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Thursday, August 23, 2007

Hey, Housewives!

posted by on August 23 at 14:55 PM

Is your marriage sexless and dull? Drudgery of housework got you down? Don’t ask for sex or help around the house—buy a vibrator attachment for your vacuum cleaner, and you’ll moan for more, more, more carpet to clean!

According to The Sun:

WOMEN could turn dust into lust — with a sex toy that brings pleasure to HOUSEWORK. […]

The plastic tubular gadget fits on the end of a vacuum pipe.

Its makers say frustrated housewives can place it above their private parts — and orgasm in just TEN SECONDS.

vacuum.jpg

I used to moan about housework—but now I moan while I do it!

RSS icon Comments

1

Sure, it's all fun and games until someone gets an ovary sucked out.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | August 23, 2007 2:59 PM
2

shouldn't this infuriate you since they designed a tool specifically for women and housecleaning?!? i mean, the nerve to think that women run the vacum and are domestic slaves to men.

Posted by ddv | August 23, 2007 3:01 PM
3

Sure, frustrated housewives should just masturbate more. Don't leave the loser who can't pleasure you, don't demand that he get better, just accept your lot and rub it while he's at work banging the admin.

Posted by Matt from Denver | August 23, 2007 3:03 PM
4

Helen, your carpet looks AMAZING!

Posted by monkey | August 23, 2007 3:08 PM
5

Cleaning should be ecstasy for a woman. After my girlfriend did Halachic conversion so we could marry, she became a much better house cleaner. Sex got better to!

Posted by Adina | August 23, 2007 3:10 PM
6

reminds me, babes in toyland is closed? the mexican food place is closed next to neumos?

thank goodness we have a lot of rich people in this town to rent out the new spaces and spend lots to remodel, lots on promotion, lots on interesting menus.

i'm picking up a cucumber at macphersons on beacon hill, and gonna be absent from your scene for a while. life certainly has more to offer, and it starts with a good old fashioned O

Posted by jan | August 23, 2007 3:20 PM
7

What will modern science think of next? Replacing the Flash Blend setting on my Waring 14-speed blender with Hot Flash for that extra rush while preparing frozen Margueritas?

Posted by QuimbyMcF | August 23, 2007 3:24 PM
8

Just buy a Roomba and send it off while you get off the standard way.

(Seriously, though, I recommend the Roomba. It rocks.)

Posted by tsm | August 23, 2007 3:36 PM
9

10 years working as a paramedic in a rural emergency room showed me:

1) Watch out when it's a full moon.
2) No glass in the vagina or ass.
3) No suction in the vagina or ass.
4) The use of a wine bottle in the vagina or ass when incorrectly applied does one of two things:
a) The neck snaps off and you have a bloody mess.
b) You start pulling parts out if the suction in the bottle is just right.
5) The vacuum cleaner should be used for cleaning the floor.

Just sayin.

Posted by Dave Coffman | August 23, 2007 3:39 PM
10

Um, boys? A vibrator works by stimulating the clit. So does this contraption. You don't insert it; you hold it on your clit. Therefore: No risk of pulling out organs. Still looks like a dumb idea, though.

Posted by ECB | August 23, 2007 3:57 PM
11

You thought I was gonna look at teh gadget and try and figure it out?

Posted by NapoleonXIV | August 23, 2007 4:02 PM
12

The washer and drier got all the love, and now the vacuum wants some. And I suppose they have to figure out something to do for the stove and ... maybe that will keep a woman at home.

The whole thing is just odd

Posted by OR Matt | August 23, 2007 4:18 PM
13

My husband does the vacuuming. He wants to know why they're not advertising a Vac-U-Suck attachment.

Posted by Geni | August 23, 2007 4:21 PM
14

Dave Coffman @9 = POST OF THE YEAR!!!

Posted by jzilla | August 23, 2007 4:30 PM
15

C'mon Dave @ 9. What kind of idiot would put an open wine bottle inside of themselves or someone else? Of course it could suck stuff out if it got locked on there. Scary thought.

Posted by call me a snot | August 23, 2007 4:55 PM
16

@8 Ah its hungry...

Posted by Giffy | August 23, 2007 9:34 PM
17

Is no one going to point out the fact that if the fun only lasts 10 seconds, you sure as hell aren't gonna get a lot of cleaning done?

Posted by Kate | August 23, 2007 10:06 PM
18

Matt @3:
Since when is masterbation a sign that your partner isn't satisyfing you? Masterbation, especially female masterbation, is a blessed thing. If your girlfriend is an avid masterbator, marry her immediately!

Have you ever fucked a chick who never masterbated before? I have, and although I've never fucked a blow up doll, but I imagine the experience is quite similar.

Posted by Sean | August 23, 2007 11:02 PM
19

#18. for christsakes... it's spelled masturbation... masterbation makes you sound like a fuckin hillbilly.... and i had a friend, by the way, who mastUrbated growing up and used the euphamism "vacuming" for the act, about 30 years ago.... funny.

Posted by scout | August 24, 2007 12:21 AM

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