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You keep spelling Scientologists incorrectly, but I still love you!

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 26, 2007 1:57 PM

Mr. Ryan, please accept my invitation to join me on a Sea-Org cruise. I really can't take no for an answer.


Posted by I Put the Cruise in Cruise Director | July 26, 2007 1:58 PM

Adrian, this post only confirms that you are now my favorite stranger writer. Sorry David.

Posted by wisepunk | July 26, 2007 2:00 PM

poe: i do that on purpose so it is harder for them to trace my posts.

Posted by adrian! | July 26, 2007 2:08 PM

Too much font bolding, didn't read.

Posted by Matthew | July 26, 2007 2:15 PM

Adrian! The trickery! The brilliance!

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 26, 2007 2:15 PM

Adrian, Adrian,

they probably were trying to kill them.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 26, 2007 2:29 PM


It is curious that you would choose to write in a post that you didn't read.

Posted by In Oz | July 26, 2007 2:30 PM


Unfortunately for both of us, I just fell in love with you a little bit.

Posted by Callie | July 26, 2007 2:40 PM

We want to know more about this purported sex summer!

Posted by fun shaped | July 26, 2007 2:41 PM

According to, David Letterman was married once, divorcing in 1977.

I wonder if this woman's marriage to Letterman was part of her delusions?

Posted by David in Wedgwood | July 26, 2007 2:44 PM

So John Travolta's face really bothers me. Ever since it got really wide.

Posted by Dianna | July 26, 2007 2:48 PM

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain...Adrian, if you don't come on a Sea-Org Cruise. Join us.


Posted by I Put the Cruise in Cruise Director | July 26, 2007 2:48 PM

david in wedgewood: INDEED! you are on to something. a billion years ago, a famous schizophrenic got media attention for insisting that she was mrs david letterman, and moving into his house (sans his permission, express wishes and utter knowledge) to prove her point. she stalked his forever and she was arrested, i think? i have always wondered, WAS THIS THE SAME WOMAN? it had to be! i hope so. if not...well. david letterman, scientology, crazy....WHAT????

Posted by adrian! | July 26, 2007 2:49 PM

Was the second woman the magical Faye Dunaway?

C'mon, Adrian please, the "lifted her shirt, exposed her pendulous and un-bra-ed boobs, and screamed, I FUCKED JESUS CHRIST! THE SCIENTOLOGISTS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!!! and rushed out the front door" part totally gave it away.

Posted by Original Andrew | July 26, 2007 2:55 PM

Rich people get mental illnesses too.

Adrian, it's GOT to be the same woman, doesn't it?

Posted by Fnarf | July 26, 2007 3:12 PM

The fact is that members of Scientology under the Fair Game doctrine have indeed conspired to destroy people, usually ex-members and journalists, using various tactics including intimidation, blackmail and allegedly murder made to look like suicides/ODs. They even broke into IRS offices to steal government files. This must provide a great alternative source of peril for paranoid people to draw from when they get tired of their cliched struggles against the worldwide CIA/Alien/Jewish Conspiracy.

Of course just because these people were crazy doesn't mean that the Scientologists weren't out to get them. Rich unstable women seem like just the sort of rubes that Dianetics might suck in and then alienate.

Posted by dirge | July 26, 2007 3:14 PM

5 + 2 + 7 = 14

Minus 1 for no apparent reason = 13.


Posted by Mr. Poe | July 26, 2007 3:27 PM

wasn't Letterman being stalked by a scientologist-obsessed woman in the mid-90s?

Posted by jzilla | July 26, 2007 3:30 PM

oops, the answer apparently, is yes.

Posted by jzilla | July 26, 2007 3:32 PM

OK, two things: first, the unstable are often attracted to things like Scientology that promise calmness will be yours if only you drink the Kool-aid. The Scientologists also like their converts to be well-off and to will them all their money. I find it not entirely inconceivable that many inherently unstable people have been harassed upon leaving the cult, and have interpreted such harassment as attempts to kill them.

Second, I have to know the Whitney Houston hairball story. You can't just drop that into the conversation and then not reveal the details.

Posted by Geni | July 26, 2007 3:35 PM

a few things. tom...WHAT? please to be emailing my people at

@21: the rumors of whitney houston's hairball go all the way back to HERE..., and if you google adrian ryan whitney houston's hair" or something...i'm sure something will pop up.

i love you all.

Posted by adrian! | July 26, 2007 3:41 PM

Dave's been through this before. From Wikipedia:

In 1988, Margaret Mary Ray was arrested while driving Letterman's Porsche near the Lincoln Tunnel in New York City. Ray claimed to be Letterman's wife, and was repeatedly arrested in subsequent years for trespassing and other charges. In one instance, police found her sleeping on Letterman's private tennis court at his home in New Canaan, Connecticut. Ray spent nearly ten months in prison and 14 months in a state mental institution for her various trespassing convictions. On October 7, 1998, Ray was struck and killed by a train in an apparent suicide in Colorado. Letterman issued a statement expressing sadness for all of Ray's sufferings.

In December 2005, a fan named Colleen Nestler (whom Letterman claimed he had never met) sought a temporary restraining order in a Santa Fe, New Mexico court against Letterman, claiming he used code words and gestures on television broadcasts to convey romantic feelings toward her. She claims that the incidents caused her "mental cruelty." After a judge granted the order, Letterman's lawyer declared the order "absurd and frivolous" and filed a motion to end it. At a December 26 hearing, the order was lifted.[9] As usual, Letterman was able to make fun out of the situation: during one of his monologues soon after the story broke, he told the audience after they laughed at a joke he had made: "That wasn't a joke, that was a coded message."

And let's not forget the people who tried to kidnap his son. To help us forget, here's my letter on Viewer Mail from 1991:

(Letter #3, 4:25 in.)

Posted by Jason Josephes | July 26, 2007 3:45 PM

Rich people go insane best! Check out the Northern regions of L.A. It's replete with reclusive, eccentric has-beens who think it's just fine to eat at Denny's on PCH in their robe, mumbling to themselves about he Getty's and then crescendoing into a screaming, "Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up!"

I worked in th call center of a ginormous lender back in the 90s. Best call I ever got was some rich old bag who lived in Bel Air and had a $6k per month mortgage that had never gone delinquent once in it's 12 year history.

The payment was late because her movie man husband was out of town, she went off her meds and spaced it. She immediately paid the bill over the phone but she wouldn't hang up. All she wanted to do was talk about how Musad was out to kill her because she knew where the Ark Of The Covenant was hidden but that she was protected by Hamas and Hezbollah so she had a shot at staying out of their clutches if she was dilligent.

True story.

I told her that I was hiding out at the Nolte Compound under the name Manolo and that I was under the protecton of Captain Lou Albano of The World Wrestling Federation because Nambla and Pflag had a price on my head for dissemminating the true location of Jim Hensons grave to The Police (the rock band, not the law enforcement apparatus).

Posted by Dress Yo Zwinky! | July 26, 2007 3:47 PM

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