Chow Doritos X-13D: Beef Tallow n’ Tartar Sauce Crunch
posted by on July 5 at 11:55 AM
As my fellow convenience-store shoppers are undoubtedly aware, Doritos has launched a new chip with a new gimmick: the X-13D Flavor Experiment, in which consumers are invited to name the company’s new brand of flavored tortilla chips, with one lucky chip-namer awarded a year’s supply of Doritos.
I love taste tests, and like Doritos, and so I was happy to give the new chips a try. Among my group of taste-testers, the predominant identifiable flavor seemed to be tartar sauce, while a quick scan of Doritos-related message boards found others noting a distinct Whopper/ready-made-hamburger-with-all-the-fixins taste.
After eating a half-dozen of the chips, I scanned the list of ingredients, and was mildly icked-out to learn that Doritos X-13D contain both “natural beef flavors” and beef tallow. Thank you, Doritos, for raping my vegetarian face. (That’ll learn me to not read the ingredients list first.)
(If any Stranger officedwellers are interested in sampling Doritos Beef Tallow n’ Tartar Sauce Crunch, the remainder of the bag is on the corner of my desk….there aren’t many, but trust me, a little dab’ll do ya…)
dumbass. Really, who eats processed foods without reading the ingredients these days?
/from a fellow vegetarian
Uch, he's not kidding. Those chips are the mayor of tartar sauce city.
you always want to read the ingredients on processed foods as a vegetarian..
sorry your face got raped all the same.
Dave is NOT a dumbass. Show some respect.
He just gets a little pervy each week with the horror stories in Last Days, but he only fell victim to what happens to most of us at the grocery store.
Can't tell you how many times I've gotten canned goods home - something like canned spinach, which you have every right to think is vegetarian only to find pork in the ingredients. In some parts of the country, it's inconceivable, I guess, that some people don't eat pig. McDonald's was sued because they were spraying their fries with beef tallow and Hindis were upset. They were thinking they were eating a vegetable fried in vegetable oil.
Read those labels, Dave!
It's also harder and more expensive for corporations to get creative with seasonings and spices than it is to throw a wad of lard or suet in their products.
After the hole Hindu hullabaloo regarding McDonald's french fries, you really should have learned your lesson.
I thought they tasted like they were sprayed with deep fried shrimp fryer oil.
'Little dab' is true - after a couple of handfuls, I felt like I had shrimp fryer oil peanut butter slathered thick onto the roof of my mouth.
oh sure, you get a little drunk over the 4th and wake up with spent doritos wrappers all over the bedroom floor. You regret your decision. Maybe you feel a little shame... but rape? It sounds like a clear cut case of consensual facial violation to me. A man has to take responsibility for the things he puts in his mouth.
New Doritos Cool Mutten flavor.
Ooops, new Doritos Cool Mutton flavor!
I actually ate the WHOLE BAG.
Never. Again.
I bet it's fish'n'chips flavor. Cool Ranch is about how experimental I'd like a Dorito to be.
*chuckle* @ 8. :D
we made the mistake of buying a bag a few weeks back. our poker group all concluded it tasted like a bad/cheap cheeseburger. i was not impressed, and i love cheeseburgers.
ddv
Doritos, "Lips and Assholes" flavor.
This new taste sensation will undoubtedly be a hit among many Seattle residents who will predictably find it sodomizingly good.
I submitted my entry to name them
"Freedom Ranch"
Because they taste like Freedom.... and ranch.
Hey Dave, I'd stay away from spicy chip products for awhile especially after the Veggie Booty with bad Chinese spices. Like the pet food, there's bound to be more out there!
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory?id=3343405
I like how the experimental name is an X and some digits... just like the NASA experimental space planes. Way to make yucky chips sound really really cool, Doritos!
you guys are crazy, the taste is CLEARLY ketchup and mustard.
fuck yo tartar sauce!
i've been scared of 'special' chip flavors since that time i bought a bag of tim's coney island flavor which was supposed to taste like a coney dog with all the basic fixins . instead it tatsed like some drunk had vomited hot dog on my chips.
they don't make those any more..
Ooh, I remember those, too, Riz.
They tasted like potato chips that had been left under a slatted Coney Island boardwalk for a week, receiving the hot dog-, beer-, and puke-splatterings of the wandering mobs above...
Don't know why they didn't catch on.
The correct answer for the mystery flavor is.......
AMPM Hamburger
Tah-Dah and fuck off
I miss the Doritos Taco Bell Taco Supreme chip. I swear I could actually taste the lettuce and ground beef.
The Doritos Spicy Sweet Chili Tortilla Chips are good too if you can find them. They do about two limited edition chips every couple months.
Beef Tallow? I have to get me some of these chips. I will then crush them up and coat large cube steaks with it and fry them in butter. I will then top the end product with bacon and a pan gravy. All this will be done while wearing leather boots and a freshly made fur coat.
Seriously though, they don't sound appetizing at all, and I don't mind animal products. (I don't need an ethics or health lecture, I've made my choice and I'm sticking to it)
I, too, tried the "bring out a bag for a group of guests and try to guess the flavor."
We came up with "Beef-a-Roni."
Then we flushed the 3/4ths of the remaining bag down the garbage disposal...because it was foul shit.
YES Elswinger!!!! The Taco Supreme Doritos were the BEST!
I LOVE these! At first sniff they reminded me of Ketchup flavored chips that you can only find in Canada - Love those man!!
My mouth is watering already and I can't find them in Portland anymore, dammit!
They totally taste like a Whopper with cheese! Yeah, I'm a carnivore and I don't mind at all!
thank you folks for the Coney Island descriptions!
My stomach hurts from laughing so much!
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