News The Morning News
posted by June 28 at 6:54 AMon
Bush to Congress: Drop dead.
DAMF: Twenty decapitated bodies found near Baghdead—on the same day car bombs killed 35, wounded 57.
The Death Penalty in Texas: or, The Mentally Ill Executing the Mentally Ill: Should we put crazy people to death? Maybe not, says Supreme Court.
Run, Al, Run: Gore leads poll of Dem voters in New Hampshire.
What Can Brown Do For You? Bush’s immigration bill “shedding supporters” as it faces crucial vote today.
We’ll Always Have Paris: Hilton underwhelms in post-prison TV appearance.
Made in China: More “tainted,” i.e., poisoned, toothpaste discovered in United States. Pet food, children’s toys, toothpaste—Jesus, we could save space on those labels if we replaced “Made in China” with a tasteful little skull and crossbones.
Repent! Repent! God continues to punish Texas, sending more floods to punish his wayward gun-loving, immigrant-bashing, capital-punishment-crazed children there.
Spice, Spice, Baby: Posh, Ginger, Sporty, Scary and… uh… Dopey? Ropey? Mopey? Anyway, the Spice Girls are getting their act back together and taking it on the road.
Is Your Cat Missing? It might have something to do with this.
You Think? The mayor and police chief think that maybe—just maybe—we might need to contemplate having a discussion about whether or not the “time may be ripe to review the current system of police accountability,” seeing as how it, you know, doesn’t work for shit.
Attack of the McMansions: Bellevue contemplates restrictions on “megahomes.”
Jazz Hands, Everybody: This morning’s Fosse goes out to Mark Mitchell, who requested “Hey, Big Spender” from Sweet Charity. It is, without a doubt, Fosse’s most iconic work. A line of taxi dancers, aka hookers, attempt to get the attention of a john. In the film version, for some reason, Fosse slowed the number down, and it drags a bit at the beginning. But hang in there—it’s worth it for hair and makeup tips alone.
And now watch in awe as the girls—good Catholic girls, one assumes—attempt to recreate Fosse’s choreography in this high school production of Sweet Charity. Alas, no beehives. And this clip of another high school production features choreography for couch potatoes—the girls hardly get off their asses.
And here… because… well, my God, how could I refrain from posting it? Freddie Mercury and Queen performing “Hey, Big Spender” in 1975. Please note: Freddie Mercury was believed to be heterosexual in 1975, and Queen was popular with straight high school students everywhere. Ahem: