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While most prisons deal with such an offense internally, ...

That's an unfortunate turn of phrase.

Posted by greg | July 25, 2007 7:38 PM

Wow...that's messed up. Perhaps that bitch should get a different job. Sounds to me like she gets off on busting them for getting off. The inmates are probably doing it more blatantly just "rub her the wrong way". "oooooh 60 more days on top of my already 10 year sentence."

Posted by JessB | July 25, 2007 8:09 PM

"No hands went up"---

ha, exactly!! all of them were "down there"

hubba hubba & +5 for the self love reference.

Posted by hipsterlite | July 25, 2007 8:18 PM

the female guard gets all turned on and takes it out on the male 'mates ....absurd use of court time and resources, and he should appeal

Posted by selma | July 25, 2007 8:53 PM

Finally, some real justice! I was so SICK of hearing about such BS as prison industrial complex, prison rape, and gang violence. Glad resources are spent getting to the real "meat" of the problem.

Posted by a.m. | July 25, 2007 8:59 PM

Won't less masturbating in prison mean tons more gay sex?

I can definitely get behind that!


Posted by Original Andrew | July 25, 2007 9:05 PM

To quote Charlton Heston, "I'll stop masturbating when you pry my old crinkled cock from my cold, dead hands."

Posted by elswinger | July 25, 2007 9:08 PM

Inmate prosecuted for jacking off in his cell! Like, where are they expecting him to jack off? Malaysia?

I could understand being creeped out if the guy was masturbating and staring at her, but it sounds more like she just wants inmates to keep their hands off their filthy horrible distressing peenars.

Posted by Kiru Banzai | July 25, 2007 9:13 PM

The article didn't go into detail, but it seems like it could have been a "look at my cock, bitch" situation, not a poor guy needing to satisfy his most primal and personal desire situation. Yes, a penis may have not been going through orgasm as much as its owner wanted. Sometimes that happens. I know it must be very tragic in its way, but really, calm down. Penises around the world will see another day.

Posted by S | July 25, 2007 10:22 PM

So this is why they call it "doing hard time".

Posted by kinaidos | July 25, 2007 10:44 PM

I was trying to come up with an amusing quip using the phrase "Veal Pen" but I'm just not articulate enough this morning.....

Posted by rubyred | July 26, 2007 10:40 AM


Yeah, it kind of sounds like it. Has no one here seen Silence of the Lambs? I bet if she hadn't been behind a glass window, he would have thrown his cum at her.

Posted by keshmeshi | July 26, 2007 11:20 AM

Talk about cruel and unsual punishment! Sorry but if you can't jerk off (especially when you are in fucking prison!) life just ain't worth living my friends!

Posted by Mike | August 8, 2007 12:10 PM

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