Comments on If We Only Knew

If my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle.

Yes, the phrase "we would we take some action" will surely rouse everyone to nonsensical action.

If we only knew, would we be deriding use of the bus system?

Pathetic wankers.

If only Barbara Bush had decided to abort.

should be "if only we knew." if we only knew means we would only know but not do anything else. ruler slap for feit and the original author.

Only, doesn't your revised version mean "only us, and not anybody else"?

It seems wrong both ways, only you have to remember that "only" has more the one definition. The syntax would only matter in the most common definition, which is only too obviously not the case here.