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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Our Long City-Wide Nightmare May Be Over

posted by on July 10 at 14:44 PM

The Seattle Times is reporting that the Mariners are close to re-signing Ichiro for another five years. The deal is rumored to be worth close to $100 million, and is expected to be officially announced on Friday.

Ichiro_Sep_16_2004.jpg

RSS icon Comments

1

but...but...HE HAS NO ASS!

Posted by adrian! | July 10, 2007 2:52 PM
2

By the time he retires, Ichiro will be considered the best lead-off hitter in baseball history (if he isn't already).

Posted by SteveR | July 10, 2007 2:52 PM
3

thank you, adrian. my sentiments exactly. i mean, you could screen a movie on that thing. best hitter, schmest hitter - what is baseball without the ass?

Posted by brandon | July 10, 2007 2:58 PM
4
Posted by Prospero | July 10, 2007 2:58 PM
5

@2: ichiro's great, but you've obviously forgotten a lead-off hitter named CHARLIE HUSTLE, one mr. pete rose of the cincinnati red legs, the big red machine! holder of the record for most hits in a major league career.

as a 'nati native, i cannot allow this injustice to pass unmentioned.

Posted by maxsolomon | July 10, 2007 2:58 PM
6

and will be ridiculously glorfied in seattle despite not bringing glory to the entire team.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | July 10, 2007 2:59 PM
7

Thank Christ. He's gonna get his 'missing pieces' next season for sure. 13 games over .500 at the All-Star break, after nearly every Seattleite was exhausting their Kleenex supply at the end of Spring Training at how bad we were gonna suck? Goddamned testament to the chaps that actually matter - the ones that play the game. Seattle, time to fucking rejoice! Season ticket holders, time to reproduce!

Thank Christ as well that it's quasi-officially safe to stop imagining Ichiro musing about his dog in the New York or Boston press maelstroms.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | July 10, 2007 2:59 PM
8

My Ichiro Bobble Head is nodding in happiness at this news!

Can't wait for Husky Day at the Mariners!

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 10, 2007 3:01 PM
9

@2 and @5...

I think Rickey Henderson has this one locked up...or Ty Cobb.

Posted by pablocjr | July 10, 2007 3:03 PM
10

My boy Ricky was one of the best. Rose wasn't too bad either--for a white guy.

Posted by Shaniqua Jackson | July 10, 2007 3:05 PM
11

Shaniqua, i would say that he wasn't bad for a redneck west side cincinnati shanty irish hillbilly.

in my neighborhood, he was almost black.

Posted by maxsolomon | July 10, 2007 3:15 PM
12

Ricky Henderson was the best leadoff hitter of all time. Ichiro, while great, and worth every penny of this deal, isn't even close to him. Twenty points of OBP, and Ichiro hasn't had his decline phase yet. He has 2,190 walks! Ichiro will barely break 500.

Neither could Rose, hits record or no. And Rickey never bet on baseball games he was playing and managing in.

Posted by Fnarf | July 10, 2007 3:24 PM
13

ricky was the man. i got to see charlie hustle at the end of his career with my beloved phillies of the charlton era. he was as fat and out of shape as edgar martinez, but he ran 10 times faster.

ichiro is more complete than all those great players since he has hitting, incredible defense and speed. he is a natural. a joy to watch. i would not be surprised if he pitches.

with ichiro signing i guess now the mystery of why hargrove left is solved. they wont admit it.

Posted by SeMe | July 10, 2007 3:33 PM
14

oops, i meant carlton.

Posted by SeMe | July 10, 2007 3:35 PM
15

I'm with you SeMe. Ichiro says he wants to become a pitcher when he turns 40. I love it. Seattle's the perfect place for that, a transition at the end of a single-city career. Though I'm already dreading PITCHIRO flashing on the jumbotron.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | July 10, 2007 3:45 PM
16

but, magically, his stance makes him look like he has the biggest ass in baseball.

Posted by robespierre & maurice | July 10, 2007 4:05 PM
17

Rickey Henderson is still the the greatest lead off hitter in baseball. Someone just needs to give Rickey Henderson another chance, and Rickey Henderson will prove that Rickey Henderson can not only be the best lead off hitter, but Rickey Henderson can be the best player in baseball. Rickey Henderson Rickey Henderson Rickey Henderson.

Posted by Rickey Henderson | July 10, 2007 4:15 PM
18

@16, well then where the hell is that picture? that's the one i want to see. adrian too, right?

Posted by josef | July 10, 2007 4:24 PM
19

Watch an Ms game, Josef! Any one will do. He does this weird measuring thing with his forearm, then sticks his butt out like a little birdie.

Posted by annie | July 10, 2007 5:20 PM
20

Ichiro is HOT HOT HOT!!!!

Posted by loveichiro | July 10, 2007 6:28 PM
21

@9, @12, etc ...
Rickey was great. Rickey was Rickey. Ichiro has played in about 1/3 of the games that Rickey did, and is on about the same pace in several categories (Runs, RBI's, Doubles). Yes Rickey walked more, but he also struck out more. Rickey has a higher OBP, but Ichiro has a higher average and slugging % (believe it or not! ... .439 vs .419). Their OPS are virtually identical. Ichiro hits WAY more Triples (triples are underrated, in my opinion), and he will also have more Hits when it's all over. Then, of course, there's fielding ... Ichiro has a lifetime .994 fielding %, which is phenomenal. Rickey's was .979 (use both hands, Rickey!). That's 14 LIFETIME errors for Ichiro, with 141 for Rickey!

Ichiro could get the HR's, but doesn't swing for the fences like Rickey did (hence less strikeouts). The only place that Ichiro will never touch Rickey is stolen bases and ego.

I won't say much about Rose, other than he should definitely be in the Hall of Fame. His primary achievement was longevity. He had 23 seasons, but had 200+ hits in only 10 of them. Ichiro has 200+ in every season he's played, including the all-time single season record (262 in 2004).

Posted by SteveR | July 10, 2007 6:46 PM
22

PS - Ichiro has a slightly higher SB% than Rickey (.811 vs .808). Rickey stole more, but got caught more too!

Posted by SteveR | July 10, 2007 6:51 PM
23

@15 are you freaking kidding? Seattle has the DH rule which would eliminate half of his benefit to the team, especially with his pitching ability unknown

Posted by vooodooo84 | July 10, 2007 7:19 PM
24

I hit ball, big time! Love to Seattle!
Ranagazoo, let's have at you-

Posted by Itchy Roe | July 10, 2007 9:36 PM
25

Ok, this isn't the perfect angle, but shows most of the Butt Effect of Ichiro's batting stance. I heart Ichiro!

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/dayart/20050829/ichiro05_julyE.jpg

Posted by lauren | July 10, 2007 11:11 PM
26

@ 23...if an AL pitcher was actually capable of hitting, there's no reason they couldn't be in the lineup. The DH allows you to sub a hitter for the pitcher, but it doesn't mandate it.

So actually, yeah that would be hysterical...a 40 year old Ichiro pitching and batting...yet another bizarre record.

Posted by gnossos | July 10, 2007 11:14 PM
27

Are you saying 20 million a year! Insane! He should be ashamed since there are staving children in Africa!!!

Posted by Touring | July 10, 2007 11:25 PM
28

@23 - Yeah, they could let Ichiro stay in the line-up and hit for Richie Sexson.

Inside the park homer! ASG-MVP! Kanpai, bee-yatches!!!!

Posted by SteveR | July 10, 2007 11:35 PM
29

My lady is from his hometown, and they love his ASS, non-existent or not....

Posted by Al Bynoe | July 11, 2007 4:08 AM
30

@27 At least its a fucking year...Bruce Willis, Jim Carrey, George Clooney, all make more than that a film, which, is usually two to four months....And Ichiro is more talented than all those fuck stains! Hooray for the Stranger talking about sports!!!

Posted by Magglio Ordonez | July 11, 2007 4:14 AM
31

The more I watch Ichiro float around in the outfield, the more I think he bats for our team...really, I do.

Posted by MyDogBen | July 11, 2007 6:38 AM
32

Thanks to adrian! and the Stranger for
an Ichiro perspective sadly lacking in the national media.

@9 FWIW: Cobb batted 3rd or 4th in his
prime. He was a power hitter by dead-ball era standards, leading the league in homers (9, all inside-the-park!) in 1909.

Posted by butterw | July 11, 2007 11:57 AM

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