Comments on Because Everybody Knows "Wife" is Synonymous With "Maid."

are you really so desparate to make another feminist claim that you'll put all us guys in the dog house based on a quote BY A WOMAN? c'mon ECB, I assumed you were smarter than that...

Pretending to be Katty Ann Watson is funny, original, and downright iron-fisted!

Giiiiirrrrllll!

I don't get it - they finally use a gender neutral argument, and you berate them, asking them to go back to the misogynist wording so that . . . you can justify whatever has you feeling marginal today?

Why not hire a Mexican?

waa waa waa. maybe you shouldn't work 7 days a week, dipshit.

if you HAVE to, you have the wrong job.

Wow, this is sad. This woman has a spouse who could provide "spousal support". But doesn't. Because it still falls to her as the wife to do all of "those things around the house".

Believe it or not, some women love to stay at home, be their for their kids, and make a loving home for their hard working man to come home to and not start bitching at him the second he walks through the door.

Also sad is the fact that the article (or at least the headline) ignores that fact that instead of "getting a wife" (oh, how droll! a woman! getting a wife!), her husband could just pitch in and do half the work.

#8: So true. However, the man's salary would go down because he'd have more obligations at home.

The whole world of business is set up for the reality of the 1950s where the wife was generally at home and the husband was working and generally unavailable.

The entire system has to change for equality to happen. Men shouldn't be expecting their male employees to ignore their home life either.

I'm applying for jobs now and at least one of my informational interview contacts have asked me if I plan to have children and how that will hurt me in finding a job. I'm not sure if I will or not, but I know a man wouldn't have gotten that question.

As for the article using the term "wife" instead of 'domestic servent' well, I think wives are doing a lot more than just housework. They keep the family socially connected and basically serve as the administrative director for the home. Some women love this role. Others are exhausted by it.

So it isn't just menial work; it's all the other coordinating, holiday card writing, wedding RSVPing, gift buying, reunion-organizing, keeping up with family and in-laws, etc, etc, etc, she does.

Or they could both realize that when both partners

Argh, hit the wrong button. Then #9 said what I was gonna say anyway.

Erica,
Who gave you a job as a journalist? They, and you, should be fired.

I've debated about posting this, because I suspect some of you will want to roast me on a spit for some of my comments. But I can't resist:

ECB, you're objecting to the verbal correlation made between the word "wife" and a person whose job it is to handle the non-wealth generating work of household chores, daily errands, dealing with kids, etc. But she's not saying that women are the ones who necessarily should do that work. Any reasonable person understands that the word "wife" is used here merely as shorthand to describe anyone, male or female, that does the non-professional work. It's cheeky and not PC, but it doesn't herald some kind of return to the 1950s, nor does it mean she's some kind of unliberated buffoon.

Besides, you're clearly not one to point fingers: You make a similarly offensive and annoying verbal correlation when you equate a person who performs these tasks as a "servant." In 2007, I don't think that's really accurate, or fair.

Neither non-professional (family/home) nor professional (wealth-generating) work is inherently more rewarding than the other, despite what you seem to think. It doesn't make the person oriented around housework a servant. A woman (or a man) voluntarily handling the non-professional tasks of life so that a couple might more efficiently get through their tasklist is not some kind of indentured servitude.

You're missing (or ignoring) the point of the article, which is that double-income working families are having problems finding time to handle the important and necessary household chores. Yes, there was a time when women were performing those tasks because they weren't given a choice in the matter. But really, the quote is just a shorthand way of saying this: "Now that women are able to be professionals and accepted in the workplace, there's nobody left to stay home."

In that context, it's perfectly reasonable for anyone to miss the days when there were defined societal roles (and economic conditions that made a single-income family more viable) in place that helped us divide up the non-professional and professional work. I'm not saying it was right to deny women the opportunity to be professionals. That's clearly ridiculous and sexist. But when you're a modern couple juggling laundry, day care/school, shopping, etc, along with your dual work lives, suddenly the 1950s seem like paradise. You might find that distasteful, but there's no denying there are lots of people out there struggling.

Another way of saying it: Being progressive doesn't mean you have to deny that progress can be problematic.

Actually, my husband and I really want a twink. We want a cute young guy to come in and do the cooking and housework, rub our tired feet, draw our baths, and perform conjugal duties on request.

Any takers? (It'd be nice if he liked gardening too - both of us hate doing the yardwork even more than the housework.)

Maids take the bus Erica so if you're thinking about matrimony you had best pick up that Metro route guide!

It's kinda funny considering all the domestically challanged women I know in their 20's right now.

My girlfriend can cook up a storm, but wont touch a dish, a mop, a broom, or anything.

And every girlfriend I've hasnt had any sort of domestic interest or skill to speak of.

I'd much prefer it if I could support my future wife while she cares to domestic stuff, but it has to be something she wants to do too. I value a homecooked meal that much.

And really, what all this is pointing to is that we need to allow for a wider definition of family than two adults. We need co-habitating urban tribes...

You're so wrong about wife=unpaid domestic. My husband does the housework when I don't feel like it, & vice versa. Nothing pisses me off more than when other people try to tell me I'm something that I'm not. Clearly, the only wife I can speak for is myself, but I'm fairly sure my other married friends would back me up on this.

Whoops- I just re-read what you wrote, and it looks like I did misunderstand what you were saying. I still disagree with you though. Their argument for a "wife" was worded retardedly, but that doesn't change the issue at hand. I get your point that it shows how people think, but do you really expect most people to be that intelligent? If you do, don't read the PI!

Uh, whenever I talk about how I could use "a wife" (I'm a woman), it's always with with the sexism of the notion expressly in mind. Are we really arguing that these women are talking about wanting "wives" are accepting the sexist definition whole hog, in spite of the fact that they're not living out those stereotypes themselves?

Bizarre complaint here. I guess I'd better go read the article and see if it seems evenly remotely possible that these women are using the word in full seriousness.

OK, read the article. This Slog post is the height of idiocy. I guess the article should have gone to great lengths to make it expressly clear that the women talking about wanting "wives" are doing so in a self-aware manner that recognizes the unfortunate reality of the traditional wifely role. I just took that for granted given the fact that none of these women sound like FREAKING IDIOTS.

Here's a translation of Lustbader's quoted comment, for the irony-impaired (which seems to be everyone except leek):

"Golly, if I, as a wife, have to work a full-time+ job and then come home and do a disproportionate amount of housework [which working women do], lemme get rid of this useless husband and get another one of me!"

The mark is bleedingly obviously a toungue-in-cheek jab at men who do not pull their weight around the house. That is, it's a feminist message conveyed through humor. Jeez, people.

What I don't understand is why someone (either sex) who works that much even considers doing more then half the work? Why? If I had to work that much and came home to a spouse who didn't do their fair share I sure as shit wouldn't pick up the slack. If he/she won't make dinner then I'm not making them dinner. If he/she won't do laundry then I would only do my own laundry. It would never occur to my husband that I would do his shit for him if he refused to do it for himself. Eventually, the man/woman runs out of underwear and figures out the deal.

Obviously kids don't work out this way. But even then, if you're someone who doesn't get taken advantage of, maybe your spouse helps you teach your kids to participate in the family and not sponge off it.

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