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1

If only cocaine did what the ad says. It just turns most people into assholes (me included).

Posted by Dianna | July 26, 2007 6:38 PM
2

Man, I'm always gettin' arrested wearing someone else's pants with blow in the pockets. Damn, I can totally relate girl.

Posted by Sally Struthers Lawnchair | July 26, 2007 7:05 PM
3

If I had cocaine right now id do it. Then, id read the WHOLE slog until my eyes bled...Do you have a cigarette? That reminds me of my dad, did I ever tell you about my dad? Im thirsty...

Posted by Joe Blow | July 26, 2007 7:40 PM
4

On its own the excuse could be woven into a plausible defense.

As a part of a trial including testimony that she was pursuing someone in a high speed car chase while wasted drunk? Hard to make it sound innocent...

Posted by mirror | July 26, 2007 9:49 PM
5

I don't give a fuck about this beautiful famous rich white woman and why she inexplicably wants to annihilate herself.

What I do want to know is why they're saying she isn't going to have to face jail time. I'm pretty sure that if I were brought up on felony cocaine possession they would just throw me in the slammer and melt the key down for scrap. Why the fuck should she be any different?

Posted by Big Sven | July 26, 2007 11:31 PM
6

Umm, because she's rich?

Posted by Big Jim | July 27, 2007 6:18 AM
7

i still have the original column cut out and saved because i thought it was so hilarious! damn, five years ago? i'm getting old.

Posted by kyd22 | July 27, 2007 10:12 AM

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