Sex The Measure of a Man
posted by June 6 at 14:14 PMon
The survey ultimately concluded that “the average erect penis was 5.5ins to 6.2ins long and 4.7ins to 5.1ins in girth”. And looked hilarious resting on a Petri dish.
If we generously take the average to be six inches, and multiply that by the total number of appendages, it means they examined a total of 72,000 inches of penis, which sounds impressive until you input that figure into a conversion calculator and realise it’s a mere 1.136 miles. A frail old lady could cycle that distance in less than five minutes, assuming she could keep her eyes on the road.
Anyway, it wasn’t all warm hands and tape measures. The researchers also asked the owners of the penises some probing questions - presumably in a misguided attempt to break the ice, or make the whole scenario feel faintly less awkward. They found that “those with a ‘normal-sized’ penis often mistakenly thought theirs was too small”. Perhaps the researcher had huge hands.
Other findings from the survey:
• Guys everywhere will go to great, um, lengths to make their penises larger. In Brazil, the Topinama people encourage poisonous snakes to bite their penises to enlarge them for six months; in India, Sadhus men use weights to increase the length of their penises; and in Borneo, Dayak men pierce the glans of their penis and insert things into the holes to stimulate their partners.
• Sixty-six per cent of men said their penis was “average”, 22 percent said it was “large,” and 12 percent said it was “small.” Eighty-five percent of women said they were satisfied with their partner’s penis size, but only 55 percent of men were satisfied.
• Fully ninety percent of women prefer a wide penis to a long one. Eight-five percent of women said they were satisfied with their partner’s penis size.
• “Small penis syndrome” (yeah, it’s a real diagnosable illness) is much more common in men with normal-size penises than those with an actual “micropenis”—a penis that has a
flaccid length of less than 2.7 inches when fully erect.