I'm not sure how I'd feel about a world with the "if it can be done, it should be done" ethic. Still, if it could work anywhere, competitive athletics -- where the body is already destroyed -- seem a natural place to explore what such a world would be like.

F1 drivers must now maintain large distances between the cars, else if they get too close they upset the aerodynamics, lose downforce (traction), and risk spinning out. F1 races are now widely seen as a joke, turning into very expensive parades with little drama.

There's what happened when the if-it-can-be-done ethic reached saturation level in F1... it destroyed nearly all the competition in the sport.

But we should keep our law against running them down with your car, given that car drivers are by and large capable of obeying said law. It's not pointless like trying to tell a bicyclist right from wrong.

That's how we got here, right? By being victorious?

Dennis Miller: In response to what its sponsors claim is an idea whose time has come, the first All-Drug Olympics opened today in Bogota, Columbia. Athletes are allowed to take any substance whatsoever before, after, and even during the competition. So far, 115 world records have been shattered! We go now to correspondent Kevin Nealon, live in Bogota for the Weightlifting Finals. Kevin?

Kevin Nealon: Dennis, getting ready to lift now is Sergei Akmudov of the Soviet Union. His trainer has told me that he's taken antibolic steroids, Novacaine, Nyquil, Darvon, and some sort of fish paralyzer. Also, I believe he's had a few cocktails within the last hour or so. All of this is, of course, perfectly legal at the All-Drug Olympics, in fact it's encouraged. Akmudov is getting set now, he's going for a cleaning jerk of over 1500 pounds, which would triple the existing world record. That's an awful lot of weight, Dennis, and here he goes.

[ Kevin steps aside to reveal the steroid-bulked athlete bent over to lift the 1500 lbs. weight. Sergei tightens his grip on the barbells and pulls up, but instead of lifting the weights, his arms are pulled off and blood squirts ferociously out of his pulpy stubs.

Kevin Nealon: Oh! He pulled his arms off! He's pulled his arms off, that's gotta be disappointing to the big Russian! [ Sergei's trainer wraps a towel around him ] You know, you hate to see something like this happen, Dennis! He probably doesn't have that much pain right now, but I think tomorrow he's really gonna feel that, Dennis! Back to you!

Dennis Miller: Thank you, Kevin. Very nice form on the Russian. Canada, of course, is leading that competition.

You say it won't happen becuase the drugs are hard to obtain? Or because it's the parents' responsibility to protect their kids from them? These drugs would be (if they're not already) on the street just like weed and crack, if there's a new young market for them. And forget the parents.. some of them (you know the ones, who think their kid is gonna be the champ!! your intensity is for shit!!) will even expedite.

Just a bad idea...