City Mystery Bong Hobbles Washington Ferry System
posted by on August 23 at 10:37 AM
Yesterday morning, one of the Washington’s largest ferries—the Seattle-Bainbridge boat, which holds 2,500 passengers and 202 vehicles—was held at Colman Dock for over an hour, after a “suspicious package” was found in the men’s restroom.
Yesterday afternoon, KING 5 reported that “the Washington State Patrol refused to describe the object except to call it a ‘nonhazardous, nonexplosive item.’”
But an FBI official was more specific:
“Someone found a bong,” said David Gomez, FBI assistant special agent in charge. Less than an hour later Gomez said his information came from an FBI bomb technician who hadn’t actually seen the object.
Full, mysterious story here.
Well, "bong" sounds a lot like "bomb". Hmm...
Oh no, it's the Unabonger!
Oh God. A bong. Quick. Shut down the ferry. Monosyllabically speaking, of course.
jesus fucking christ what an overreaction. this was on CNN as a terror scare!
when you want to ditch your bong, you pass it on, hopefully to a young pothead just starting out. when my roommate & i decided our 30" was fucking us up too much (we could not resist its siren call, and then we'd be useless), we put in the phone booth outside our apt., and it was gone in 10 minutes.
one of the only bongs i ever "owned" was nicked as a souvenier from a party that Tullycraft played in athens, ga. It was a cheap plastic thing, 1/2 ft high, and was lying beside the ratty futon where i was trying to get some zzz's before playing. i mean there. was. a . special. guest. at. the. party. maybe i just needed a memento.
Seattlest is reporting that the item, based on the description, may have been something called a "buster", i.e. a home-made device designed to masked the smell of marijuana smoke.
Damn you Bong Boy!
Obviously, we need some training for these people. I think there's a head shop a block away from my house in Fremont. They should go there.
Run for your lives! There's a bomb on the ferry! Wait. You said "bong"?
Never mind.
Some days you just can't get rid of a bong.
re: ferry hookah
---bong, no get it right!!! it was a hookah or a gheyloon as it is known in Iran...left by one of those swarthy middle eastern men we splashed all over the local media the last couple of days.
end message.
Dept. of Fear
The Seattle Times repeatedly changed their story on-line yesterday. Until the afternoon they posted "parts of a faulty explosive device" were found on the ferry. Sensational to say the least. Misrepresenting the truth, perhaps.
anyone know what they're planning on doing with said bong? i could use a piece (my first)...
unabonger. genius!
Clearly, it was a chemical weapons style attack.
The bong would be "activated" by a hidden signal, at which point the Ferry's bridge would be "hotboxed" via blowing smoke in the ventilation system.
Once the "hotbox" procedure was complete, the Captain and crew would suffer a range of symptoms: red eyes, dry mouth, forgetfulness, and the dreaded "munchies."
These symptoms would incapacitate the crew, leaving the uncontrolled (and even uncontrollable) ferry to smash into the docks, causing untold amounts of carnage and death.
This brilliant yet malevolent plan is evidenced in this "dry run" that the authorities so skillfully uncovered.
Obviously, the only logical course of action is to 1) close all smoke shops nationwide, and 2) place drug sniffing dogs in every ferry and boat in every port and dock in the country.
Oh, and one last thing: raise the terror threat to "super duper bloody red."
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