READ:If I come across as a jackass to the cops and USPS, it's the devil's fault.
READ: If I come across as a jackass on BET, it's all the editor's fault.
Tonight I will suck hard penis in the name of my Lord. Amen.
Jeebus Farking Cripes, this guy's lamer than Omarion. Maybe if we all pray for him to shut the fuck up, God will hear us and strike his tongue down with leprosy or something...
I might actually watch Hutch do his thing if there was lots of gold jewelry and rotating bubble-butts.
An African-American male contacting the King County Sheriff's department for assistance right now? Man, sometimes the jokes just write themselves, don't they? No wonder he's soliciting prayers.
I pray Hutch gets a post office box, so his flock doesn't have to hear him whine about his mail anymore. Perhaps he should ask them to pray for the meth heads who steal people's mail in order to commit identity theft to support their habits...after all, hate the sin, love the sinner!
Simply amazing. Just when you think he's at the peak of his "no act too inconsequential to implore prayer from the flock" game, he outdoes himself. He's mere weeks away from telling us about the dump he just took.
Some christians sure get into being victims.
Sending my son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for your sins wasn't enough, now you want me watching your fucking mailbox every day, as if I don't have better things to do?
Get a life and QUIT FUCKING CALLING ME!
Dear Prayer Warriors,
I woke up this morning because the dog was whining to go out. When I got out of bed, I stepped in a pile of cat poop, which caused me to hop to the door to let the dog out. Pray that I didn't hurt my non-pooped on foot from all that hopping.
After I got cleaned up, I went out to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and found that it was cold. I had to put it in the microwave, which made it too hot. Pray that I didn't burn my tongue too bad.
On the way to work, a person cut in front of me, which really fucking pissed me off, and caused me to take the Lord's name in vain repeatedly. Pray that God didn't hear it.
Yours in Christ,
He wants his flock to pray for the protection of his family while he does everything he can to destroy gay and lesbian families? Doesn't the bible say something about reaping what you sew?
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