by Jessica Sometimes I think Cosmo is aimed directly at girls 15-22, because these positions only look intriguing if you just started having sex and want to try it in EVERY DIFFERENT POSITION POSSIBLE, EVER.

That shit looks like way too much effort for me and Mr. Jessica.

]]> Jessica http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776536 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776536 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:53:54 -0800 Comment by Nick Does anyone over at Cosmo actually get laid? Watersex is highly overrated. Sounds awesome in theory, with floating around and all, but plays hell with the actual mechanics. It can be done, don't get me wrong, but its definately something that fails to live up to the hype. Not to mention, most pools are too deep to have the raft one work, unless the guy is 6'8" or taller...

]]> Nick http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776537 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776537 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 11:54:08 -0800 Comment by It's Mark Mitchell Here's some gay, Mistah Poe.

@3 I'm so lazy I'm thinking of becoming a bottom so I can just lie there and read a book or something...

]]> It's Mark Mitchell http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776548 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776548 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:05:51 -0800 Comment by tsm It seems to me that highly unusual sex positions are usually more fun in theory than practice, and mostly intriguing to those who spend more time viewing porn than having sex.

@11 - I've had decent sex in hot tubs, but it's true, pool sex usually doesn't work so well. There seems to be, well, lubrication issues.

]]> tsm http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776555 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776555 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:12:14 -0800 Comment by Dianna Yah, I could never understand water sex. Water washes away all lubrication. But that one on the raft looks kind of fun....in the shallow end?

]]> Dianna http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776557 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776557 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:15:19 -0800 Comment by Gloria Lazy fucks, unite! So much pleasure, so little effort.

]]> Gloria http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776571 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776571 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:24:29 -0800 Comment by Diana Or maybe that's meant to be in the kiddie pool.

]]> Diana http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776572 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776572 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:24:36 -0800 Comment by infrequent @15: here's your group's slogan:

lazy fucks for lazy fucks

]]> infrequent http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776592 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776592 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:47:53 -0800 Comment by Will in Seattle been there done that - and if you have sex on a beach or in the surf, the sand is not a good idea, IMHO.

]]> Will in Seattle http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776600 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776600 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 12:54:40 -0800 Comment by Gloria @17: And next comes the t-shirt stage.

]]> Gloria http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776610 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776610 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:08:00 -0800 Comment by monkey Water doesn't wash away Crisco.

]]> monkey http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776620 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776620 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:23:36 -0800 Comment by NapoleonXIV Why am I suddenly overcome by the urge to go chlorinate my pool?

]]> NapoleonXIV http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776637 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776637 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:49:59 -0800 Comment by maxsolomon is there a position for lazy couples where both partners can be on the bottom?

]]> maxsolomon http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776639 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776639 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 13:53:56 -0800 Comment by Once more...with feeling @22: Vibrators.

]]> Once more...with feeling http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776669 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776669 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 14:24:42 -0800 Comment by K X One

OMG!
Crisco?!

]]> K X One http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776732 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776732 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 15:26:26 -0800 Comment by monkey Yes, Crisco.

]]> monkey http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776780 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776780 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 16:15:41 -0800 Comment by Grant Cogswell I don't buy the Randy Raft. She's gonna go slidin' all over that shit, and suddenly fall off it and break your dick in like, three seconds.

]]> Grant Cogswell http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776792 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776792 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 16:32:06 -0800 Comment by maxsolomon @23:

they'd need to be carbon neutral.

]]> maxsolomon http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776809 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776809 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 16:47:35 -0800 Comment by Will in Seattle @25 - you take a soapy shower after - but it gets all over you bedsheets.

]]> Will in Seattle http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776825 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776825 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 16:57:18 -0800 Comment by JenK A sling has all the benefits of the raft, minus the lubrication issues. Not to mention a sling is year-round!

]]> JenK http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776849 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c776849 Sex Tue, 07 Aug 2007 17:26:16 -0800 Comment by anners ugh, ocean water in girl parts ftl.

]]> anners http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c777251 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c777251 Sex Wed, 08 Aug 2007 08:54:15 -0800 Comment by Geni @22 - well, duh. Both (or all three of you) lie on your sides and just sort of wriggle.

Geez, do I have to explain everything us old farts do to you damn kids?!

]]> Geni http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c777448 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c777448 Sex Wed, 08 Aug 2007 12:33:50 -0800 Comment by cjnbfm jnok eunrdxjg jdfy ytwlz hapsd rjxu iqwdj ebiz

]]> cjnbfm jnok http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c784535 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c784535 Sex Thu, 16 Aug 2007 10:01:39 -0800 Comment by qukjf lcpdn qxiu tfkgre yrce tmdy aqpe zitsjrvwb rgieaqdw http://www.thopnq.qvaosxjf.com

]]> qukjf lcpdn http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c784539 http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/08/no_sex_thanksim_still_paying_the_emergen#c784539 Sex Thu, 16 Aug 2007 10:02:18 -0800