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RSS icon Comments on Our Team Coverage of Testicle Festival Continues

1

i am not making funny, i am not kidding even one little: there is, right now, at this moment, little puke in the back of my throat, my skin is crawling away, and i want to cry more than a little. i am a vegetarian, officially and forever.....now.

Posted by adrian! | August 22, 2007 4:13 PM
2

Poor animals. As a vegetarian I am in favor of showing the grisly reality of where animal products come from whenever possible. (Cue angry meat-eaters)

Also, Keck clearly has repressed testicle-issues from childhood and should bring this issue up with his therapist.

Posted by Jude Fawley | August 22, 2007 4:18 PM
3

I credit vegetarianism for my FAILURE to be icked out by the balls shot. All meat is disgusting, and ignoring the ickiness of the balls was as easy as ignoring the ickiness of TV commercials featuring steak.

That said, thank God for Tim.

Posted by David Schmader | August 22, 2007 4:18 PM
4

Neither would be the right thing. The right thing to do is cover 50 pages with pictures of Matt Powers.

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 22, 2007 4:19 PM
5

Conversely, as an unrepentent omnivore, I completely agree with @ 2 & 3: if you're going to eat it, you darned well better understand exactly what it is you're eating.

Posted by COMTE | August 22, 2007 4:22 PM
6

People will do anything for attention. What will they eat next in order to freak the mundanes? Chicken beaks? Horse hooves?

Hey everybody!!! Look!!! I'm eating a testicle!!! See how original I am?!?

Posted by G | August 22, 2007 4:22 PM
7

Tim was, sadly, wrong.

@6: "Rocky Mountain Oysters" have been around a lot longer than hipsterism. Go read some history of bull worship/cults - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bull_%28mythology%29
to get an idea of what's behind this.

Posted by NaFun | August 22, 2007 4:33 PM
8

Dan,
Your son must be proud.

Posted by Does the NYT Op-Ed editor know about your profession? | August 22, 2007 4:35 PM
9

@6

I don't eat turkey necks and chicken hearts for attention or originality (What the fuck? Originality? For eating something obscure? Just shut the fuck up. Please.) I eat them because I think they taste damn good.

As for the balls (I've never tried them), I highly doubt anybody is eating them for attention and/or 'originality'. Assuming you're a vegetarian, or worse, vegan, you can suck my nuts if you think there is anything original about that.

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 22, 2007 4:39 PM
10

Dan has the decency to leave his son out of Slog. You should too.

Posted by The Op-Ed Editor of the NYT | August 22, 2007 4:44 PM
11

Keck made the wrong decision regarding the photo. I also support the editorial decision to go with the story. Maybe I missed it while reading the atricle, but I don't recall any discussion of the process of getting the sweetmeats--are they harvested from bulls that are being killed, or simply gelded? I know very little about ranching (best term I could come up with for the industry involving these), so please forgive me if it's a silly question. Did the "Test Fest" have a "you pick 'em, we cook 'em" corral, or what?

Posted by aerosol | August 22, 2007 4:47 PM
12

I think those cow balls are beautiful. Look at the size of 'em. The symmetry. I almost got kicked in the head trying to take that photo too. And kneeled on a cow chip.

It's not easy being me.

Posted by KELLY O | August 22, 2007 4:53 PM
13

while the points the vegitarians made above are quite valid, the eating of the balls is really not all that bad; in a "waste not" kind of way, yes the getting of them is kinda gruesome but if your going to take them off why toss them aside? I've had them (freshly removed) and cooked over an open fire on a stick(pretty good) and more often fried with scrambled eggs(better) and would bet they would be fine braised, or smoked tangine style.


-p.s. there is something wrong with that last picture(like it's human balls pasted onto a steer) in any case those are to dangly and would not be eaten(much to old and human looking)the mountain oysters are usually gotten from a much younger calf.

Posted by ballboy | August 22, 2007 4:55 PM
14

The composition on the lower pic is better. In the pic with the fried testicles, the rear midriffs of various people in the background is rather distracting.

Just my 2c.

Posted by jonny | August 22, 2007 5:49 PM
15

Both are wrong.

The first photo Keck picked is somewhat misleading. It could be anything. It looks like KFC. It could be batter-fried testicles. Or chicken, or potatoes or onions or pork rinds or... well, anything really. It looses any impact for a story about cooking testicles. It is almost irrelevant.

The second photo Schmader picked is a terrible photo, and Keck was correct to reject it. Even if it is real, it looks Photoshopped. It also looks pretty gross, and faintly ridiculous. Just because some idiot can snap a pic with a camera phone does not mean it is worthy of publication.

Surely someone somewhere could find a decent photo of testicles that are about ready to be harvested or cooked testicles that actually look something vaguely like testicles.

And, yeah, between the article and the photo(s), I'm having a sudden urge to switch to vegetarian. Ugh.

Posted by SDA in SEA | August 22, 2007 5:53 PM
16

Is that a picture of Cisco Adler?

Posted by scout | August 22, 2007 5:59 PM
17

jonny, you are right about the composition, that grey thing at the bottom left helps lead us into the picture and it doesn't cut off the pathway behind it completely, there is just a little strip to also lead us into the frame of reference of the balls in the forground, and the other cow silhouetted, classic!! ...and no i'm not being snarky, it really is a better picture.

-hipsterlite

Posted by hipsterlite | August 22, 2007 6:01 PM
18

Here is the story for all you hothouse city folks - from the real life experience from a former wrangler.

The balls are from older calves that you heard together every three or four months - spring, summer and fall.

You corral the herd, take all the bull calves one by one and castrate them, de horn them, and brand them, and vaccinate or medicate if needed. Hard work, but must do in the ranching business. And after a few times, you get very good at it, fast and skilled.

Using s small razor sharp knife, high grade pocket knife, you cut off the bottom of the scrotum and THEN pull the nuts out with your teeth - nice clean process, and put the calf testicles in a pan with salt water. The cut doggie heals quickly - some ranches will use a dusting of sulfa powder, but not most.

They (oysters) are pan fried, butter, or bacon fat, for dinner that evening, and eaten with relish by all.

Thus life goes on in rural work - all over the world. Fried nuts are a delicacy in all countries that raise cattle, as in New Zealand, Australia, and Argentina, Europe. etc.

This is not a Montana only thing - internationalism at its best.

Just tellin' you all.

Posted by Jake | August 22, 2007 6:12 PM
19

#15 - read the full article because it's excellent - and the first photo *looks like* batter-fried testicles, because it *is* batter-fried testicles. Hardly irrelevant. As far as "any idiot with a camera", I shot that photo with a $600 Canon EF 17-40 lens. I may be an idiot, but that's hardly a camera phone...

Posted by KELLY O | August 22, 2007 6:39 PM
20

"They (oysters) are pan fried, butter, or bacon fat, for dinner that evening, and eaten with relish by all."


what kind of relish? kosher, zucchini, triple pepper, Piccalilli, or would a Chimchurry of some sort work??

Posted by pedantic foodie | August 22, 2007 7:13 PM
21

Oh, Dan, you're killing me.
"Hey, look at testicles."
See those balls.
Balls, balls, balls.
Har-Har.
Balls.
Are you, like, 12?
What next, the publisher won't let us print stories about farting?
Grow up.

Posted by Stop, you're killing me | August 22, 2007 7:16 PM
22

ecce or ecce lover: just... stop...you are killing yourself with stupidity !

Posted by stop ecce | August 22, 2007 7:39 PM
23

@18, 20: i want to know more about the relish too

Posted by angela garbes | August 22, 2007 7:52 PM
24

Blech! Blechy blech blech. So gross. Ugh.

Posted by Michigan Matt | August 22, 2007 8:06 PM
25

@18 i just realized that maybe you mean they were relished by all, not literally eaten with relish...? also, if you're cutting the bottom the scrotum and pulling the nuts out, does that mean that the empty sack is left on the calf?

@20 i think that maybe mixed pickle, that intensely sour/spicy s asian condiment would be a good relish for balls

and ballboy @13, can you tell me more about the roasting on the stick? (i'm wondering about texture, specifically). and yeah, i think if i do it again braising might be the way to go...

Posted by angela garbes | August 22, 2007 8:15 PM
26

above -

Relish in the case of fried testicles means a home made pickle relish - but - yes, relish the eating is OK too ...

One leaves the scrotal sac in castration - you do not want a big hole on the underside of the calf, it heals into a knot of fatty tissue - sans testes - and as the steer, no longer a bull, matures - that fatty up to the body sac/bulge, is observed as a sign of good condition and health.

Pulling the testicles with teeth is standard among sheep herders as well and much easier. Lambs can be picked up easily. I do not remember any sheep testicle ever saved to eat - much smaller, farm dog fare on the spot.

Hope this helps you all.

Posted by Jake | August 22, 2007 9:02 PM
27

So on an completely unrelated note.... where can I rent Zoo?

Posted by DJSauvage | August 22, 2007 10:10 PM
28

Not only did Keck make the wrong decision - why the hell did he make it in the first place?

Isn't the selection of a photo in an issue of the paper generally up to the editor-in-chief to make at nearly the very last resort?

How often does a publisher step in on these things.

I mean - really?

Posted by Sam | August 22, 2007 10:45 PM
29

yo angela;
the thing about the balls cooked on a stick was about when I was so much younger and they were cooked over the branding iron fire. it was pretty much how jake said, with a few differences(probably due to region(i'm from southwest idaho)
in the middle of the day someone would bring out a sharpend stick and we would spit them, usually one of the older cowboys(the ones who did use their "teeth" on a few calves to show us how it used to be done, or how sheephearders did it) would have some salt/pepper...but anyhow with the other ones we'd throw a few to the dogs, and then put the rest in a salted water bucket(s) to be divided up at the end of the night(it usually went into the night)

....later on some ranchers went on to electric branding irons/squeeze chutes ehhh what ya gonna do??


brandings used to be an outing I was required to do, I'm neither proud nor ashamed, and the balls once pulled from the membrane are actually quite tasty.

Posted by ballboy | August 22, 2007 11:19 PM
30

balls on the boy - above

Call, I am over heated by memories of the branding fire - and late that night by remembering the good whiskey, bottle gulps, and then the genuine group suck off - still an old fashioned cowboy - and my take on balls is very expert - bring spurs, Stetson, and those red top socks, boots optional -- and -- some long soft leather strips -

JB

Posted by Jake | August 23, 2007 12:50 AM
31

I can't quit you Jake,
I can't quit you...

rowrr---
ballboy

Posted by ballboy | August 23, 2007 1:46 AM
32

@18: Wait, did you say TEETH?

Posted by Gloria | August 23, 2007 3:49 AM
33

Reply to above post -

Yes, yes, yes - you pull the testicle out by a bite of your teeth. The cord by which they are attached gives way and tears easily with a tug of the head

Quite sanitary and better than any other way to get a grip on the very slimy hard to handle slippery testicles.

Yeah, teeth. Primal and functional and sanitary - imagine dirty dysfunctional metal nippers in the dust and muss of the corral - infection time.

Go teeth. Good training for chewing nipples, too.

Posted by Jake | August 23, 2007 4:39 AM
34

I am not nearly so offended by the bovine apurtenances as by those paper plates. Surely after dealing with preparations, one could attempt more attractive service!

Posted by t | August 23, 2007 5:42 AM
35

Have to beat Amy Kate -

Above - appurtenances - the old double pp

Think pairs as in

Testicles

Posted by Stranger proofreader intern | August 23, 2007 9:17 AM
36

First, I want to thank Kelly O for doing such a great article. Second, to let her know that if she gets ahold of me for next year, I will have passes for her and her crew at the gate. Lastly, Focusing on the Oysters takes away from the feel of the fest. They taste great, its a tremendous party, and all have a great time.

Posted by Powers | August 23, 2007 12:48 PM
37

Am I the only one surprised that any picture or article is edited out of the Stranger because it's _too_ disgusting?

Speaking only for myself, I find the food section appealing precisely because it's one section of the paper that isn't always trying to top itself in a perpetual pube-o-rama gross-out contest (although
I did chuckle at "Offally Good" a few
months back).

Posted by butterw | August 23, 2007 1:28 PM
38

Just goes to prove what's always been my thesis: you can fry pretty much anything - snails, balls, dogshit, bark - in butter and garlic and make it edible.

Posted by Geni | August 23, 2007 4:08 PM
39

Vote for Tim on this one. It's not that I don't enjoy nibbling on some balls. I do like having balls in my mouth as long as they are attached to a hot guy with a raging hardon.

If the article had been in the features section of the paper - not the restaurnat section - then fine. It does not belong in a food section.

Good call Tim.

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40

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41

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