Sex The Measure of a Man
posted by on June 6 at 14:14 PM
A 60-year study of men’s penises (can we get one of those for the causes of breast cancer, guys?) was released this week. According to the Guardian,
The survey ultimately concluded that “the average erect penis was 5.5ins to 6.2ins long and 4.7ins to 5.1ins in girth”. And looked hilarious resting on a Petri dish.If we generously take the average to be six inches, and multiply that by the total number of appendages, it means they examined a total of 72,000 inches of penis, which sounds impressive until you input that figure into a conversion calculator and realise it’s a mere 1.136 miles. A frail old lady could cycle that distance in less than five minutes, assuming she could keep her eyes on the road.
Anyway, it wasn’t all warm hands and tape measures. The researchers also asked the owners of the penises some probing questions - presumably in a misguided attempt to break the ice, or make the whole scenario feel faintly less awkward. They found that “those with a ‘normal-sized’ penis often mistakenly thought theirs was too small”. Perhaps the researcher had huge hands.
Other findings from the survey:
• Guys everywhere will go to great, um, lengths to make their penises larger. In Brazil, the Topinama people encourage poisonous snakes to bite their penises to enlarge them for six months; in India, Sadhus men use weights to increase the length of their penises; and in Borneo, Dayak men pierce the glans of their penis and insert things into the holes to stimulate their partners.
• Sixty-six per cent of men said their penis was “average”, 22 percent said it was “large,” and 12 percent said it was “small.” Eighty-five percent of women said they were satisfied with their partner’s penis size, but only 55 percent of men were satisfied.
• Fully ninety percent of women prefer a wide penis to a long one. Eight-five percent of women said they were satisfied with their partner’s penis size.
• “Small penis syndrome” (yeah, it’s a real diagnosable illness) is much more common in men with normal-size penises than those with an actual “micropenis”—a penis that has a flaccid length of less than 2.7 inches when fully erect.
um....micopenis is when it's less than 2.7 erect...not flaccid.
Take note.
I definitely like a nice, normal sized wang. No poking at my cervix for me!
WOOHOO! That's the BEST FREAKIN NEWS EVER!
Like a baby's arm with an apple in his fist. That's all I'm sayin'.
Now let's go to Craigslist M4M and see if the photos match the research.
the baby's arm with apple in his fist conjurs up a horrible image. the head would be so ridiculously large compared to the arm. your penis would look like the spaceship from 2001, except the fore of the ship would be twice as huge.
Now let's go to Craigslist M4M and see if the photos match the research.
carollani, thats a self selected data source of people comfortable with their size.
So...I guess 13 inches long and 1/2 inch around isn't "average" like grandpa said? Great. Really great. Thanks, grandpa.
@2 - yeah, there's nothing more offputting than realizing you're hurting your partner during the act, at least in my experience.
But, from what I have gathered, it's the breadth, foreplay, cuddling, and technique that matters.
Length doesn't seem to help that much.
Mind you, I'm looking at it from the hetero viewpoint ...
Craigslist M4M is a "self selected data source of people comfortable with their size"...?
No sweetie- CraigSlist M4M is desperate men who know how to steal photos and/or Photoshop.
Bellevue Ave: have we met?
but what about confirming the ethnic stereotypes of penis size? that's the most important thing!
I dont know Fnarf. How many people named Marc do you know?
griff, i know little about the ethics of the m4m section, im just venturing a guess that any data gleaned from m4m section involving penis size pictures are going to be skewed.
I was waiting for the obvious correlation to be made at the end of the article between micropenis syndrome and compensatory purchases - Hummers, .44 Magnums, etc.
Is it just unlucky me, or did anyone else catch the picture of the ENORMOUS-breasted woman right next to this article on penis sizes (the "Echo Valley" ad by Sands Showgirls)? Frightening juxtaposition. Imagine trying to titty-fuck those with an average penis--they would give any man a syndrome.
Does anyone elses have eyes?
Um, the sadhus don't lengthen their penises to increase their ability to give sexual pleasure. They do it to make them useless. It's called the Rite of Sexual Negation, and it's another way for them to put away all earthly attachments so they can seek moksha.
It's funny that Erica can't tell the difference between a flaccid and erect penis.
There’s probably never going to be a good forum for this question, and I’m surprised it’s never popped up in Savage Love, but I’ve always wondered:
How do soldiers in year long postings like Iraq or Afghanistan obtain *ahem* release?
Is it too dangerous to visit local sex workers? I’d be climbing the walls after like two days.
Any vets want to tell us how it really is?
"Eight-five percent of women said they were satisfied with their partner’s penis size."
But are they also 'pretty'? I mean, who wants the world's most satisfying pink parsnip?
@4,
So are we talkin' newborn, 6 months, 1 year?
@9,
Please tell me the 1/2 inch is diameter or radius, not circumference.
Cock size isn't really important to me, but I'm a top and I can tell you that there are some shall we say aggressive bottoms out there who seem unwilling to settle for anything smaller than a fire hydrant. I guess it's all subjective.
So if girth is more important than length, why are all the stats about length? What is the average width? I want to know if I should start feeling deficient.
jude, its because most hetero sexual men arent privy to the sensations that thick dick creates in other people. he would assume that length is desireable because its more tangible a comparison than comparing girth. (unless you have a person in the middle of two comparing them, in which i say game on!)
so women prefer a guy shaped like a can of tomato soup?
i find that hard to believe...
23: Is circumference when you put a string around it and then measure? Then yes, circumference. Sorta like a starving sea snake. I call him "Scombridae".
@25, 26 - ah.
I gotta say: bigger isn't always better. Anything longer than 8 or 9 inches and I run away. I'd say 5-7 is perfect....anything longer and it hurts.
@23: depends on how excited I am.
Just kidding. It's really more like a tuna can. All girth, inch-and-a-half long.
Nah, go for sardines. Add some crazy shape in there are well. Short, fat, and square baby.
The average depth of a vagina is something like 3-4 inches. When aroused the vagina becomes more elastic, but still... do the math.
@31 - actually, that's true, otherwise you get responses like @30 ...
And is that a cow baby like later in SLOG?
favorite quote
“It is very common for men to worry about the size of their penis and it is important that these concerns aren’t dismissed as this can heighten concerns and anxieties”
No the correct response is to tell them to grow the fuck up and worry about important things. Or buy a hummer(either kind), that'll work too.
Carollani @ 33,
Please forgive my ignorance of the lady parts (100% gay here); if that's true then how can het guys get it all the way in? I realize it can accomodate a baby but that doesn't mean you'd want to have one everyday, right?
Apparently you can get it all the way in if you, uh, "do the math". Because math is hot.
This is really all anybody ever should have to add:
http://www.xkcd.com/c194.html
So is "Cambell's soup can" normal? Won't someone help me out here? And are there any devices that stretch the penis, um, latitudinally?
Dirty pictures usually do the trick for me.
Fnarf, what of? Maybe I'm using the wrong type.
"(can we get one of those for the causes of breast cancer, guys?)"
Right on! Wait...Breast cancer research receives more NIH funding than any disease other than diabetes, heart disease, and HIV/AIDS (which are all far more common). It gets twice the funding of prostate cancer, even though the latter kills more people.
No Della, Breast cancer kills more then prostate cancer, about 25% more
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5103a1.htm#tab1
It also kills over twice as many as HIV/AIDS. Not sure of relationships between number of cases, because well I'm lazy.
@31,
Cool! Just like the narrator of Breakfast of Champions.
@36,
As Carollani mentioned, the vagina becomes more elastic. (I've heard it described as lengthening during arousal.) But, the average penis is in the range of 5-6 inches. I'll assume the vagina expands at least 2 additional inches.
No, women definitely don't want to give birth to a baby every day. The cervix has to massively expand -- really fucking painful -- and even then the actual process of the baby making its way through the vagina is extremely painful.
It's also supposedly excruciating when a penis hits the cervix during sex.
Erica, you should post on this subject more often, maybe even start a new "column".
I suggest the column be caller "Your cock is HOW long" or "Long Cocks in a Little Box"
@4, Fnarf, is that a Tubes reference?
Jude, bridges. Iron bridges get me hard. And train sheds.
Giffy: Fair enough on the raw cancer numbers; I was looking at age-adjusted rates (www.cancer.org). And you're right about HIV/AIDS in the US; I was counting Africa.
A frail old lady doesn't cycle 13.63 miles per hour, much less faster.
Erica, call the column "How's Your Holster?"
Who fluffed?
Erica - Breast cancer has received research dollars in excess of its incidence, compared with some cancers that affect primarily men. Look it up. You are the very essence of "pre-offended."
i have 4 in in lenght is this fine or not
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