Celeb Hellbitch Snatches the Only Man I’ll Ever Love; Then Cheats Like a Filthy Whore!
posted by on August 6 at 13:01 PM
Last week somebody reported the horrible, horrible news that Reese Witherspoon had, through diabolical means no doubt, somehow enslaved the mind of Jake Gyllenhaal, and now he thinks he’s dating her. And me? I was pretty darn pissed. Sure and youbetcha.
Well.
Now it is reported that the evil two-timing bag of sperm has been seen lunching and eating and having lunch and generally getting along really too, too well with her bitter, bitter ex, the equally gay and scrumptious Ryan Phillipe! (The father of her children! The WHORE!) An evil source reports:
“Reese and Ryan are trying to work it out. They are still close.”
But…but….butt….what about poor darling Jake? There’s been nary a word from his camp, as he’s been sucking my dick and finds it particularly difficult to comment on the situaion just now. Ahem.
Miss Witherspoon, you have incurred my terrible wrath. Despair!
She's harvesting the regenerated mana from [their] souls. This is why she's going back and forth. She is a witch. She must be k____d. Immediately.
Damn. Here comes the women and mother hating comments...
what about poor darling Jake? He will no doubt be drowning in an avalanch of pussy to take the sting off...
I'm still laughing...
PLEASE Adrian, She is trying to get Ryan involved in some MMF action! Reece probably gets off on gay guys scewing so you know....
Would love to see some Jake/Ryan action (Ryan Phillipe, not Adrian Ryan...sorry Adrian but I don't know what you look like...maybe you would look good sandwiched in-between?).
Hmmmmm... The three of them together... rawr! :D
Anyhoo... moving along now.
Adrian, let me get this straight: Reese has supposedly driven Jake Gyllenhaal into your crot--arms, and you're angry at her for it?
Jakey makes my teeth sweat. Amen.
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