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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Wait, Now the Squirrels Are on Our Side?

posted by on July 18 at 15:17 PM

This story was reported today on the 700 Club (the only place I go for news, of course):

Iranians arrest 14 squirrels for spying
Islamic Republic’s intelligence agents allege rodents were carrying advanced Western spy gear
Iranian intelligence operatives recently detained over a dozen squirrels found within the nation’s borders, claiming the rodents were serving as spies for Western powers determined to undermine the Islamic Republic.

“In recent weeks, intelligence operatives have arrested 14 squirrels within Iran’s borders,” state-sponsored news agency IRNA reported. “The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act, thanks to the alertness of our intelligence services.”

Iranian police commander Esmaeil Ahmadi-Moqadam confirmed the report, saying that a number of squirrels had been caught bearing foreign spy gear within Iran’s borders.

“I heard of this but I have no specific knowledge on the subject,” he said. He refused to give further details.

Recently, Iran has increased its efforts in combating espionage by the West. The use of rodents has not been documented in the past.

You keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
squirrel.jpg

[Thanks to eternal tech shack wonder-man Brian!]

RSS icon Comments

1

Foamy the Squirrel has been drafted?

Who would have thunk ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 18, 2007 3:28 PM
2

Spider squirrel, spider squirrel, does whatever a spider squirrel does...

Posted by monkey | July 18, 2007 3:48 PM
3

This here real life Secret Squirrel; I wish I could find that story, or white paper or something legit beyond the 700 club and a few heresay blogs. Sounds like propaganda hooey to me. Anyone got anything?

Posted by Phenics | July 18, 2007 4:00 PM
4

i be in iran
steelin ur seecretz!

Posted by Special K | July 18, 2007 4:10 PM
5

That squirrel pictured is all like "Dude, what's with the flash, MAN"

Posted by fun shaped | July 18, 2007 4:22 PM
6

Yeah, he's undercover!

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 18, 2007 4:31 PM
7

just because they are spying doesn't mean they are spying for us.

Posted by infrequent | July 18, 2007 4:33 PM
8

As soon as Bush hears about this, Guantanamo will have to start hiring vets.

Posted by Nat | July 18, 2007 4:44 PM
9

You'll never make me talk, coppas!

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | July 18, 2007 5:02 PM
10

Are you sure the original source isn't the Weekly World News? Squirrels arrested for espionage in Iran! Bat boy lives!

Posted by keshmeshi | July 18, 2007 5:31 PM
11

I hear water torture if you're caught on a spy mission will drive you nuts.

Darn that Cheney for weakening torture provisions!

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 18, 2007 5:34 PM
12

How does one arrest a squirrel? Itty bitty handcuffs? Did they impound it's stash of nuts?
I seem to remember a story last fall in a Philly paper about the English declaring war on American gray squirrels. Apparently our bushy tailed little countryvermin were fucking up their even littler ponsy native reds. This coupled with those freaky black squirrels up north that throw shit, little bastards, leads me to err on the side of the Iranians. I don't trust 'em either. Violent wee fuckers, cept now they've gone all covert.

Posted by pidgin | July 18, 2007 5:36 PM
13

Okay, if after this story, Joe Lieberman or really, anyone, is still worried about the military threat Iran poses, they're as crazy as the mullahs who arrested those squirrels.

Posted by Gitai | July 18, 2007 6:23 PM
14

LOL!! You foolish humans!! This is all part of our master plan to make you complacent and vulnerable. We will make you think we are on the side of the Americans but really we were spying FOR OUR OWN PURPOSES!!! We have learned all we can about the American Military and now we are looking at all the other nations and their military might. Soon, we will disrupt every single defense measure in the world and then the thermonutular weapons will be unleashed on your cities.

Bow before your cute masters!! Kneel and kiss our fuzzy tails!! For those who survive, you will mine nuts to sait our desires, your children will work in nut roasting plants! A new order is coming!!!

Posted by Fluff Tail the Master of the Squirrels | July 18, 2007 7:22 PM
15

“The squirrels were carrying spy gear of foreign agencies, and were stopped before they could act"

this is the dead giveaway that this story is b.s. ok, you can send rodents in with spyware, get the images they inadvertently capture, via satellite, but what were they trained/intelligent enough to 'act' upon?

Posted by ellarosa | July 18, 2007 10:15 PM
16

Yer, killin me!

No source?!

How can I repost this without a source?

Damn you! Fix this!

(thanks!)


Posted by K X One | July 18, 2007 11:04 PM
17

nice nuts...

Posted by dre | July 19, 2007 4:14 PM

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