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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Angie and the Man-Wo’; Dykier Days, Remembered!

posted by on August 14 at 10:30 AM

In this strange today of compulsive mommyhood and Goodwill Ambassadoressing, as she drags her endlessly expanding orphan collection from one Bono-related country to the next, I believe that it is crucial that we all, as a nation, pause to consider, to reflect, to remember, and to think about in general the bolder, fierier Angelina Jolie of yesterday; that blade-wielding succubus, that brother-Frenching paradox, that polishing-Billy-Bob’s-knob-in-the-Porche-on-the-way-to-the-Oscars-ing, water-bed-lipped dominatrix who’d jam a pen in her neck before she’d let her friend Winona Ryder (remember her?) get in hot water with mean nurse Whoopie Goldberg. The old Angelina. The fierce and ferocious pre-Brad goddess. Even I fell under the dark power of her throbbing sexual heat, and I’ve got a dick in my mouth as we speak.

So then. To help us remember the Angie of yore, this brave and lovely Asian man-wo’ (pictured below) has stepped forward to share his-and/or-her Jolie-related insights. Allegedly, he-and/or-she dyked-out hardcore with Angelina on a regular basis in the mid 90’s, way before Angie destroyed Jennifer Aniston and started boffing The Brad. This is what she-and/or-he tells us:

“Angelina is an unbelievable lesbian lover. That’s where she gets her kicks — not playing happy family with one man. She loves danger and dabbling in the dark side. Angelina loves women too much. It’s like a drug and she was hooked.”

Angelina Jolie, hooked on dangerous lesbian sex? Lucky, lucky Brad! (I’m guessing here.)

Winona Ryder, of course, could not be reached for comment. As usual.

angie1.jpg

RSS icon Comments

1

A million dollars to whomever can show me the raw footage.

Posted by Carollani | August 14, 2007 10:50 AM
2

What is Man-wo' supposed to mean? Jenny Shimizu is hot, google image her.

Posted by me | August 14, 2007 10:50 AM
3

Now all we need is George Clooney to dish on his ongoing thingy with Brad and the picture will be complete.

Posted by Cat in Chicago | August 14, 2007 10:51 AM
4

George topped Brad's virgin ass, while Angie taped. Word. I've seen it.

But then they had to kill me.

Posted by ghost of UNPAID BLOGGER! | August 14, 2007 10:58 AM
5

Gia!

Posted by Mr. Poe | August 14, 2007 11:01 AM
6

I do not buy it. I think she embellished a couple of nip licks for publicity reasons.

Posted by Miss Stereo | August 14, 2007 11:06 AM
7

Remember, lesbians think cuddling is sex.

Posted by monkey | August 14, 2007 11:10 AM
8

I think that is Jenny Shimizu. She's a model.

Posted by la | August 14, 2007 11:40 AM
9

mmmmm.....cuddling

Posted by lesbians | August 14, 2007 11:42 AM
10

Didn't anyone see Foxfire (1996)??!! Come on, people. Angie AND Jenny. And while there's not a lot of cuddling, per se, there ARE some boobs and "touching".

Posted by lesbians | August 14, 2007 11:46 AM
11

shes so hot to some people because she's a dyke. period. a lot of lesbian women would say any dyke is hot if she gave lesbians good publicity. (and looking at the list of hot lesbians from that one site)

in fact theres a few self identified straight women that find androgyny hot for whatever reason.

either way im calling bullshit on her being hot. to be hot one should make either sex who is attracted to that gender swoon.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | August 14, 2007 11:54 AM
12

that asian guy looks like a gap ad. i wonder if he met angelina at a gap store opening.

Posted by brad | August 14, 2007 12:04 PM

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