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Monday, July 9, 2007

A Lunch Worse than Hitler!

posted by on July 9 at 9:05 AM

A highly organized, long-standing and popular hate movement against the Jewish people has been uncovered in rural Montana.

According to sources shadowy and unnamable, this hateful anti-Jewish conspiracy began circa 1929 in a rough and crazy town called “Butte”, and if the line at the drive-thru is any indication, it shows absolutely no sign of abating. Ladies and gentlemench, I give you, “Pork Chop John’s Original Pork Chop Sandwich“…

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These artery-murdering-and-Hebrew-hating lunch options are a recipe right out of the Himmler family cookbook—-composed of a thick slab of breaded and deep-fried white-meat pork —-and they are served daily (by the thousands sometimes!) at two convenient locations where no Jew has ever chewed.

As everyone knows, kasrut (or “kosher”) law absolutely, totally, completely forbids the eating of pork in any and all of it’s delicious, bacony forms. Obviously, the greater and lesser anti-Semitic implications of a breaded, deep-fried pork sandwich cannot be overstated or denied.

But it is surely the crack-like addictive quality of these diabolical little burgers that sets them apart—-and should have the various Jewish groups that concern themselves with such nonsense most alarmed. According to an official statement from Pork Chop John himself, “People claim to have “withdrawal symptoms” when they go too long without a pork chop sandwich, and our Butte restaurants are often one of the first stops for folks visiting after a long absence.” Indeed.

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Oy vey! This scrumptious pork sandwich is obviously blatant anti-Semitism, and a terrorist-style attack on the Jewish people and way of life in general, and the Nation of Israel specifically. It shall be appropriately met with the full force of the Israeli Army,” the Israeli Prime Minister will say probably, just as soon as he or she reads the detailed email I sent him or her all about it. So, WATCH YER ASS, “Butte”!

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Breaded deep-fried pork chop sandwiches are best enjoyed with a thin slice of equally un-Kosher cheese and schmear of spicy mustard. Shalom!

RSS icon Comments

1

Disturbing indeed. Next time I find myself in Butte America I'll have to investigate this myself.

Posted by rtw | July 9, 2007 9:30 AM
2

Also isn't having meat touching dairy non-kosher so that is why cheeseburgers are non-kosher?

Posted by Jake of 8bitjoystick.com | July 9, 2007 9:32 AM
3

You're a dirty racist. Wrapped in delicious bacon.

Shalom!

Posted by Griff! | July 9, 2007 9:33 AM
4

Oy vey!

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 9, 2007 9:37 AM
5

Feh. These are nothing but a cheap rip-off of that mid-western delicacy, the pork cutlet sandwich, in which the pork is pounded to a thickness of no more than 1/4 inch, so that the meat is double the diameter of the bun, then deep fried. Served with mustard, mayo, ketchup, lettuce and tomato. No cheese.

My favorite childhood fast-ish food treat. Mmmm. Must go visit auntie in MO soon.

Posted by elm | July 9, 2007 9:57 AM
6

I want one right fucking now! Now if they could make the bread out of French fries. :yum:

Posted by elswinger | July 9, 2007 10:05 AM
7

Not entirely related, but I had banana bread French toast for the first time yesterday. It was delicious, and difficult.

Posted by Gloria | July 9, 2007 10:27 AM
8

Been to Pork Chop John's a couple of times. Enjoyed the pork chop sandwich.

Ah, the joys of Reformed Judaism. (At least the 1970's, East Coast, overwhelmingly secular version in which I was raised.)

Posted by David Goldstein | July 9, 2007 11:16 AM
9

yes! i think I still have my pork chop john's frequent flyer card from college at MSU. the best part was that it was attached to a liquor store. a one stop shop.

Posted by angie | July 9, 2007 11:21 AM
10

I could never believe in a God that wouldn't let me eat pork and shellfish. Nor one that wouldn't let me eat beef.

Posted by elswinger | July 9, 2007 11:28 AM
11

of course, the sacred law of english language would also ban this slog post, for the heinous

"all of it’s delicious, bacony forms"

Rather than "all of its...

Posted by john | July 9, 2007 11:36 AM
12

Hitler was a vegetarian. Chew on that, foodie!

Posted by NapoleonXIV | July 9, 2007 11:42 AM
13

I love eating meat. If only every steak I ordered came with a complimentary picture of the (preferably named) cow.

Posted by Mr. Poe | July 9, 2007 11:52 AM
14

Only a Montana Gay Boy could write about that sandwhich. Does Hardee's still have their pork chop sandwich? (I think that they had one)

Posted by Cato the Younger Younger | July 9, 2007 12:25 PM
15

Ha ha ha... There's nothing kosher about any fast food that I'm aware of, really. Plus, that looks good.

Posted by Dougsf | July 9, 2007 12:33 PM
16

@2: Yes. Milk is symbolic of life; meat of death. You can't even store them together.

Posted by supergp | July 9, 2007 1:28 PM
17

Please. Compared to the Spanish, Pork Chop John is an amateur.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 9, 2007 1:34 PM
18

I wonder if anyone has ordered the Pork Chop sandwich and added bacon and ham.

FYI, here's a link to the Roadfood.com review with more pictures.

http://www.roadfood.com/Reviews/Overview.aspx?RefID=341

Posted by elswinger | July 9, 2007 2:07 PM
19

BTW, Is there anywhere in Seattle that serves Chicken & Waffles?

Posted by elswinger | July 9, 2007 2:28 PM
20

On an unrelated note: Nice sunglasses!

Posted by flamingbanjo | July 9, 2007 3:30 PM
21

Feh. These are nothing but a cheap rip-off of that mid-western delicacy, the pork cutlet sandwich, in which the pork is pounded to a thickness of no more than 1/4 inch, so that the meat is double the diameter of the bun, then deep fried. Served with mustard, mayo, ketchup, lettuce and tomato. No cheese.

My favorite childhood fast-ish food treat. Mmmm. Must go visit auntie in MO soon.


Heretic! They are called breaded pork tenderloins, and the only proper place to get them is in Indiana. And the proper way to eat them is with pickles, onions, and mustard. But no cheese, ick.

Posted by Oneiros Dreaming | July 9, 2007 8:32 PM
22

I found the pork tenderloin sandwiches of Iowa to indeed, be quite enjoyable...

Posted by mrgoolsby | July 11, 2007 9:48 PM

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