Chow A Lunch Worse than Hitler!
posted by July 9 at 9:05 AMon
A highly organized, long-standing and popular hate movement against the Jewish people has been uncovered in rural Montana.
According to sources shadowy and unnamable, this hateful anti-Jewish conspiracy began circa 1929 in a rough and crazy town called “Butte”, and if the line at the drive-thru is any indication, it shows absolutely no sign of abating. Ladies and gentlemench, I give you, “Pork Chop John’s Original Pork Chop Sandwich“…
These artery-murdering-and-Hebrew-hating lunch options are a recipe right out of the Himmler family cookbook—-composed of a thick slab of breaded and deep-fried white-meat pork —-and they are served daily (by the thousands sometimes!) at two convenient locations where no Jew has ever chewed.
As everyone knows, kasrut (or “kosher”) law absolutely, totally, completely forbids the eating of pork in any and all of it’s delicious, bacony forms. Obviously, the greater and lesser anti-Semitic implications of a breaded, deep-fried pork sandwich cannot be overstated or denied.
But it is surely the crack-like addictive quality of these diabolical little burgers that sets them apart—-and should have the various Jewish groups that concern themselves with such nonsense most alarmed. According to an official statement from Pork Chop John himself, “People claim to have “withdrawal symptoms” when they go too long without a pork chop sandwich, and our Butte restaurants are often one of the first stops for folks visiting after a long absence.” Indeed.
“Oy vey! This scrumptious pork sandwich is obviously blatant anti-Semitism, and a terrorist-style attack on the Jewish people and way of life in general, and the Nation of Israel specifically. It shall be appropriately met with the full force of the Israeli Army,” the Israeli Prime Minister will say probably, just as soon as he or she reads the detailed email I sent him or her all about it. So, WATCH YER ASS, “Butte”!
Breaded deep-fried pork chop sandwiches are best enjoyed with a thin slice of equally un-Kosher cheese and schmear of spicy mustard. Shalom!