Last week, I found myself writing for the Stranger and my General Exam more or less at the same time; these are orthogonal forms of writing. It caused me to reflect upon science and the English language.

(Committee members, stop reading here.)

The first paragraph of my alternative proposal:

I. As it is now.

With an undisputed ability to differentiate into cells from all three germ lineages, embryonic stem cells may provide a replacement cell source for grafting into weakly regenerating tissues. This broad potency can result in the introduction of inappropriate contaminating cell types—including teratoma-generating undifferentiated cells—during grafting.

I hate this paragraph, and will change it a dozen times before turning in the exam.

II. Short, simple declarative sentences.

Embryonic stem cells become everything. That includes heart or brain cells. Sick people need new heart and brain cells. Great! They also become unwanted cells. We only want the right cells. Grafting undifferentiated cells causes tumors! Bummer.

I would write this in crayon.

III. Passive (more so) and (increasingly) awkward.

Tissues have the potential to fail in regeneration. Formation of cells from multiple lineages, all three germ lineages, can occur during differentiation of embryonic stem cells. There are desired and undesired cell types that can be made to exist. It has been observed that teratomas can form. This event occurs particularly when undifferentiated embryonic stem cells were grafted.

This version is depressingly close to what I actually have in the draft.

IV. Mudede(-like)

The embryonic stem cell desires to become everything; being the total of the body is the central purpose of its existence. Our purposes require the embryonic stem cell to go against its most fundamental nature; we must turn the cell that can become anything into a shadow of itself. Such crimes require powerful tools.

I would love to turn in this version. Alas, I would promptly fail.

Tune in to 710 KIRO for this week’s installment of the Stranger Newshour, when Eli Sanders reports live from Chicago at the YearlyKos convention.

7pm on KIRO with David Goldstein.

Sorry, but The Stranger’s digital camera is no more (hopefully just because of dead batteries). So, sadly, no pictures of Clinton’s meeting with DailyKos users and bloggers this morning.

But I’ll tell you a little about it: There was some tension in the air because of Clinton’s back-and-forth over whether she would actually meet one-on-one with attendees at YearlyKos. She began by emphasizing that she’d rearranged her schedule to make it possible for her to meet with conference attendees (she ultimately met one-on-one with them this morning, while the other candidates will do the same this afternoon).

Then she pivoted to a self-deprecating acknowledgment of the fact that she’s not always the favored presidential candidate in the liberal blogosphere.

“I’m aware that not everyone says nice things about me,” Clinton told the crowd. “Let me start by saying something unexpected and that is: “Thank you. Thank you for being so involved in helping create a modern progressive movement in America.”

You could feel some of the tension beginning to drain out of the room, making space for the select crowd of about 300 to listen as she then answered their questions on health care, NAFTA, Welfare reform, DOMA, and telecommunications law. They were wonky questions, and Clinton gave wonky answers, obviously well aware that people who come to conferences of political bloggers tend to be… wonks.

Who knows how the appearance will ultimately play out. I’m sure DailyKos will run a poll on its blog soon after YearlyKos is over to see what people think of the candidates after their appearances today. But my sense was that Clinton charmed the Kossaks in much the same way she’s said to have charmed other smallish rooms of people over the last few years—with self-deprecation, an ingratiating manner, and a clear command of just about any policy issue that gets thrown at her.

I’m sitting in the larger candidate forum right now, listening to Gravel, Richardson, Dodd, Edwards, Clinton, Obama, and Kucinich duke it out in front of all 1,400 of the conference attendees. Then I’ll be trying to squeeze in to some of the one-on-one sessions with the other candidates afterward. Hope to be able to blog more later.

Sounds Outside (MUSIC) Citizens, the end of summer is approaching and this is your last chance for live music in the great outdoors of Cal Anderson Park. If you’ve been to a previous Sounds Outside production, you know to expect the unexpected, like last month’s naked bike parade. The final installment of Sounds Outside stars Seattle’s out-jazz favorites: saxophonist Skerik (in his loose-grooving quartet McTuff) and keyboardist Wayne Horvitz (with his skronkadelic Trio KVH). (Cal Anderson Park, 1635 11th Ave, www.soundsoutside.com. 2—8 pm, free, all ages.) JONATHAN ZWICKEL

The U.S.O.S.O.S.O.U.S.O.B. Tour (CABARET) Created and hosted by the world’s preeminent Latino Elvis impersonator (El Vez) and the world’s preeminent Swedish housewife (the Swedish Housewife), this USO extravaganza promises “irreverent political repartee” in a burlesquey setting. Among the evening’s stars: Princess Schmooquan, the Twinkie-regurgitating, rubber-chicken-wielding enchantress who stole so many hearts at last spring’s Stranger Gong Show. (The Pink Door, 1919 Post Alley, 443-3241. 11 pm, $12, 21+.) DAVID SCHMADER

More Stranger Suggests for this week.

Brother to brother; man to man; soul to soul.
Robert:

Zimbabwe’s President Robert Mugabe has approved a new law allowing the security services to intercept postal, internet and telephone communications.

The Senate bowed to White House pressure last night and passed a Republican plan for overhauling the federal government’s terrorist surveillance laws, approving changes that would temporarily give U.S. spy agencies expanded power to eavesdrop on foreign suspects without a court order.

You can move to Oklahoma!

Seriously though, the 10th Circuit Court ruled yesterday that an Oklahoma law preventing the state from recognizing same sex adoptions from other states was unconstitutional.

Here’s the FU from the ruling to the Oklahoma State Dept. of Health (which had appealed an earlier district court ruling that, indeed, the OK law was unconstitutional:

We hold that final adoption orders by a state court of competent jurisdiction are judgments that must be given full faith and credit under the Constitution by every other state in the nation. Because the Oklahoma statute at issue categorically rejects a class of out-of-state adoption decrees, it violates the Full Faith and Credit Clause.

The analysis over at Decision of the Day is that 10th Circuit ruling will run into trouble at the Supreme Court level.

But for now, Oklahoma is gay friendly whether it wants to be or not. The Oklahoma Dept. of Health originally tried to cut off a court ruling by honoring a gay adoption in this case so that the plaintiffs would just go away.

I heard this at a forum at YearlyKos yesterday, in which one of the panelists welcomed the writer for The New Yorker into the world of instant publishing. He stood up and took a sort-of bow. Here’s the beginning of his first entry:

Wham.

August 02, 2007

Bam.

Here goes my blogging virginity. It isn’t so bad. The earth isn’t moving yet, but it seldom does the first time, does it?

Only on the Slog, Rick. Only on the Slog.

And then, about 200 words into the afterglow…

Jesus Christ. So that’s where the days go.

by Rebecca Tapscott

Peeping Sam: Under pressure from the White House, Congress approved an extension of a GOP wireless surveillance program, with a vote of 60 to 28.

Conflict in the Congress: Democrats and Republicans clash on major issues before August recess. While Dems hope to make progress as the new majority, Republicans make accusations of heavy-handedness.

Bush visits bridge site: President Bush arrived in Minneapolis at the site of the bridge collapse. He will be accompanied by Transportation Secretary Mary Peters, who will discuss future inspection and precautions for similarly structured bridges.

Eek! : Gordon Brown called for a temporary halt of British exports of pigs, sheep and cows due to an outbreak of foot-and-mouth disease.

War for Drugs: As elections approach in Guatemala, violent attacks on politicians and political activists are rampant. This year, the violence is attributed to drug traffickers, hoping to gain influence in the newly elected government.

Crash and burn: A helicopter crashed near Easton on Thursday starting a forest fire—three of four bodies have been recovered and identified, but the fire still burns.

Dangerous Chinese import of the week: The Consumer Product Safety Commission and the Raleigh bicycle company of Kent have recalled Chinese-made bike parts. Three injuries have been reported due to broken bike forks.

You are what you eat: 80 Seattleites sign onto the 100-mile-diet, which supports local industries, decreases the need to transport foods cross country and allows people to eat fresh—but no more chocolate?

Liar liar: Reggie Buddle, a man convicted of impersonating a decorated marine and marine chaplain, will request a new location for his community service due to perceived anger from the military community.

Washington State and Iraq: Three Fort Lewis soldiers on extended stay in Iraq were killed by an improvised explosive, bringing Washington State casualties of uniformed military units to 76.

If the Public Disclosure Commission isn’t convinced yet that Dino Rossi’s supposed non-partisan, non-profit, Forward Washington, is an insult to state ethics rules, here’s just a little more evidence:

Forward Washington’s policy committee member, Matt Manweller, Chairman of the Kittitas County Republicans and Assistant Professor of Political Science at Central Washington University (where he’s faculty adviser to the College Republicans), was in Seattle this afternoon speaking at the Discovery Institute’s third annual Slade Gorton Summer Lecture Series.

Anybody catch Manweller’s talk?

I’m two hours ahead, so it’s cocktail hour here at YearlyKos in Chicago (as the man in the background of this photo clearly knows).

Foreground: Darcy Burner, who wasn’t drinking (yet) when I ran into her. Why is she here? First answer: “This is a group of people who are working very hard to change the way politics works in this country.”

Really? Isn’t the potential for future netroots fund-raising a big draw?

“Certainly my presence isn’t hurting in that regard,” Burner told me.

Shameless Plug: My New Favorite Band, Plugs.

Sing To Me: There is a Better World—the Internet.

R&B & 501(c3): B David Stengel’s Non-Profit R&B Group’s Set List.

Indie Roots & You: Hee Haw, Y’all!

Who’s a Creep?: Megan Seling Gets Sexy with Radiohead.

Canadian, Man: Jonathan Zwickel on the Guess Who.

Greatly Exaggerated: Donte Parks on the Rumored Death of Oscillate.

Vote or Die: Who’s the Best NW MC?

Best Band Name of the Day: Ugly Baby.

Yesterday Hillary Clinton received boos-in-absentia when YearlyKos organizers announced that yes, she would show up for tomorrow’s presidential candidate forum, but no, she would not attend a one-on-one session with Kos-types afterward.

Today, after being attacked by Obama over her reluctance to do what all the other candidates are doing, the buzz here at YearlyKos is that Clinton has changed her mind.

This afternoon, the NAACP held a press conference to announce a tactical shift in dealing with police misconduct. On July 31st, NAACP president James Bible and the Law Office of Christopher Carney sent a letter to Seattle city attorney Tom Carr’s office, requesting assault charges be filed against officers David Blackmer and Marcos Ortiz.

As The Stranger reported in July, Blackmer and Ortiz were involved in the arrest of Carl Sandidge. In August, 2005 Sandidge, and his friend Derek Frazier, were headed to a bus stop downtown when they were stopped by several officers, who claimed Frazier was carrying a “gang flag.” Officer Blackmer Tasered Sandidge several times and, while Sandidge was handcuffed and being dragged to a police transport van, Ortiz struck him in the stomach. Sandidge, who had no criminal history, was charged with obstruction, assaulting an officer and resisting arrest. All of the charges against Sandidge were dismissed after officers gave conflicting testimony during trial.

At today’s press conference, James Bible —who was one of Sandidge’s trial attorneys-
stated that “this was not simply misconduct, this was assault. If the city fails to prosecute [the officers], the NACCP and the Law Office of Christopher Carney will file [assault charges].”

Bible has asked the city attorney’s office to respond by August 8th.

Pot Is Five Times More Damaging than Cigarettes: So purports the big headline out of England.

While the study found that only those who smoked tobacco suffered from the crippling lung disease emphysema, cannabis use still stopped the lungs working properly.

“The extent of this damage was directly related to the number of joints smoked, with higher consumption linked to greater incapacity,” said the authors of the report published in the medical journal Thorax.

“The effect on the lungs of each joint was equivalent to smoking between 2.5 and five cigarettes in one go.”

The findings come less than a week after researchers said using marijuana increased the risk of developing a psychotic illness such as schizophrenia.

The government is currently considering whether cannabis should be reclassified as a more serious drug because of the dangers associated with stronger strains.

Never mind that packed between the lines of this report is Parliamentary conservatives’ agenda to ratchet up penalties for dopers. Never mind that the findings have little application because people who smoke pot—especially the stronger strains—take only a few hits and stop, while cigarette smokers just keep smoking, smoking, smoking. If you want to convince us pot is actually causing more harm than cigarettes, show us the bodies.

Speaking of Defending Legal Drugs: Nine days after Justice Department officials told a federal prosecutor to go easy on the makers of OxyContin for pushy advertisements and he refused, the prosecutor was slated to be fired.

Speaking of Strong-Arming Federal Officials to Appease Pharmaceutical Companies: GlaxoSmithKline persuaded the FDA to keep Avandia, the blood-sugar regulating and heart-attack-causing medication, on the market.

Speaking of Federal Corruption in Medicine: Feds jumped through a loophole to dodge a lawsuit that would require them to disclose marijuana’s medical benefits.

Move Over, Dr. Kevorkian: Dr. Hootan Roozrokh is catching heat for allegedly escorting a dying man to the Pearly Gates.

Speaking of the Bud of Christ: Pastor accused of peddling pot.

“Inconceivable!” Wealthy cocaine cartels infiltrate Colombian government.

Speaking of Beating the Government at Its Own Game: The softball team for two drug-policy-reform nonprofits took the lead ranking in Washington, D.C.’s Capitol Hill softball league—beating out the DNC and RNC teams. The White House’s Office of National Drug Control Policy team, We Czar the Champions, had refused to enjoy America’s favorite pastime with the drug-policy-reforming ball club, the One Hitters.

Ooh, baby. It’s Friday!

Since movies keep being released at a ridiculous and overwhelming pace, this week brings another extra-long On Screen.

But first, the final installment of The Bourne Whatchamacallit (for some reason I never remember the title of this damn movie… okay, Ultimatum!), reviewed by Andrew Wright. Verdict: awesome.

And in On Screen this week: The Ten (David Schmader says it’s bad, and I accept the word of Schmader, but isn’t the end of the trailer stupid and hilarious?), Becoming Jane (don’t give me Anne Hathaway as Jane Austen; girl has cow eyes, say I), Hot Rod (“disjointed, forced, shallow, screaming with wasted talent, and only kind of funny,” says Lindy West), Arctic Tale (March of the Penguins for liberals and gays and feminists and black people, say I. Also, cute polar bear cubs!), Flanders (me again: Bruno Dumont’s latest reminds us that Euro naturalism is not natural), Bratz (Charles is pro), Vitus (how many reviews did I write this week?! It’s about an evil baby genius. Not good.), and El Cantante (“about as artless and clichéd as musician biopics come,” says Eric Grandy).

In Limited Runs this week, I’d direct your attention to Angel and the Badman in 16mm at Central Cinema, The Beast at Grand Illusion, Hobo Film Festival in Georgetown, Aki Kaurismaki’s Lights in the Dusk at SIFF Cinema, and Jacques Tati’s Playtime at Northwest Film Forum.

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar—fundamentalists Christians who live in Arkansas and started having babies when Michelle was 21—just added child number 17 (Jennifer, whose name, like all the other Duggar children, starts with a “J” for “Jesus”) to their family, and say they have no plans of stopping. Michelle has now been pregnant approximately 11 of her 40 years. As for why she wants to have still more babies—specifically, girl babies— Michelle told the Associated Press: “we love the ruffles and lace.”

Of course, the real reason Michelle and Jim Bob want more babies is that they’re devotees of Quiverfull, a fundamentalist Christian movement whose members believe in “letting God plan your family.” They believe, in other words, that women are merely empty vessels to be filled, and that compulsory pregnancy (in the words of one (male) Quiverfull member, “Who’s going to do that (go without sex)?”) is the duty of the woman toward her male master/husband. Not surprisingly, they also believe that birth control causes abortion; that women should stay at home and educate their children while the family patriarch provides; that corporal punishment is the only way to keep a large litter of kids in line; and that no matter how many children you have, “the Lord will provide” for them. Also not surprisingly, most of the members of this movement are middle- to upper-middle-class and white; the Quiverfull web site says not one word about what less well-to-do women should do with 12 kids and no job. In all cases, the Quiverfull believers believe, the Lord will provide.

The following passage is excerpted from a book called The Patriarch’s Path on the Quiverfull web site:

Sometimes I think about Susanna Wesley….they were in an incredible amount of debt, she had a very unhelpful husband and she was ill much of her life. I wonder, if she would have had the option to use birth control, would John and Charles Wesley have ever been born? (They were some of her younger children). I tend to think that she would have been quiver minded, but we’ll never know, because thankfully, she did not have the option or the same social pressure that so many ladies have today. Suzanna herself, was the 24th of 24 children! Who would have blamed her mother if she had said, “surely God knows we have enough children, one little simple surgery can cure this!”

That’s where I’ll be this weekend: far from the Blue Angels, which, despite what anyone says, I still hate.

But! For the Erica C. Barnetts of this world, there will be not one but two ways to experience the Angels this weekend: outside, neck craned, sure — but also at Western Bridge, where the planes will become part of the ambient sound installation there today and tomorrow at 1:30 pm.

Should be intense. (My review of Bill Fontana’s installation here, and a vodcast with Fontana himself here.)

Oh, and this from WB director Eric Fredericksen:

After Saturday, Western Bridge will close until mid-September, when we open “Insubstantial Pageant Faded,” with work by Martin Creed, Trisha Donnelly, Neil Goldberg, Rachel Harrison, Jeppe Hein, Anthony McCall, Julia Schmidt, Alex Schweder, Dan Webb, Jordan Wolfson, and a few others.

Saturday and Sunday at Seattle Center’s Center House, starts at noon, free.

The Arab Festival gives visitors a chance to learn more about the arts and traditions of a fascinating, far-reaching culture that is one of the oldest in the world and comprises 22 countries ….Includes musical and traditional dance performances, children’s activities, authentic Arabic food and deliciously strong coffee, a traditional souk with local Arab vendors and organizations, and a fashion show.

I’m also excited about tomorrow’s first ever Chinatown/I.D. night market (6-11 pm).

For your enjoyment:

It’s Friday, no one’s expecting you to get any work done anyway. (That’s to Colin S. for passing it along.)

A caller reports that there’s a gunman at 6th and Harrison outside EMP.

Well, SPD tells us a victim called in at 12:24 pm to say he was at 6th and Thomas where a suspect tried to stab him with a screw driver. Earlier, the suspect had tried to break into the victim’s car. The suspect fled, but the victim reports: He “might have a gun in his cheeto bag.”

Five or six officers are searching the area for the suspect.

Today, the PI endorsed Port Commission incumbent Bob Edwards in the primary. (We endorsed Gael Tarleton.)

The PI broke the story earlier this year about Port CEO Mic Dinsmore’s controversial retirement deal—a deal that resulted in an ethics investigation.

As a key ally of Dinsmore and Port Commissioner Pat Davis (the main scandalistas), Edwards was at the center of that scandal. He’s also at the center of a status quo Port Commission that is about as popular in Seattle these days as trans fats.

PI reporter Kristen Millares Bolt, who broke the Dinsmore scandal, reportedly sat in on the PI’s ed board meetings with the Port candidates.

I don’t know if the PI ed board also included her in their endorsement discussions, but if I were her, I’d be bummed about the decision.

Is the PI going out of its way to prove that there’s a separation between editorial opinion and straight-up news—and so, pshaw on Millares Bolt’s great reporting?

It’d be one thing if Edwards was an incredibly impressive Commissioner. But he’s not. He’s part of a status quo group that has excelled at secrecy, financial inadequacy, sweetheart deals, and embarrassing gaffes.

It’s one thing to stand by the split between the news page and the editorial page, but when your news page does a bang up job proving that a Commission is incompetent, you’d think the editors would recognize there’s also a valuable connection between the news page and the editorial page. That is: Editorial opinions oughta be supported by the facts. Well, news reporter Millares Bolt was armed with those.

Dumb endorsement guys.

More HUMP! info here.

In the dialectics of the Hollywood mind, the spectacle of New York’s 9/11 and Baghdad’s Shock and Awe combine to give us this final image.

Pretty soon prying parents could be able to know exactly what their kids are looking at at every moment, thanks to a proposed “super V-chip” that Congress is urging the Federal Communications Commission to develop. The chip would allow parents to screen content on all their children’s devices, including cell phones, laptops, and home computers. Senator Mark Pryor (D-Ark.) said the new technology is necessary because kids these days can access “inappropriate” content on more than just television and (ha!) radio. “It’s an uphill battle for parents trying to protect their kids from viewing inappropriate programming,” he told MediaWeek. “I believe there is a whole new generation of technology that can provide an additional layer of help for these parents.”

The V-chip technology reminds me a lot of another privacy-invading technology touted as a panacea for worried parents: implantable microchips, which would enable parents to keep track of their kids at every moment. A recent abduction has resparked discussion of implantable chips in England; never mind that your child’s odds of getting abducted by a stranger are significantly lower than that they’ll be struck by lightning. Parents want technology to stand in for what parents used to do—talking to their kids, telling them to stay away from online predators, trusting that they’ll listen and learn lessons by experience. When you’re on an electronic leash, you can never get away with anything—and getting away with things is what adolescence, and growing up, is all about. By monitoring our precious children’s every movement (instead of, say, talking to them realistically about the risks of various behaviors and letting them know we trust them to behave reasonably responsibly), we make it impossible for them to learn their lessons the hard way, through experience.

A postcard from the Ashton-Drake Galleries showed up in my house – I don’t know where it came from – and it is creeping me out. Bad. Here’s the picture on the front:

Is this a preemie doll? Is it a piece of anti-abortion propaganda designed to ascribe the qualities of a whole baby to a fetus-sized humanoid? Or is it just an innocent doll that happens to be terrifying? I start reading: “’A Handful of Love,’ the first Heavenly Handfuls issue, is a tiny masterpiece of sculpting, detailed down to the creases on the bottoms of this little baby’s feet. And she fits neatly in the palm of your hand…. Her soft body makes her easy to pose in a multitude of ways.”

“These dolls are not toys; they are fine collectibles to be enjoyed by adult collectors.”

In Miami last December, I met a guy handing out cards for a newish organization he’d just started. He was a refugee from a museum (the Denver Art Museum, I believe) who wanted to work somewhere more like a laboratory. So he opened the Belmar Lab just outside Denver.

The Laboratory of Art and Ideas at Belmar (The Lab) is a unique institution that combines elements of a museum, think tank, and public forum. Focused on contemporary art and culture, The Lab offers international art exhibitions, lectures, performances, symposia, and publications. A small organization with a big cultural vision, The Lab offers all audiences the opportunity to engage in both personal reflection and public discussion on contemporary art.

Could be BS, right?

Except check out the swoony lineup this summer. (Instead of standard artist-and-curator lectures, the lab focuses on subjects (subjects like the sort the library means when it asks whether you want to search for a book based on author or subject). Passionate lovers of the subjects, people who know a ton, do presentations together, on the same bill.)

Swiss Typography & TV Theme Songs Thursday June 7, 2007 with Joel Swanson & Scott Kinnamon

Kurt Cobain & Solar Eclipses
Thursday June 14, 2007
with Patrick Brown & Jim Downing

Practical Democracy & Deadly Jellyfish
Thursday June 21, 2007
with David Hildebrand & Alyce Todd

Carnivorous Plants & Color-Field Painting
Thursday June 28, 2007
with John Bayard & Dean Sobel

Earth Art & Goat Cheese
Thursday July 5, 2007
with Elissa Auther & Michele Wells

Capoeira & Le Corbusier
Thursday July 12, 2007
with Canto de Galo & Bob Nauman

Chinese Opera & Alfred Hitchcock
Thursday July 19, 2007
with Joanna Lee & Thomas Delapa

Walt Whitman & Whole Hog Cooking
Thursday July 26, 2007
with Jake Adam York & Joe York

Tequila & Dark Energy in the Universe
Thursday August 2, 2007
with Matt Ortiz & Ka Chun Yu

Soul Food & Existentialism
Thursday, August 9, 2007
with Adrian Miller & Maria Talero

Prairie Dogs & Gertrude Stein
Thursday, August 16, 2007
with Jonathon Proctor & Julie Carr

Japanese Anime & Zora Neale Hurston
Thursday, August 23, 2007
with Alexandre O. Philippe & Philip Joseph

Marxism & Kittens, Kittens, Kittens
Thursday, August 30, 2007
with Gillian Silverman & The Denver Dumb Friends League

posted by Jeff Kirby

Oh the ways people find to get high. Can’t afford to buy drugs? Don’t worry; you can make them yourself from your own poop. Put some dook in a plastic bottle and cap it off, leaving enough room for methane to gather, let it stew for a couple hours, then huff the gas that formed in the bottle. The drug is called Jenkem, invented by street children in Namibia who were too poor to afford sanitary drugs. Supposedly, the high is massively strong and hallucinogenic. Here is an account of a Jenkem trip:

So I was on Wikipedia the other day checking out the stuff on hallucinogens when I discovered a popular chemical in Africa called ‘Jenkem.’ After reading up on the Internet about some popular recipes, a few friends of mine decided to go and produce some of this potent hallucinogen. The first part of our journey involved a trip to the local sewage treatment plant, where we filled some empty coke bottles half-full with the potent sludge we found in the cleaning tanks.

We hid the bottles behind a bush, letting them ferment for a few hours while we went to smoke some marijuana. After about 4 hours of fermentation, we went to retrieve our putrid creations.

One at a time, we all inhaled the jenkem we had created. The odor was viscious, but my god it was worth it. What came after I cannot describe. A euphoric high, not unlike coccaine, but with strong hallucinations of times past — I saw dead relatives during my trip. It was almost magical.

The onset of jenkem is probably 10 seconds after inhalation, with the most severe hallucinations happening probably 20 minutes into the trip. Beware that if you try this wonderful substance that you’re going to be “out of it” for several hours after inhaling, and really it will take several days for you to fully recover. One of the downsides of jenkem is that you constantly have that taste of sewage in your breathing for several days after the fact.

After subsequent trips, there were a few characteristics we felt made for better trips with Jenkem. First off, if you visited the sewage treatment plant at around mid-day on a sunny day we found we got the best highs. Secondly, make sure you have someone nearby who is not high on the substance (believe me, once you’ve been introduced to it, you don’t want to not be high on it… so find someone who isn’t big into drugs to do this).

Hooray for human innovation. Thanks to Shirley for the tip.

Ben Beres’s exquisitely detailed prints went on display last night at Davidson Gallery in Occidental Square. My favorite, Artist Statement, is impossible to read—like so many artist’s statements. This time, it’s not because of the density of the language or the blankness of the cliches, but because the letters are just too small to make out. (Although I did see a few “shit”s.)

It reminded me of two other recent “Artist Statement” works in Seattle: Tony Weathers reading his artist statement on video, letter for letter, using NATO and aviation code words like “alpha” and “bravo,” and Wyndel Hunt’s installation including his art-world-weary, self-conscious artist statement.

From my review of Hunt’s show last summer:

The Sharpie drawings, the environment, and Hunt’s artist’s statement, which he considers a part of the work, are the basis of something fascinating. “Exhausted skepticism that statements of intent or explanations of creative process refer to actual theoretical entities or mental events has lead [sic] me to believe that for artists, these statements and explanations are themselves fictional objects,” he wrote in his statement. Artworks, then, are not lost limbs whose purposes remain but lost purposes whose limbs remain.

Seems a great moment in the city when its artists are asking themselves not only what they ought to be making and how, but what—and whether—they (and artists in general) have to say or to give in the first place. Big work can come from there.

The ad, which depicts a bunch of dark-skinned sprinter dudes bowing down before a smarmy-looking, paunchy white guy, could be interpreted as showing the massive power of Intel’s awesome processors or something. But please. First of all, if these “sprinters” actually took off, they’d run smack into each other. Second… Well, just LOOK at it.

Via AdFreak.

This is George Jetson and his family.

This is the M200G Volantor.

It takes off and lands vertically, hovers at three meters, has a top speed of 50 mph, and is currently in production by Moller International.

(On a semi-related note, while doing a Google image search for The Jetsons, I stumbled across this, which is just so, so wrong—not to mention completely NSFW.)

Update: In the comments, “Monkey” writes: “Moller’s other flying car is much much sexier.” Indeed it is:

From my review of the Bratz movie:

The live-action movie is a celebration of what generates the cultural power of Bratz: imperfection. The movie begins with the four girls (one Asian, one black, one white, one Latino) entering their sophomore year in high school. They are friends to the end, and the other students (cheerleaders, jocks, geeks, goths) recognize the strength and beauty of their friendship. The other students also recognize the Bratz as the new order, the coming future that will confront the approaching past: a rich, blond, white girl named Meredith.

The movie not only celebrates imperfection, it also has very little (and therefore denounces) boy talk—the killer of girl minds all over the world. The Bratz have other things to think about, other things to talk about, other things to do than endlessly chatter about this and that boy. And there’s no worse poison for a girl’s mental development than excessive boy talk. It turns their minds into mush. Keep them away from it, and they will become a master; let them indulge in it, and they will become a slave in a man’s world.

One more plus for the Bratz: The one boy that the main girl likes is deaf—a symbol of the silencing of boy chatter.

Chas Bowie at Blogtown PDX has the strange story of Miranda July’s reported connection to the double suicide of Jeremy Blake and Theresa Duncan. Blake and Duncan—like some people on this very blog—were convinced July’s a Scientologist. Bowie links to this amazingly bizarre LA Times article.

OK, that’s it with Miranda July, I promise.

Two local political consultants and their firms—both former young turks, but increasingly the local heavies—Christian Sinderman’s Northwest Passage and Lisa MacLean’s Moxie Media, have been talking about merging.

“One production shop is better than two,” says Moxie partner John Wyble.

Both shops do spin, mailing, and campaign strategy for local and statewide candidates. Sinderman, for example, is the message man for Democratic Speaker of the House Frank Chopp, and he’s currently running city council campaigns for David Della challenger Tim Burgess and city council hopeful Bruce Harrell.

Moxie is currently running city council candidate Venus Valazquez’s campaign against Harrell. Moxie also works with activist union Service Employees International Union, Planned Parenthood, and Emily’s List.

Both firms have also had their hands in national races. Moxie worked on Ned Lamont’s campaign against Joe Lieberman and Sinderman worked for Jon Tester in Montana. (Sinderman rose to prominence in 2000 by helping run Sen. Maria Cantwell’s successful campaign to oust longtime incumbent Sen. Slade Gorton.)

Sinderman is widely viewed as a savvy spin doctor and connected political insider, while Moxie is seen more as a purist production house that stays above the fray.

One thing that could scotch the deal: As a duo, they’d stand to lose thousands of dollars in independent expenditure business. Independent expenditures—political ads on behalf of candidates paid for by PACs and political committees that the candidates themselves aren’t allowed to have any part in—are divvied up by firms like Northwest Passage and Moxie.

If Sinderman, for example, is consulting for a candidate, he can’t simultaneously do an independent expenditure ad for a union that supports that candidate. Now, those ads go to another firm, like Moxie.

Last year, for example, Sinderman ran liberal state Supreme Court Justice Susan Owens’s campaign, while Moxie did the independent expenditures for Citizens to Uphold the Constitution—a group that was pushing for liberal Supreme Court candidates.

If the consultants combine forces, neither one could pick up the lucrative independent expenditure work that spins out of any candidate campaign they’d be working on.

Wyble says the merger, if it happens, wouldn’t happen until next year.

Or Father’s Day, or Veteran’s Day, or, you know, whatever….the perfect gift!

Two very cute kitten heads with dehydrated and partially stuffed bodies. Very realistic. Very high quality. Very collectible. Great conversational pieces! Asking $20.00 for both of them.

Two adorable taxidermy kitten heads in a Kool Whip container?! Only $20!???

ACT NOW!!!

My apartment looks out on a brick wall and an alley, so it’s unusual for me to see or hear anything, which is suprising because I live on a very noisy block and I definitely expected more noise when I moved in. Last night was an exception—there were lots of interesting noises to listen to while I was reading on my couch. I love noises and living on busy streets—they remind me that I live in my own little cove in a big city where people are constantly having fun, getting in fights, talking with their friends, making love, and just generally being alive and together.

In Order of Occurance (with chattering and footsteps and bangs throughout):

•A car honking followed by some women going, “Woooo!”

•Some people laughing and talking loudly in Spanish

•Some people smoking pot in the alley while on their break from work

•The people who were talking in Spanish asking the people smoking pot this question: “Is that a bench down there or a shelf?”

•”Today” by the Smashing Pumpkins

•A person playing the cello
•The same person playing an electric guitar with no amplification
•The same person playing bongos
•The same person playing an electric bass with a little amplication

•A loud shrieking scream, followed by many giggles

•A female orgasm

•A group of men saying “Whoa!” in sync

Then I decided to turn on my fan to drown them all out so I could go to sleep.

In my fantasy life, Fnarf and Mr. Poe look like this.

Posted by ljg | August 3, 2007 10:55 AM

‘Crime and Punishment’ (THEATER) It begins with a destitute student who kills two old women, one with the blunt end of an axe, the other with the sharp end, and the difference between the two ignites the world’s most famous existential crisis. This one-hour distillation of Dostoyevsky’s novel is dense and fierce as a fever dream. The three actors are great and the seating is intimate. You can see every bead of spittle and sweat, every tear. Wear loose clothing. Bring a cold drink. (Capitol Hill Arts Center, Lower Level, 1621 12th Ave, 800-838-3006. 7:30 pm, $20 adv/$25 DOS.) BRENDAN KILEY

More Stranger Suggests for this week.

The 2007 Stranger Genius Award winners were notified yesterday. Seattle P-I’s art critic Regina Hackett was there.

The cake that comes with a $5,000 check and a compliment written in frosting—“You Are A Genius”—is a sugar high worth talking about.

The arts staff of the Stranger announces Genius Award winners via QFC flat cakes. Besides these confections, each year Seattle artists get cash and credit for being themselves in literature, visual art, film, and theater, with an additional award going to an arts organization.

This year’s winners are…

Hackett breaks the news here.

We’ll have a video of the geniuses getting their cakes up soon.

Who’s here at YearlyKos with me?

Well, like I said, there’s Burner.

Also: The Seattle Post-Intelligencer’s Joel Connelly is on the schedule. He’s set to speak on a panel on Saturday titled, interestingly: “Time for a New Kind of News Organization.”

And Congressman Jay Inslee is also on the schedule. He’ll be talking about global warming politics on Saturday.

Oh, and it almost goes without saying, but: The ever-present Andrew Villeneuve is typing away at a table not far from me.

Sources far too terrible to fathom have reported that some evil slut calling itself Reese Whitherspoon has risen from hell and is somehow forcing my future husband Jake Gyllenhaal to date her. Roofies? Hypnotism? Witchcraft? Yes.

First it was Ryan Phillipe, and now this. This agression against The Gays cannot stand.

Okay, gays. You know your duty. GET HER!

I’m here at YearlyKos, which, in case you’re curious, is just as white and middle aged as last year.

Popular imagination has cast online networking as the province of the under-30 MySpace generation, but the median age of a Daily Kos reader is 45. Lefty online political organizing is, in fact, a middle-aged game.

I’m sitting in a forum called “Future Leaders” right now. If you follow the local and national netroots, you won’t be surprised that eastside Democrat Darcy Burner is here.

And so is Nebraska hottie Scott Kleeb:

(For one of the iconic Kleeb photos from the last election, click here.)

Both Kleeb and Burner are netroot darlings who made their first runs for Congress in 2006, generated a lot of excitement in the blogosphere, and then lost. Both are running again. (Burner is challenging Congressman Dave Reichert in Washington’s 8th Congressional district after coming within 7,500 votes of beating him last year.) The discussion is just beginning. I’ll let you know if anything interesting happens.

Right now I’m waiting for Kelly O, who is picking up a rental car, to call. Then we hit the road for Montana and the Testicle Festival. Then we eat balls.

Whee!

USA? USA? An emotional exchange between Mitt Romeny and a waitress over world health.

Boos for Clinton: At YearlyKos.

More criticism for Obama: From Clinton.

Hypocritical? John Edwards on Rupert Murdoch.

Dodd vs. O’Reilly: The blog debate continues.

Bridge collapse: Eight to 30 still unaccounted for.

Structurally deficient: Maybe a quarter of the nation’s bridges?

And in this state: More than 300 structurally deficient bridges.

Here’s the Romney video:

Gather your loved ones, a blanket, beverages, and takeout from Saigon Deli, Baguette Box, or your neighborhood sandwich shop. Take your provisions to Myrtle Edwards Park (enter through the Sculpture Park if you feel like walking; park behind the Amgen campus at the north end if you don’t) and set up a picnic. If you’re lucky, you’ll find a lush lawn, a cool breeze off the water, an entertaining parade of ambulating humans and canines, and 100 or so sailboats racing the length of Elliott Bay.

Okay. One way or another, I’m going out-of-town tomorrow. Sorry Blue Angels. You hurt my feelings. Problem is, I can’t decide whether to go to THIS. Or THIS….

Hmm….

Last week, there was an uproar over the city council’s parks committee’s recommendation to remove Seattle Center’s Du Pen fountain —located on the north side of Key Arena— and replace it with a skatepark. City council members were flooded with emails and phone calls from the arts community, neighbors and the Du Pen family, asking them to leave the fountain intact.

While the community outcry derailed yet another plan for the oft-delayed replacement of SeaSk8 —the skatepark formerly located just east of the center— members of the Skate Park Advisory Committee (SPAC), which was formed under the auspices of the Seattle Parks Department, weren’t upset about losing the Du Pen site. They didn’t really want it anyway.

SPAC has repeatedly cited Seattle Center’s Broad Street Green site—in the southeast corner of the Center— as the optimal location for a new skatepark. SPAC’s requests for the site have repeatedly been ignored, and Seattle Center heavies like the Experience Music Project and the Space Needle have made it known that they don’t want a skatepark at Broad Street.

According to Seattle Center spokesman Dave Hertel, if a new SeaSk8 had been built on the Du Pen site, the Du Pen fountain would have been reinstalled on Broad Street.

I called SPAC chair Ryan Barth earlier this afternoon to ask what he thought about the Center’s now-scrapped plans to install the fountain at Broad Street, rather than a new skatepark. “It doesn’t surprise me,” Barth said. “I think it just goes to show that people still think skateparks are not aesthetically pleasing places. They’re wrong. [Skateparks] can be designed as a pleasing piece of public art. It doesn’t have to be a concrete monstrosity.”

The Seattle Underground Tour—the dark, dungeon-like tourist trap/field trip destination in Pioneer Square— has hired extra security after several employees were attacked by transients.

“Last year when, Occidental [Park} was closed, a lot of the transients came over [and] were sleeping and drinking in Pioneer Place Park,” says Underground Tour General Manager Chuck Russell-Coons. “We have had problems with people coming in to use our restrooms to use drugs or take food off of customers plates.”

Russell-Coons says most of the homeless people who inhabit Pioneer Place Park are harmless. However, he says, “there were three different occasions where employees were assaulted. We just decided, for our own safety, we needed to hire some security.” The cost of the extra security, Russell-Coons says, “is significant. We raised our ticket prices in part to cover the costs. [We’re spending] $16,000 to $18,000 for the summer alone.”

The Underground Tour plans to evaluate the success of their new security at the end of the summer but in the meantime, Russell-Coons says he’d like to see the police patrolling the area more often. “I want [the city] to do more. It’s bothersome to see the same people engaged in the same illegal activity several days in a row. [It’s those] kind of annoyances [that] grate and wear on you. It bothers me more than it has before.”

by Rebecca Tapscott

As summer news intern, my job description was largely focused on organizing the Stranger’s endorsement interviews. With those out of the way, my phone has stopped ringing, my checklist has diminished to a paltry few daily activities—and I am trying to suppress the fear that perhaps I am—shudder—no longer needed.

So today, Josh gave me a project. I went down to Seattle Center to check out a couple of the proposed sites for the skate park, and nose around for some local opinions.

The DuPen Fountain

The City Council’s initial promise slated the DuPen Fountain as the future site for the new skate park—and it makes sense. The area is out of the way, a good size, and right next to the VERA project. (As I spread my Seattle Center map in front of a Seattle Fudge employee, and discussed the different locations, he immediately pointed to the star over the DuPen Fountain and promoted it as the perfect location, for above mentioned reasons, and also the “beautiful afternoon light.”)

When I went to see the fountain, there were about ten kids splashing around, their parents watching from the sidelines. These parents would definitely be a part of the anti-skate park coalition, referring to skate park users as “hooligans” and citing potential “liability issues” for the Center. Although the fountain seemed adequately populated on this most beautiful of Seattle summer days, I couldn’t help but realize, this was likely a high traffic day for the fountain. On the 350 days of clouds and rain, I doubt anyone will miss the DuPen swimming hole. No matter where the city builds a skate park, someone will be displaced. On the rare occasions of simultaneous sun and heat, these ten kids can walk another block and join everyone else at the International Fountain (the one shaped like a concrete bowl).

Aside from those present at the fountain, it does not seem particularly well known. Employees on the grounds of the Center couldn’t help me locate it on my handy map… and in fact, it is not marked on my handy map, which includes labels for obscure landmarks like the “Kreielsheimer Promenade,” “Drop off & Valet Parking” at the Space Needle and “Café Impromptu.”

My opinion: The City Council should keep its word and put the skate park here, if only to show that politicians aren’t all scummy liars. Although the fountain is nice, they should use the funds for something other than constructing a replica of this particular fountain in another area. Seattle Center already has enough fountains. If parents are still concerned, let Nickels implement an added activities license to ensure safety.

Status: The fountain will stay where it is, sans skate park.

Broad Street between 4th and 5th

Currently, the Broad Street green belt welcomes visitors into the Seattle Center. A sort of neutral zone where all visitors—tourists, natives, immigrants, tourists, hooligan fearing parents, teens and toddlers and Stranger interns alike—should feel equally welcome. To give a particular population (in this case, skaters) ownership of a gateway to the Center is unfriendly.

Plus they’d have to cut down a lot of trees.

Status: Business interests block this site from becoming the future skate park location.

This week in Dear Science, The Stranger’s science column, Science answers the age-old question:

Are fluorescent lightbulbs really better for the earth? Because they fucking suck.

Science agrees (“Right now, Science looks near death thanks to some lowest-bid buzzing tubes overhead”) and explains how traditional light bulbs work (lots of energy used in creating relatively little light) and goes on to say:

Fluorescent bulbs cheat, heating up a coil of wire only enough to start throwing off electrons, which in turn convert a low-pressure mercury vapor into plasma. The heavy-metal vapor throws off a bunch of ultraviolet light—excellent for tanning or destroying DNA, but not so great for looking. The white powder on the inside of the bulb converts the emitted ultraviolet light into visible light by fluorescence—hence the name. This convoluted pathway uses about a quarter of energy to make the same intensity light as a traditional bulb and also lasts longer than a regular bulb. Great! Fluorescents are a clear environmental winner, right?

Not so fast.

The “mercury vapor” that fluorescent bulbs require is quite toxic. While new compact fluorescent bulbs are voluntarily limited to five milligrams of mercury each, as little as a tenth of a milligram per square yard will make you seriously ill. Shaking hands, drooling, irritability, memory loss, depression, weakness—sounds like fun. And that’s what happens to adults; kids can be permanently injured by mercury exposure. If you break one of these bulbs in your house—and think of all the times a bulb breaks—the current advice is to open a window and run…

The verdict? It might surprise you. It has something to do with where in the country you live.

By the way, Science is happy to answer your burning questions—whether glass is really a liquid, why pears taste so good, why some men dribble and others shoot, whatever. Send queries here.

What is Alt-Country?: Jonathan Zwickel investigates.

Mr. Destiny: Michael Caine’s chill-out music.

What’s Better Than the Fray?: Shopping.

Backbone, Beef, and Bang: Brought to you by compression.

Guitar Zero: Courtney Love puts Nirvana in video games.

Disappearing Star: Jennifer Gentle is a two-star release, not one.

Every Breath You Take: The Music that molded Christopher Frizzelle’s mind.

Flava Flav Roast: Not going to be as good as Dean Martin.

This Week’s Setlist: Pigtastic! I don’t know what that means either…

Here! Cuddly!

(Thanks for the photo, Matt Hickey.)