Towleroad directed me to the delightful press release sent out recently by Amy Sedaris’s people. The key announcement is about the completion of the drafting of an agreement—including “numerous clauses and sub-clauses, with substantial remunerations and disbursements, and also some waivers, and some subwaivers, and also a disclosure or two, and there is one subdisclosure, as I recall, and an addendum or two,” says Lady Sedaris—that would allow Jerri Blank and the rest of Strangers With Candy’s Flatpoint High crew (I love you, Tamela!) to appear on the 500th episode of The Simpsons.

“There is any amount of mischief that Jerri Blank and her gang can cause by moving into Springfield,” says Sedaris. “I think we might be talking about plotlines involving baby farms, crystal meth labs, a prostitution ring or two, a food poisoning epidemic caused by the sale of off-brand Girl Scout cookies made illegally in Manchuria… Fun stuff like that.”

The prospect of a Sedaris-soaked Simpsons episode is indeed promising, but that’s not the only fresh delight hyped in the press release:

A line of Sedaris branded holiday wrapping paper is also in the works, that will most likely be marketed exclusively through Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, and big box retailers such as Costco, Target and Wal-mart. “There will be two basic designs,” says Sedaris. “One will feature photos of Santa, the Christmas Rabbit, half-used spools of Scotch-brand tape, packs of ‘AA’ Energizer batteries, a few broken ornaments, those mini-liquor bottles that are America’s favorite stocking stuffers — and of course photos of me. And the other design, aimed more at the kids market, will feature photos of Santa, the Christmas Rabbit, myself of course, some holly maybe, or maybe not, bowling pins exploding in a strike or a spare, and photos of large checks written by various unmarried aunts, uncles, and sundry parties. All on a background of tens and twenties.”

Finally, there’s the delightful closing line of the official Amy Sedaris bio:

She is the sister of well-known Greek-American radio announcer David Sedaris, a recent subject of scandal.

Read the whole thing here.