Vegetarians: outsource your meat eating. Venus fly traps can go vegan, if with a shortened and miserable life.

Hybrid drivers: stop duping yourselves and others. Hybrids are no more environmentally friendly than a small regular car, and maybe even a bit worse. Want to be sanctimonious? Ride a bike.

Bus riders: time does slow down when you’re on the bus — provided you’re traveling above about a tenth of the speed of light. Thanks Hendrik!

Pot smokers: yes, you might have “psychotic symptoms”, like hallucination, disorganized thoughts, agitation, or aggression. Pot might make you crazy, or you might just be high. Science isn’t overly concerned.

Have a question on stem cells, epigenetics, transplant biology or gene therapy? Put it in the comments and I’ll answer it within a day, or your money back. Or send your questions to DearScience@thestranger.com.

Maria, it’s not that the player who defeated you, the reigning champ of the United States Open, is 28 positions below you:
That is not what is wrong. What is wrong is that she has less than 28 percent of your beauty.

Maria, your loss to this person of so-so looks shamed your imperial beauty.

Arts Blowout

Bumbershoot at Seattle Center

• See what else is happening in Music on Saturday »

Art

‘Back of the Line’ at Platform Gallery

• See what else is happening in Art on Saturday »

But why? D. Parvaz and Cathy Sorbo are the best op-ed columnists the PI’s got. Here’s Parvaz on Sen. Larry Craig…

Craig maintains that the guilty plea was a “mistake.” He was under pressure. He was being “hounded” by the press. You know how it is.

Okay, you might not, but there’s a bunch of Republicans who do. Forget about all the other scandals—Scooter Libby’s indictment, or the coke-dealing Thomas Ravenel, the South Carolina chairman for Rudy Giuliani’s presidential campaign. Focusing on the sex scandals alone offers plenty of fodder. Let’s see…

In July, Florida State Rep. Bob Allen was busted propositioning an undercover male cop in a park bathroom. He offered the officer $20 for oral sex.

But Allen also says he’s not guilty and that that he’s not gay. No, he’s not denying that he propositioned the cop, and he’s not saying that he was misunderstood when he made the offer. He says he did it because he was afraid the black cop would hurt him.

“This was a pretty stocky black guy, and there was nothing but other black guys around in the park,” Allen said, in describing the officer who approached him. Allen, who was also the co-chairman of Sen. John McCain’s campaign, said that he went along with it because he feared that if he didn’t offer to perform oral sex on the stranger, he “was about to be a statistic.”

Well, that’s the normal response any of us would have when we find ourselves (irrationally) intimidated by a stranger, right?

Good stuff—so why does the PI hide Parvaz to the little-read Saturday paper? Because she’s under 60? Because she can be outraged and funny at the same time? Why are full-of-shit, full-of-themselves gasbags like Robert Jameison and Joel Connelly given so much prime real estate while Parvaz and Sorbo—who has really grown as a columnist—are buried in Saturday’s paper, in an op-ed section patronizingly dubbed “Saturday Spin”? Because they’re ladies?

Connelly is a grouchy has-been, PI, and Jamieson is an affected dope. Parvaz is star—and the PI should start treating her like one.

Today, Slog readers asked me to collect unwanted phone books and return them to Qwest Dex headquarters.

As Dan noted in his review of Dex for The Stranger’s Summer Reading Guide, phone books have become obsolete to the average computer-owning citizen and they are a huge waste of paper. Instead of recycling them individually, readers figured, it might make a bolder statement if they were delivered to Dex Headquarters, along with a “thanks, but no thanks” card.

I tried to think of a central location where we could gather all those books. I went to the Value Village store on Capitol Hill (1525 11th Ave) and asked manager Mark Adams if we could corner off an area of the store where people could drop off their unwanted phonebooks. He told me “no” but offered a place outside the store (where, I later learned, homeless people often sleep). Naive to the politics of homeless sleeping areas, I accepted Adams’ offer and he led me downstairs to Value Village’s receiving area and we snatched up an enormous cardboard box.

A nice man hoisted the box above his head and we walked up the alley to 11th together. As we walked, pedestrias had to duck so that the cardboard wouldn’t hit them in the face. After enduring numerous interruptions by homeless people (one of whom insisted on doing an impression of Bill Cosby with a box of Jello), I was finally able to set up the box.

The box is now waiting for your phonebooks. Drop them off and I will drive them to Qwest and drop them off on their doorstep.

Oh and stop by Value Village while you’re in the area…they’re having a huge labor day sale.

Steven Blum
Public Intern

Craig is leaving the Senate at the end of the month.

With his wife at his side and [Idaho governor] Otter standing behind him, Craig said, “It is with sadness and deep regret that I announce it is my intention to resign from the Senate effective Sept. 30.”

Craig said pursing his legal options while serving as a senator would distract from the business of Idaho.

“What is best of Idaho has always been the focus of my efforts,” he said.

Responding to reports of the last week, he said only: “I have no control over what people choose to believe.”

All I wanted was to come home from work and take off my shoes and relax for a second. It’s stopped raining. It’s kinda nice out. It’s a busy corner, yeah, but the noises are kind of nice once you get used to them, all squeaks and hisses. But here you are again, you goddamn people.

There will be no relaxing this evening because you have decided that the people on Broadway are, I dunno, Bush supporters or something. All those Bush supporters skulking around Broadway on a Friday night after work. You two holding up that handpainted sign? With that explosion (or is that a clump of French fries?) there in the middle? Good work guys. And you with the megaphone? Who just said, “The world awaits, the future beckons, wear orange, drive out the Bush regime!”

Come again? Orange? Wow. Orange. That’s your solution. We should all wear orange. Good thinking! Because everyone looks good in orange? Or because that will somehow help with impeachment proceedings? Because, I dunno, peaches are orange? You other three without a sign or a megaphone to hold, with orange bandanas across your foreheads? Oooh, don’t impeach me! And you fourth and last guy wearing your bandana around your neck? Rebel!

I tried to think of the most relaxing music I could think of, and naturally Belle & Sebastian came to me, and in these circumstances one would have to start with “Get Me Away from Here I’m Dying,” which I currently have on full blast, and I’m sitting two feet from the speakers, because—well, let’s see, if I turn off the music for a second—

If only 2% of people who wanted him impeached would wear orange, that would literally represent millions and millions of people!

Did you really just say that? Uh, that wouldn’t literally represent millions of people, it would literally be millions of people, given the U.S. population. But anyway I still don’t understand how orange is going to—

Wear orange today if you think that torture is wrong. If you think it’s wrong to have simulated drownings and to hook up batteries to genitals. If you think it’s wrong to be killing civilians in Iraq you should stand up and wear orange with us.

Why do we have to stand up? Can’t we just take a nap? As for this orange obsession, don’t get me wrong, I love orange juice. I love oranges. I love the color orange. It was my class color in high school. We used to invade assemblies with orange traffic cones, orange basketballs, orange-painted hair. I mean, I didn’t, the cool kids did, I had no friends, if I’d worn orange I would have been kicked to death. But I wanted to be friends with the people wearing orange. I like orange a lot. I love pumpkins—

I’m wearing orange today because I don’t want this future! I want a different future! Not the one that Bush is putting into place today! I’m wearing orange today because…

Is this actually happening? Is she—it’s a girl now on the megaphone—is she actually giving a speech the rhetorical structure of which is the refrain “I’m wearing orange today because…”? She is. She fucking is. “I’m wearing orange today because… I’m wearing orange today because…” Incredible. Do tell us, why are you wearing orange today?

Futher inspection of the sign—music’s back on—leads me to this realization: it is not an explosion or a bag of French fries depicted there in the center, it is the earth with a giant happy burst of orange coming off the side. Sort of like the biggest pot of gold ever. It is radiating from the earth. It must be all those people wearing orange you’re talking about! Like all six of you! Banded together there! In the half dark! With the loudest, most unpeaceful amplification instrument you could find! Really rattling the rest of us out of our deep complacency, our adiding love for Bush, really turning minds upside down out here in this well-known Republican enclave, the corner of Broadway and John. You were here last Friday too. Are you and your orange flyers going to be here every Friday for the rest of time?

Let’s turn off the music just once more and see—

C’mon, get some orange, donate money…

Oh my fucking god I hate you people. You’re never going to shut up, are you? Can any friends of mine who have BB guns come over right now? Or maybe really loud speakers that we could hook up to my laptop? Or fireworks and some kind of aiming device?

We’re not going to take this and we’re going to stop it right now!

BY WEARING ORANGE?!

This sign:

…is no longer there. Most of the building had come down when I walked past Seventh and Madison this afternoon.

Coming soon: another office tower. The ghost signs of Seattle are fewer and fewer.

Photo via Creative Commons.

I’m not gonna move up my whole “Seattle 2007: Condos. Panhandling. Shit.” post.

Here at Slog, we’ve learned to sigh about the fact that—as Mudede puts it, “Writing on Slog is like writing on running water.”

But there is an update. I heard back from Tim Harris & there’s a rambunctious thread going on for a Friday.

Happy Labor Day Weekend.

That’s what I think, anyway.

As Josh notes below, I didn’t cover the hearing on the Sierra Club’s court challenge against the makeup of the anti-roads and transit committee, which will write the “con” statement for this November’s voting guide.

While I didn’t go to the hearing, I did talk with Sierra Club political director Mike O’Brien immediately after the ruling. He told me that although “we lost our motion” asserting that Sound Transit didn’t have the authority to choose the entire con committee this morning, there’s still a chance the judge could rule that anti-roads views should be incorporated into the “no” voters’ guide statement. (Currently, the entire Sound Transit-chosen committee consists of anti-transit activists whose message will go over poorly and may even help the measure in pro-transit King County.) “The problem with the hearing today is that Sound Transit still gets to pick the opposition,” O’Brien said. As for getting an anti-roads message into a “con” statement written by an anti-transit-dominated committee, O’Brien said, “I’m not optimistic.” Neither am I, but I hope, in the interest of fairly representing all points of view opposed to the measure, that they do.

Meanwhile, on another front, two challenges to the ballot title are moving forward—one in King County Municipal Court, and one in front of the state Supreme Court. The challenges allege that the ballot title violates the single-subject rule at the county and state level, respectively. However, at this late date (the ballot and voters guide go the printer on September 17) it seems unlikely that the judges will choose to derail the entire proposal.

To all the commenters on yesterday’s post about not wanting phone books and getting them anyway: you’re so right. It’s bullshit. The terrorists—the Yellow Pages people—are winning. Look at this monument to the old way of doing things in the lobby of my apartment building, as of a couple hours ago. Someone should case these things in adobe and make houses out of them for all the homeless left in a lurch in this summer rain. Homeless people, of course, don’t have the internet.

The first commenter on that crazy post yesterday starring the phone book executive said: “My main complaint with the drop off of the phone books…why don’t they ask if I actually WANT one?… They’d save a lot of money (not to mention the environmental impact) if they would ask if you wanted the damn things first.”

The 26th commenter said: “Get the public intern on this! There’s probably two dozen phone books in my apartment lobby that have been sitting there for 3+ weeks. Can he dump them at the Verizon/Dex/MaBell door for me?”

The 29th commenter said: “Can we all just deliver our extra phone books to the Stranger offices and then the Public Intern can deliver them all together to the Qwest building next to Pacific Place on Pine? I belive Dex is on the 16th floor.”

By the 49th commenter it was practically a protest chant: “Public! Intern! Public! Intern!”

I am happy to report that our public intern has taken up the call and will soon be reporting here on Slog the procedure for dropping off your phone books so he can deliver them back to the doorsteps of the phone companies. Praise Jesus!

Almost forgetting for the moment all thoughts of Moby Dick, we now gazed at the most wondrous phenomenon which the secret seas have hitherto revealed to mankind. A vast pulpy mass, furlongs in length and breadth, of a glancing cream-colour, lay floating on the water, innumerable long arms radiating from its centre, and curling and twisting like a nest of anacondas, as if blindly to clutch at any hapless object within reach. No perceptible face or front did it have; no conceivable token of either sensation or instinct; but undulated there on the billows, an unearthly, formless, chance-like apparition of life.

As with a low sucking sound it slowly disappeared again, Starbuck still gazing at the agitated waters where it had sunk, with a wild voice exclaimed—“Almost rather had I seen Moby Dick and fought him, than to have seen thee, thou white ghost!”

“What was it, Sir?” said Flask.

“The great live squid, which, they say, few whale-ships ever beheld, and returned to their ports to tell of it.”

Says MSNBC.

Bumbershoot!: Fergie pees. As if you didn’t already know.

Not Bumbershoot.: Best Song Ever (This Week) is “Big River.”

Bumbershoot!: Listen to our official Bumbershoot podcast.

Not Bumbershoot.: “Jan Pehechaan Ho” never gets old.

Bumbershoot!: Zwickel loves the Avetts.

Not Bumbershoot.: Mudede revisits to Dubtech.

Environmentalists who oppose this November’s $17.5 billion roads and transit package (they think the roads portion cancels out the benefits of the transit portion), took Sound Transit to court this morning arguing that Sound Transit (cleverly) picked a cuckoo road warrior, Kemper Freeman, to write the Nay statement in the voters’ pamphlet. They believe that his message—strictly anti-transit—will turn off liberal King County voters.

Meanwhile, (environmentalists worry) liberal voters won’t hear the complaints from the left about the $6.9 billion roads portion of the package—and how it would impact the environment.

Erica covered this in a recent column, writing:

The Sierra Club is opposing the joint roads/transit measure on the ballot in November. (The Sierra Club supports Sound Transit, but says its environmental benefits are canceled out by the $6.9 billion roads package to which it is linked.) Last week, the Club sought—unsuccessfully—to get its anti-roads argument included in King County’s voter guide. Sound Transit handpicked the committee that will write the opposition statement; predictably, it includes only light-rail opponents whose message (unlike the Sierra Club’s anti-roads rap) will be poorly received in pro-transit King County.

Erica didn’t cover the hearing this morning, sighing: “They’re going to lose.”

But, they did not! At least not yet. The KC Superior Court judge saw the logic of the Sierra Club’s arguments this morning and has asked for a further hearing.

Says the Sierra Club’s Mike O’Brien:

“We are pleased that the judge is prepared to address our primary concern: the “no” committee only represents an anti-transit viewpoint, with no mention of the opposition to the highway portion of the bill,” said Mike O’Brien, Chair of the Sierra Club’s Cascade Chapter. “We believe the voters that are being asked to pass the largest tax increase in history should know that they will be funding projects that can make global warming worse, not better.”

I’ve linked the Citizens Against RTID press release below

Continue reading "Sierra Club Case Against Roads/Transit Package Moves Forward" »

In response to Charles Mudede’s recent article on Stanley Kubrick:

MUDEDE: How dare you—you sad, pathetic excuse for a human being. Not only was your recent article on Kubrick a slap in the face of cinema—it was a cruel and spiteful insult to the surviving family of Stanley Kubrick. Worse still is that your understanding of Kubrick is more a reflection of yourself than his work. You think Kubrick hated people? No, he understood them. There is a difference. How sad for you to have missed it.

Roger Avary

My new favorite word is “vexatious,” which I learned reading about a 9th Circuit ruling today. The Court nailed an ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) activist for his “vexatious” lawsuits.

Vexatious means annoying (or intending to annoy)—and the plaintiff was a serial litigant who filed pre-fab lawsuits against restaurants and other public facilities that failed to accommodate him. (He uses a wheelchair.)

Decision of the Day writes:

The Ninth Circuit has upheld a district court order declaring a crusader for disabled access to be a vexatious litigation … The defendants in this case - the Mandarin Touch Restaurant in Solvang - didn’t want to wait around for a jury to rule on Molski’s claims. Instead, it fought back by asking the district court to sanction Molski and his law firm as vexatious litigants. After surveying Molksi’s history of lawsuits, the district court obliged. Among other things, the district court found that Molski files identical complaints, all the way down to the typos, each alleging that he hurt his arm while trying to exit a too-narrow bathroom. Moreover, Molski hurts his arm this way several times a day, as thirteen of his complaints span the same five-day period. Molski also waits for a year before filing his complaints, so that his claimed damages of $4000 a day have already multiplied to over a million dollars before the case begins.

Idaho’s other senator is named Mike Crapo? How do you get elected with a name like Crapo?

I wonder what it might be…

Sen. Larry Craig plans to make an announcement Saturday about his future.

“We haven’t quite scheduled anything, but we’re looking at doing something tomorrow,” said Craig’s spokesman Sid Smith. “We haven’t set a time or place yet.”

The Final Days of Summer: Gentle breezes, warm nights, and the roar of helicopters over quiet mountain communities in Eastern Washington. It’s harvest time. Local police departments team up with the DEA and National Guard in the sky to identify marijuana by its telltale hue, yielding tens of thousands of pot plants and hundreds of arrests. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel, really—pot is Washington’s second-largest cash crop, after apples.

Despite seemingly enormous returns, the helicopter strafes are mostly an air show. Nary a dent is made in the pot market, as Dan points out. Pot is still readily available; it’s still the same price; and it still hands hefty fourth-quarter profits to the Zip-Loc Corporation.

A report earlier this year estimated Washington annually produces about $1 billion worth of marijuana (it’s the nation’s top cash crop at just over $35 billion). A huge bust outside Yakima yesterday yielded 6,500 marijuana plants, worth a purported $9,750,000—even if each plant fetched an unrealistic $1,500, the impressive haul represents less than one percent of Washington’s untaxed pot crop.

The Drug Czar contends the work is an essential component of national security. Late last month he marched reporters through the woods of Northern California, attempting to reverse the nation’s blasé “reefer blindness.” Marijuana growers are “violent criminal terrorists” who wouldn’t hesitate to help other terrorists get into the country with the aim of causing mass casualties, he told them.

Although mainstream media outlets are staffed with critical thinkers on virtually every other issue, most reporters can’t resist the fervor when it comes to these heroic eradication efforts. Drug busts are part of the crime beat, see, and these here pot growers are criminals, see. That’s the story. No mention is made of the cost of conducting the busts or the collateral expenses, such as rescuing a bunch of officers trapped in the Columbia River Gorge earlier this month. No mention of the poor saps who get sent up the river. So, without a peep about the busts’ futility, another annual cycle of articles crop up here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. What tools.

Denver’s Mayor and Four Councilmembers Inhaled: But what about Greg Nickels? Jan Drago and Jean Godden…?

Jail Bird Seed: Japanese authorities struggle to eradicate pot plants from penitentiary grounds.

Bees That Has Honey in Their Mooths Has Stings in Their Tails: All-time high for Scotland drug overdose deaths.

White Lightning Is No Longer the Biggest Thrill of All: They got a meth lab in Muskogee.

Powder Reversal: Cocaine out of vogue for educated; uneducated are now the blowhards.

In Pakaderm Junkie News: Heroin-addicted elephant released to jungle.

Let Pictures Do the Talking: UK to issue graphic cigarette warning labels.

Tim Harris, the executive director of Real Change, has a post on his personal blog that does a great job of capturing the zeitgeist in Seattle right now.

He’s got a summary of all the glitzy condo development that’s going on downtown—The Escala, the Cristalla, the Four Seasons, 1521 Second Ave.—quipping, “It’ll be sort of like New York. But without the diversity or the people.” Then he talks about that in the context of (as he posits) a coming war on poor people.

Harris writes:

Some things we know. The DSA will drive toward the criminalization of panhandling, the elimination of outdoor feeding, and the removal of public toilets. While the political will for such steps does not yet exist, they’re working on it.

I’ve got a call into Harris to see if he’s got a beat on any legislation that the DSA (Downtown Seattle Association) is pushing at City Hall. However, I talked to the DSA’s council lobbyist, Ryan Bayne, and he says he’s not working on panhandling or outdoor feeding issues.

As for outdoor toilets, Bayne says the DSA has always been against the public toilets. “We were against them when they went in. I don’t think anybody would argue that those have been a success.”

DSA stats compiled by their downtown patrol—they clean up shit from the street, among other downtown ambassador duties—has actually found that human waste collection on the streets has gone up since the toilets went in. “Now, obviously I’m not saying the toilets have increased waste on the streets, but they’re obviously not being used for their intended purpose,” Bayne says. “They’re a haven to shoot up. A great place to shoot up.”

Bayne thinks maybe Harris is talking about DSA’s “Have a Heart/Give Smart” campaign, which encourages downtown employees and tourists to donate to homeless service organizations rather than give money directly to panhandlers.

“Sounds a lot like Real Change,” Bayne himself quips. Here’s a PI article on the program, including a quote from Harris, characterizing the program as a “war on the poor.”

According to the Puget Sound Business Journal, City Attorney Tom Carr is thinking about regulating panhandling. I can’t seem to link to the PSBJ article, but Harris quotes from it in another recent post from his blog:

Other cities have taken more extreme measures. This year Tacoma made it a misdemeanor to panhandle in certain places—near ATMs, bus stops, building entrances, and other public areas. The city also outlaws panhandling before sunrise and after sunset.

Seattle City Attorney Tom Carr said people have a constitutional right to beg on city streets. But [Carr also said] establishing time, place, and manner restrictions—as Tacoma did—is a way to protect free speech while combating undesirable behaviors.”

I respect Harris and Real Change. I don’t know Harris well, but I’ve read his editorials and followed his activism over the years. He is neither dogmatic nor orthodox. He’s loaded with common sense, nuanced analysis, and endless dedication. I also like the DSA a bit more than I used to—mainly because I thought their Director, Kate Joncas, provided a smart challenge to Mayor Nickels’s nightlife clampdown. (Although, I think their anti-union rap regarding downtown hotels is off base.)

This is all to say, as 2007 has blossomed into the year that Seattle is actually and finally wrestling with the issues that have been germinating for much of the decade—our transition into a bigger city—I think the scrap between Harris and DSA is one to watch.

UPDATE:
Harris got in touch to let me know he’s at home sick, but also to tell me that he’s not aware of any specific legislation that’s pending. However, he recognizes a pattern. He says DSA first announces its “Have a Heart—Give Smart” campaign—a good faith effort to deal with panhandling—bet then a few months later DSA comes out to say panhandling is increasing dramatically, 38%. Harris, it seems, is implying that the DSA is cynically setting the stage to play hard ball after first making a show of trying to deal more humanely with the problem.

He could be onto something. Although, Harris himself was part of the original show. He was quoted in the original DSA press release about the “Give Smart” campaign.

From the January ‘07 DSA press release:

The brochure also suggests alternatives to giving to panhandlers such as purchasing a Real Change newspaper or donating to charitable organizations. “Giving to panhandlers is like scratching an itch that always comes back,” says Real Change Director Tim Harris. “It feels good, but it doesn’t really change much. We should all feel called to do more.”

In an editorial today, the Seattle Times urged Sen. Larry “Wide Stance” Craig (R-Idablow) to resign. The Seattle Times has a pretty sterling reputation when it comes to gay issues—rabidly and reliably pro-gay marriage, for starters—and the paper goes out of its way to let readers know that their call for Craig’s resignation has nothing to do with the senator’s gayness or not-gayness.

Craig is not guilty of being gay. Or of being deceitful or in denial about his sexuality. The senator had a choice, and decided to put the dignity and privilege of his high office at risk in the pursuit of sex in a very public setting.

The official charge is misdemeanor disorderly conduct, but he is truly guilty of felonious stupidity and arrogance….

Human frailties are magnified in the harsh light of a life served in front of and on behalf of the public. Second chances are extended, but there are limits. The surreal notion of a U.S. senator trolling for sexual gratification in an airport restroom crosses that boundary.

So for the Seattle Times the issue seems to be location, location, location. If Sen. Craig—a “family values” crusader, a foe of same-sex marriage, a supporter of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell”—was caught having gay sex in a hotel room… then it would’ve been alright, despite the hypocrisy? It wasn’t the sex, but where he was trolling for sex?

And what of Louisiana’s David Vitter? Or “Vitter the Shitter,” as this tarnished “family values” crusader is known among professional sex workers in New Orleans. Vitter admitted to sexual “sin,” or hiring hookers, and claims that his wife and God have forgiven him. And so have his colleagues in the GOP—the same folks that are demanding Craig step down gave Vitter a pass. Craig’s conduct is “unforgivable,” says Sen. Mitch McConnell. The Seattle Times would seem to agree to with McConnell—and unless there’s an editorial coming soon calling for Vitter to resign, then the Seattle Times call for Craig’s resignation would seem to have everything to do with his gayness.

Unless the Seattle Times thinks that paying a hooker to put you in diapers is somehow more dignified than trolling for sex in an airport toilet.

Have you seen this one yet?! Hoo wee - it’s a little long, but oh so good. Capitol Hillbillies take note…

Lawd have mercy:

If Senator Larry E. Craig yields to calls for his resignation amid allegations that he solicited sex in an airport bathroom, his successor would be chosen by a fellow Republican who once entered a tight-jeans contest — and won.

Gov. C. L. Otter, known as Butch, was lieutenant governor when he won the “Mr. Tight Jeans” contest at the Rockin’ Rodeo bar here in the state capital in July 1992. A few days later he was arrested, and eventually convicted, for driving under the influence of alcohol.

Launching next week?

When will Conrad’s echo (curse) end?

Mystery DR Congo fever kills 60

More than 60 people have died because of a fever epidemic in the centre of the Democratic Republic of the Congo, health officials say.

Many of the victims are people who have been in contact with the deceased, including medical staff, and who lack equipment to deal with the illness.

The latest victim was a nurse at a local hospital. She died on Thursday after taking care of infected patients.

OK, normally I do not believe in jinxes. I think superstitions are bad luck.

But the Mariners’ current losing streak, taking them out of first in the Wild Card and backing them away from the Angels in the West, has precisely coincided with my visit to Seattle. And I’m leaving town tomorrow, so expect the Mariners to start winning.

And the post-season is still a distinct possibility. There’s the series against the Yankees next week, which will be key—but also remember that the Yankees don’t want the Wild Card: they want the East, and if Boston folds, they would almost have to fall past the M’s to let the Yankees get what they consider their due.

Continue reading "Heimlich Maneuver time for the M's" »

Daly’s Drive-In—which has the best view of any burger joint in town—may be closing. According to a Daly’s staff member, the lot which Daly’s has occupied since 1962 was recently purchased by a developer, who plans to turn the property into an office building.

Daly’s lease is up in January and the owners haven’t decided whether they’ll relocate.

Unfortunately, their location is part of the charm, as they’re right on Eastlake and it more or less overlooks the water. At least I think it does. I haven’t been there in awhile.

Years ago, I got dragged to Daly’s (which isn’t actually a drive-in) by a friend who swore up and down that they had the best fish and chips in Seattle. They don’t, but they’re still pretty good and I’ve gone back a few times since. I’m a big fan of the Daly Double. It’s delicious, but my heart hurts a little bit just from thinking about it.

Photo via Robotic Gourmand

A “Savage Love” reader somewhere in the Pacific Northwest sent me this question….

Concerning MFF threesomes: How many straight women regret them? How many straight women had an excellent time? We read a lot about straight men and their desire to have MFF threesomes, and often about the details of setting one up, but what about the fallout? The aftermath?

I ask because I have been casually dating/fucking an acquaintance for the past few weeks, and I just found out his ex-girlfriend is going to be visiting from New Zealand for a little while. He suggested (of course) that we all get to know each other a little better. I will admit that it is intriguing. I’ve always wanted to fool around with another woman, but I’m incredibly threatened by the whole idea of sharing, especially since I have never done anything like this before. Also, although things have stayed relatively casual, I am worried that jealousy is going to be a problem.

Can you ask your straight female readers that have done MFF threesomes to let me know how they went? And what some appropriate ground rules are? Is there a way to fulfill this fantasy for him while protecting my feelings (and those of his ex-girlfriend)? Does it still count as a threesome if I have fun with her while he watches?

Sign me,

Tentatively Reflecting On Intriguing Session

Normally I would toss this letter in the column. But there’s not enough time to get the feedback TROIS needs before the ex-girlfriend arrives in town—the ex-girlfriend arrives in a few days—so I’m tossing TROIS’ letter up on Slog.

Any feedback for her, ladies? Anything TROIS should know before she consents to this MFF threesome? Anything you wish you had known before you did?

For the last two weeks, the Seahawks pre-season games pre-empted KIRO’s Stranger News Hour on “The David Goldstein Show.”

But we’re back this Saturday evening at our regular time: 7pm on 710 KIRO AM.

It’s been a news-heavy couple of weeks for us: ECB’s reporting on city council candidate Tim Burgess’s connection to the right wing freaks at Concerned Women for America, local attorney David Coffman’s sleuthing on Ted Haggard, and my stories on KUOW and Rep. Brian Baird.

And I imagine David Goldstein—our amiable host—will want to talk about his blog rival Stefan Sharkansky.

…the novel ways we educate our daughters about scripture.

Pastor had sex with daughters

A fundamentalist church pastor had sex with two of his teenage daughters to educate them on how to be good wives, a South Australian court has heard.

The 54-year-old man, who cannot be named, was today sentenced in the SA District Court to eight and a half years jail after pleading guilty to seven counts each of incest and unlawful sexual intercourse.

The court heard that the man had sex with his daughters for nearly a decade from 1991 when they were aged 13 and 15 at the family property….

The man told the court the sex was not about fulfilling his desires but about teaching his daughters how to behave for their husbands when they eventually married, as dictated in scripture.

The Bare Facts Of The Crime
A woman marries a man. Five days later, the woman is murdered and her new husband is the only suspect. The cops, however, don’t have enough evidence to throw him behind bars. He is released. A few days ago, the man turns up dead in a basement. Suicide is the suspected cause of his death. The case is now almost closed.

The Details
The murdered woman and the man who was her husband for the first five days of July are Canadian East Asians. The woman was 40; her man was 34. The woman was a popular principal at a Surrey school; the man was something of a drifter, a good-for-nothing with a violent past. The principal knew about his past.

The Public
Of course the public blames the woman. She committed the original crime: the double transgression her class (professional) and her age group (40 to 50). If she had married a man who was older than her (preferably widowed with kids), and of the same social standing has as her, she would not have exposed her delicate body to the deadly heat and beast of a much younger man. We know the mind of the public; we know what it’s saying at this very moment: Not him in the basement, but her in the grave. She should have known better.

The public feels safer when it can blame the victim for something that in truth was entirely out of his/her control.

Some people find certain spaces inexplicably arousing. I used to have a predictable—and wholly unwelcome—response whenever I rode in the back of one of those big, ol’ Yellow Cabs. (There was something about the wide, flat leather seats, I guess.) Some people are turned by elevators, some are turned on by examination rooms, some are turned on by airplane cabins—and some are turned on in public bathrooms. Now I don’t get that—I can’t think of anything less arousing than the fwap and splash of other men taking dumps. But, hey, to each his own.

As we’ve seen with the Larry Craig scandal, however, a public restroom isn’t the safest space to rub one out—unless you’re in Idaho, Craig’s home state, and you’re rubbing one out solo.

In 1990, the Idaho Court of Appeals, in State v. Limberhand, ruled that (solo) masturbation within an enclosed restroom stall was constitutionally protected behavior as the individual within the stall had a reasonable expectation of privacy within the stall.

Beats by the Pound

Big Tune at War Room

• See what else is happening in Music on Friday »
• More Stranger Suggests for this week »

Could be just a matter of time…

The Republican National Committee took the unusual step Thursday of drafting statements calling on Craig to resign, GOP aides said, a rare move to force the third-term senator out. But the committee never released its statement to allow Craig more time to announce his own departure.

Yesterday an unelected judge in Iowa—unelected, just like the judges that decided Loving v. Virginia and Brown v. Board of Education—ruled that denying marriage to same-sex couples violated the state of Iowa’s constitution. Today a same-sex couple got a marriage license in Des Moines, a waiver from a sympathetic judge, and then the men married before the decision legalizing same-sex marriage could be stayed by another judge.

Earlier today, two male college students were married in the front yard of a Des Moines residence this morning.

The couple — Tim McQuillan and Sean Fritz, both Iowa State University students — obtained a marriage license at the Polk County recorder’s office and got a judge to sign a waiver allowing them to marry today rather than wait three days, as is required by law.

They were married by the Rev. Mark Stringer of First Unitarian Church in Des Moines at 10:32 a.m. Before the ceremony, Stringer said, ” Awesome. It’s a long time coming.”

Mmm… long time coming…

And what do Tim Burgess’ buddies at the Concerned Women for America have to say about the Iowa decision? Well, they put up this graphic…

Get it? IowGaY? Hee haw. And what do the Concerned Women have to say? Well, their Policy Director—concerned “woman” Matt Barber—seems to think that the sacredness of marriage is at risk.

“It’s preposterous to think that the framers of the Iowa constitution could have even imagined that the document they were drafting would someday be distorted in such a way as to force ‘gay’ marriage’ upon Iowa.”

It is—just as the slave-owning framers of the U.S. constitution could never have imagined that the document they were drawing up would someday be used to “force” inter-racial marriage upon the U.S. That’s the funny thing about constitutions—they’re open to interpretation, and that’s what our judges—elected and un-elected—are there for in part, to interpret the constitution.

Are you one of those pesky females? Did God leave you empty handed in the penis department? Do you long for a handy hose, instead of that unruly hole? Do you wish you could cruise a urinal as effortlessly as a Republican Senator? Are you tired of sitting down in general?

Well, ma’am, today is your lucky, lucky day!

Ladies, women and other girly-type things, I give you…THE MAGIC CONE.

Please to be enjoying a full demonstration of the Magic Cone, here!

Tony Snow has resigned his position as White House Press Monkey. Super fox Dana Perino is taking his place.

This morning I’m on my way to check out the Muenster Sculpture Project, the Venice Biennale, and Documenta 12. I’ll be back with stories and images to share after Sept. 13.

But first, I want to put in a plug for a particularly good First Thursday that I’ll be sorry to miss next week.

Here’s a teaser of one show: Scott Fife at Platform Gallery. Here’s Fife’s Quicktime video of “making Lionel Hampton.” The video, in strange not-slow motion, documents the creation of a recent sculpture of the legendary jazzman in cardboard, glue, and screws, with the artist eerily erased.

A father who was too drunk to drive had his 11-year-old son get behind the wheel of his pickup and drive them home, authorities said. Police stopped the boy late Tuesday after he was seen driving the 1992 Chevy truck the wrong way on a one-way street.

The boy’s father, Frank Neff, 35, of Fairbanks, was too drunk to drive and had told the child to drive them home, police said.

Men! No woman would allow her child—oh, wait…

A woman is in jail for allegedly allowing her five-year-old child to drive a car…. “I saw a toddler at the wheel and another toddler on the console. I said, ‘Ma’am, are you letting your toddler drive?’ She said, ‘Yes. He’s a good driver,’” said Barrett.

According to a police report, the woman’s speech was slurred and she failed all field sobriety tests. She also allegedly told deputies that she’d taken Percocet, a prescription painkiller for “when the kids are acting wild.”

Gay Marriage Okayed: In Iowa!

Subprime Solution: Bush proposing mortgage reform.

Blind Leading the Blind: General Petraeus says the surge is working.

Now They Tell Me: Senate says your boss can’t RFID tag you.

Black Ops: FBI spied on Coretta Scott King

404 Not Found: Nobody wants to finance municipal WiFi.

Steamed Crap, Virgin Chicken: What you won’t be eating at the Beijing Olympics.

Now, with very little fanfare, it’s another recipe from Mettja C. Roate’s The New Hotdog Cookbook!

Jellied Hot Dog Loaf

12 hot dogs
1 tablespoon unflavored gelatin
1/4 cup cold water
1 cup boiling water
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1/2 cup sweet and sour pickles, very finely sliced
1/2 cup pimento-stuffed olives, very finely sliced
1 tablespoon onion, finely grated
1 teaspoon prepared Dusseldorf-style mustard
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 barf bag

Chop six of the hot dogs until they are the consistency of coarse corn meal. Set aside.

Soften the gelatin in the cold water for 5 minutes. Add the hot water and stir until all of the gelatin is completely dissolved. Add the lemon juice. Place in the coldest part of the refrigerator for 1 hour or until thickened.

Beat the gelatin with an electric or rotary beater until it is light and fluffy. Fold in the chopped hot dogs, pickles, olives, grated onion, mustard and mayonnaise. Place three of the whole hot dogs in the bottom of a loaf pan which has been rinsed in ice cold water. Pour one half of the gelatin mixture over them. Place the remaining three hot dogs over the gelatin. Pour the remainder of the gelatin mixture over them. Place in the coldest part of the refrigeratior for at least 4 hours.

Unmold on a thick bed of shredded lettuce. Slice in generous sliced and serve with additional mayonnaise which has been slightly flavored with horseradish.

Now, here’s some more hot doggery. You deserve it.

KUOW’s morning show is on twice a day now. Or Weekday is being rehashed on something called “KUOW Presents.” Uh… whatever, KUOW. Isn’t one dose of Weekday per day punishment enough?

Thank goodness I’m listening on iTunes, so I can switch to WBEZ in Chicago or WNYC in New York or KQED in SF, and catch up on the programming the geniuses running KUOW figure I don’t wanna hear anymore.

The BBC World Service is on now at KQED in SF right now. It’s not on in Seattle until 1 AM. Thank God for iTunes.

God help us.

Activist Mark Dice recently spent some time at San Diego State University trying to find one student—just one! who could name the year the 9/11 attacks happened.

Not only did the vast majority not know (“I don’t remember,” one says, laughing) they, like, totally didn’t care. (“It doesn’t really concern me.”) Awesome!

And there it goes, strictly as an investment.

As if the fact that they pay $250 to sweat in the desert and shit in a bucket for a week wasn’t proof enough that Burning Man devotees tend to be perhaps not the sharpest tools in the shed… Well, now there’s this:

“A Burning Man participant was found dead this morning, hanging from the inside of a two-story high tent, according to Mark Pirtle, special agent in charge for the Bureau of Land Managment…. Pirtle said the man was hanging for two hours before anyone in the large tent thought to bring him down. ‘His friends thought he was doing an art piece,’ Pirtle said.”

The Republican will (finally) make the official announcement that he’s running for president. When exactly? Sept. 6.

This just in to Last Days, from Hot Tipper Annie:

Hi. I’ve just moved back to town after a few years away. Last night on a 316 bus, I saw a woman usurp an occupied seat by saying, “Excuse me, would you mind if I sat down? I’m trying to conceive.”

Is it more hilarious that she actually said this, or that it worked?

I assume Annie means the ruse worked in earning the woman a bus seat, not securing her conception. Either way, to answer Annie’s question, the woman’s statement and her bus mate’s response are equally hilarious.

Declarative Statement: The 1993 film Cliffhanger boasts the greatest trailer in the history of motion pictures.

Prove or disprove? (Feel free to show your work.)

Addendum #1: Can any classical music fans out there tell me the names of the songs used? I remember reading that they pieced together at least three.

Addendum #2: Why in the hell did they cut that ridiculously awesome final jump from the movie? Why?

As I reported earlier, David Della opponent Tim Burgess’s consulting firm produced media materials and wrote copy, among other services, for Concerned Women for America, a far-right fundamentalist group founded by Beverly LaHaye, the wife of apocalyptic novel author Tim LaHaye.

As I mentioned in my earlier post, Concerned Women for America (a misnomer, as many of its members and spokespeople are actually men) has advocated against making emergency contraception available over the counter on the grounds that EC encourages promiscuity; has said gay marriage will destroy civil society; calls the Equal Rights Amendment an attack on traditional families; opposes abortion rights, stem-cell research, and comprehensive sex education; and believes birth control is a form of abortion.

Burgess told me the firm he founded, now called Merkle/Domain (Burgess sold it in 2005) represented CWFA for eight or nine years. Crucially, those years included 2003-2004—the year Bush won reelection. Burgess says that he does not agree with CWFA’s political views, but adds that he was fully aware of those views when he took them on as a client. “We were in the business of helping nonprofit organizations with their marketing,” Burgess says. “We generally did not have an ideological screen on clients. We’ve served all kinds of groups, [including] some others that I don’t always agree with.”

Some in the comments thread on my previous post have said that Burgess “had every right” to take on Concerned Women as a client, and have suggested that not taking them on (and taking their money) would amount to “censorship.” Oh, please. Of course he had the right to take their money (although not taking on a client, in a free market, hardly amounts to “censoring” them). But by allowing his firm to help them produce media and ad campaigns in the critical year of 2004, Burgess profited from the promotion of a radical right-wing agenda that, if implemented, would cause immediate and profound harm to gays, lesbians, young people, and women—even if he did, as he told me, eventually recuse himself from working for them personally. In 2003, according to its 990 form with the IRS, Concerned Women spent nearly $8 million on outreach efforts, including $328,479 to Burgess’s Domain Group. The money, according to the IRS form, paid for direct mail to Concerned Women’s constituents.

Burgess’s client list when he owned the Domain Group included numerous other faith-based organizations. Among them: The Christian Management Association, which aims to “validate and advocate the legitimacy of a Christian worldview in management practices within our culture”; Food for the Hungry, Inc., which got money from the Bush Administration to promote its “life-saving message of abstinence” in Africa, where AIDS has decimated the population; the Bible League, which distributes Bibles and seeks to convert people to Christianity in places like China, Africa, and the Middle East.

There’s also the op-ed Burgess wrote for the Times in 2005, which Dan linked to earlier; in it, Burgess said that people of faith, like him, “don’t like abortion” and “value the sacredness of marriage between a woman and a man.” Well, frankly, I don’t like abortion either—who does? I just want to have the right to have one, a choice Burgess says he supports. But I do stumble a bit at “sacredness of marriage between a woman and a man.” That’s pretty standard code for opposition to gay marriage. Maybe the choice of words was unfortunate, but maybe not, and that’s where I start to get nervous.

On the other hand: Burgess (who, for the record, has repeatedly said he supports marriage equality and abortion rights) says he’s been up-front about his work for CWFA in endorsement meetings. And he has received endorsements from many progressive groups and individuals, including the 34th and 46th District Democrats, gay former City Council member Tina Podlodowski and gay state Rep. Joe McDermott. (Podlodowski has said she was aware that Tim had represented CWFA when she endorsed him). And the gay and lesbian candidate ratings group SEAMEC gave him a rating of 3—”meets expectations”—noting in the minutes of the interview that “prominent leaders in the LGBT community are supporting Mr. Burgess’s candidacy, which suggests his support for marriage equality and LGBT rights is genuine.”

Mic the Drums, Goddammit!: Trent Moorman says so and Greg from Electrokitty will help you.

New Weekly Series: Terry Miller compares and contrasts modern pop and classical music starting with Wu Tang and and Bach.

Respect the Boss: A nation gets stoked for Springsteen.

Huge Jumping Sets: What you missed last night.

Circus @ Pony