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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

OJ Leaks!

posted by on June 20 at 11:18 AM

The three most evil people in the history of everything, in order, used to go like this: George Bush, Satan, Accuser of Man, and OJ Simpson. But this list has been revised, and now reads OJ Simpson, OJ Simpson, OJ Simpson.

I am sure that y’all recall that horrible book OJ wrote about the people he murdered and the night he murdered them. ďIf I Did ItĒ, it was called. And youíll recall what a sickening stir it caused, and that it was pulled before one single bloody lie-soaked copy ever reached a Barnes and Noble bookshelf. Well, that horrid manuscript has been LEAKED on the internet, and excerpts of it can be found sprouting like poisonous mushrooms all over the space that is cyber. published a few of these, and now they might even be held in contempt of court. Here is one of the excerpts that those bad kids over at TMZ exposed (gosh darn them!):

Iím going to tell you a story youíve never heard before, because nobody knows this story the way I know it. It takes place on the night of June 12th, 1994, and it concerns the murder of my ex wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her young friend Ronald Goldman. I want you to forget everything you know about that night, because I know the facts better than anyone. I know the players. Iíve seen the evidence. Iíve heard the theories. And, of course, Iíve read the stories: That I did it. That I did it but I donít know I did it. That I can no longer tell fact from fiction. That I wake up in the middle of the night, consumed with guilt, screaming.

Indeed. At least, I really, really hope he does.

Gag more, here. If you dare.

RSS icon Comments


What's wrong with Satan?

Posted by Mr. Poe | June 20, 2007 11:49 AM

he owes me five bucks.

Posted by adrian! | June 20, 2007 11:51 AM

You should read Mark Fuhrman's book on the murders. It's funny how many times he has to point out that he can't be racist:

"I've got black friends!"
"My partner's wife was black!"
"I worked hard to prove that that one black kid was innocent!"
"I played basketball three days a week with black officers and HAD TO GET UP EARLY to do it!"

Posted by Paulus | June 20, 2007 11:53 AM

Sorry, he only killed two people. The Red Bushies slaughtered many many many more.

But I remember when I was down in Santa Barbara hanging out at a surf coffee shop near the pier, and we were hoping OJ would want to go surfing during the massive storms, so we could advise him to surf near the piers and not notice when he went under ...

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 20, 2007 11:58 AM

This is why it's a bad idea to support SPD when it falsifies police reports. YOU just might be Ronald Goldman's dad one day.

Posted by DOUG. | June 20, 2007 11:59 AM

Ha! The Juice is loose!

Posted by Rotten666 | June 20, 2007 12:08 PM

But what about his SON - Jason L Simpson? This has some information that might make you go hmmmmm

Posted by Bobby Ewing | June 20, 2007 1:39 PM

Forget it. I didn't read the excerpt and I have no intention of reading a single word of what that murdering prick has to say. My dad made me sit through every second of that trial with him, christ it was boring at times...thanks, Dad. However, had I been on that jury I would have hung the motherfucker.

Posted by JessB | June 21, 2007 7:14 AM

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