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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

It’s Tuesday, I’m in Love

posted by on July 24 at 13:09 PM


The author of this blog’s name is Maddox, and he is not one of Angelina Jolie’s 37 kids. This Maddox is mean, sarcastic, usually hilarious, smart (I think), and he hates U2 and blogging and sentences in blogs that have links to websites and stories every other word. I’m pretty sure he’d hate me. My friend Danny introduced us this morning, and I’ve spend the majority of the day developing a raging crush on him by reading through his massive archives. That sounds dirty.

His most recent post, “The iPhone is a piece of shit and so is your face,” made me laugh outloud. I mean… LOLZ!1one!!

No, I’m not going to get an iPhone, quit emailing me about it. I’m not getting one because I already have a phone that’s better: it’s called the Nokia E70, it’s the pinnacle of human achievement, and I love it more than my family.

You’ve probably never heard of the E70 because Nokia’s marketing team is busy finding every last dick in the universe to suck, so I’m going to do their job for them and tell you about this product. And no, I’m not being paid to do this. I’m just tired of the iPhone fanboys shooting huge sticky wads and high-fiving each other (literally) over their stupid cellphones.

As an April Fool’s joke he also made a page dedicated to blaming the sinking of the Titanic on the entire Jewish population. And people took him seriously.

As of this writing, there are only two living survivors of the Titanic, and both of them claim to have been babies and too young to remember what happened.

Even though some of the world’s richest and most famous passengers were on the ship, not a single video was made of the Titanic sinking.

Abraham Lincoln dies the exact same day the Titanic sinks, except 47 years prior! The Titanic had the capacity to carry 3,547 passengers aboard! They both have 47!!!!

When will you sheeple realize that you’re being lied to? How many amateur documentaries must be made using stock footage before you believe that we’re important?

I should’ve known about this. Someone should’ve told me about him years ago.

Where have you been all my life?

RSS icon Comments


I used to be big into Maddox. Like...four years ago. I think once he started writing his book everything went downhill. That, or I just grew out of him. I thought his April Fools joke was funny; I'll give him that. His hate mail, crappy childrens art, and movie reviews are by far the best. Oh, and 'I hate Cameron Diaz'.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 24, 2007 2:14 PM

Megan, where have YOU been the last 5 years? I figured Maddox's page was common knowledge by now.

Posted by Gomez | July 24, 2007 2:16 PM

Everyone has to realize that the Stranger staff have only recently discovered the internets. Take it easy on 'em.

Posted by employee | July 24, 2007 2:28 PM

I forget, is Maddox from Something Awful? I recognize the name but I'm not sure where from.

Posted by Matthew | July 24, 2007 2:31 PM

Isn't Maddox the cruft I get under my skateboard when I cut thru the dog park?

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 24, 2007 2:42 PM

The other blogger to look up is Maddox's friend Tucker Max. Show his site to ECB and watch her head explode.

Posted by UNPAID BLOGGER | July 24, 2007 2:50 PM

1. Also, keep in mind that he hasn't posted much in the last couple years. he used to crank out material with some regularity. Now he'll disappear for months at a time.

Posted by Gomez | July 24, 2007 2:57 PM

Show ECB any number of Maddox (as well as Tucker Max) articles and watch her head explode.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 24, 2007 3:03 PM

Maddox is that guy in the Marvel Universe who can make doubles of himself.

And yeah it was really great for about 3 days around 5 years ago, but his little grr I'm so angry routine wore thin rather quickly.

Posted by Jordyn | July 24, 2007 3:05 PM

Wait, no Madrox is the Marvel guy.

My bad.

Posted by Jordyn | July 24, 2007 3:08 PM

How did ECB make it this far in life without her head exploding?

Posted by Gomez | July 24, 2007 3:14 PM

She has special powers.

Posted by Will in Seattle | July 24, 2007 3:56 PM

Maddox is a dumbass

Posted by laterite | July 24, 2007 4:19 PM

i read Maddox's book in one (free) sitting in a Borders in Redmond--I don't recommend it. but Tucker Max's book (I hope they serve beer in hell) is one of the funniest things i have ever read. we break it out every time we get drunk and do an open reading of one of his stories. my personal favorite is "Tucker Max tries butt sex, hilarity does not ensue"

Posted by ddv | July 24, 2007 4:20 PM

Hello 1997!! lol It's awesome you found him though because he is fairly, well...awesome.

Posted by JessB | July 24, 2007 4:34 PM

I remember the other day when someone mocked The Stranger staff for finding some YouTube video that everyone already knew about.

At first I was just like, "whoa, lay off, i mean not everyone sits on the Internets all day finding sweet-ass funny videos to watch, all right?"

Now I'm like, "it's so true!"

Posted by Sam | July 24, 2007 5:00 PM

She just discovered Maddox, eh? Coming up next, Megan Seling discovers, Bonsai Kitten, Goatse, and shit everyone else saw 10 minutes after using the world wide web for the first time a dozen or so years ago.

Posted by Roger Williams | July 24, 2007 9:52 PM


I wonder if she was one of the folk who claimed they didn't get the 'Internet', they signed up for the world wide web! Oh that would be deliciously horrid!

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 25, 2007 9:05 AM

Hey Megan, theres a cool site called "lemon party". Google it and write a story on it pls?

Posted by megan_fan | July 25, 2007 11:09 AM

Jesus christ, it's like you reporters have jobs and don't spend all day on the internet or something.

Posted by Kiru Banzai | July 25, 2007 12:13 PM

Maddox does not rule, because he does not update his site very often. That is all!

Posted by Tlazolteotl | July 25, 2007 1:12 PM

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