Slog - Comments on Porcupines, Lobsters, Skunks, and Pufferfish: The Vagisil Menagerie

Comment by Mr. Poe

Mr. Poe — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:06:28 -0800

All of those things come to mind when I think of a vagina.

Comment by bitch on heels

bitch on heels — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:11:11 -0800

Mr. Poe, when exactly do you think of a vagina?

In answer to your question, David, I watched that in open-mouthed horror. NO, that does not happen to me, and I can't imagine that the commercial was written by women. I think it's fear tactics to get you to buy more Vagisil. (Who names these products, anyway?) Oh, no, if I don't stop that little itch, my cunt might turn into a porcupine by midnight.

Truly horrific. I hope that commercial fails miserably and they take it off the air.

Comment by David Schmader

David Schmader — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:12:32 -0800

Re: 1: Ugh. After crystal meth, icky-vag misogyny is my least favorite component of gay male culture. (And it's odd that Vagisil seems to be trafficking in such images.)

Any ladies got an opinion?

Comment by Lindy

Lindy — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:13:45 -0800

OMG that is like my vagina exactly! In fact, my boyfriend affectionately calls it my "skunky lobster-pot." (Totally kidding, you guys. I don't have a boyfriend.)

Comment by David Schmader

David Schmader — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:14:21 -0800

Thank you, Bitch on Heels!

Comment by Mr. Poe

Mr. Poe — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:14:55 -0800

I was joking, bitch. I avoid thoughts of vagina like murder.

Comment by David Schmader

David Schmader — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:20:37 -0800

Re: 6: Sigh.

Mr. Poe, I beg of you, ditch the icky-vag stuff. It's as degrading to gay men as it is to women. (Is the key component of your homosexuality really an aversion to female genitalia?)

Also, for the record, penises are exactly as disgusting (or not) as vaginas.

Comment by orangekrush

orangekrush — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:23:38 -0800

did you guys notice the vancouver gallery of art refers to itself as the VAG?

Comment by Mr. Poe

Mr. Poe — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:32:02 -0800

As someone who is always thinking of penis, I beg to differ.

I can offer no apology for my icky-vag syndrome. It's there. I can offer not presenting it in Slog, but it will still be there. Me no change.

Comment by Giffy

Giffy — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:32:47 -0800

Yah it's really about as flattering as us straights going on about how we are afraid of other mens dicks.

Comment by Carollani

Carollani — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:32:51 -0800

"skunky lobster-pot" hehehehhehehe�I'm going to try to use that phrase at least three times today referring to vag (as in vagina and not the Vancouver Gallery of Art).

Comment by lilblackcat

lilblackcat — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:35:29 -0800

Thank you for saying something about this ad! The first time I saw the commercial I went looking for it on youtube because I was so offended by how it was trying to portray women's bits that I had planned on writing a blog to blast it, but at that time I could not find it anywhere. I had to wonder right away if there was any women at all on the advertising team who put this masterpiece together. I highly doubt it. But then again, it is promoting a product that any good gyno will tell you, actually promotes bad bacteria in women's bodies and promotes that "not so fresh feeling" they are always going on about.

Comment by It's Mark Mitchell

It's Mark Mitchell — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:36:16 -0800

Help, there's a blowfish in my pussy!

Comment by Giffy

Giffy — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:41:48 -0800

I have to say though, its better then those penis enlarging commercials.

Comment by yes

yes — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:42:54 -0800

Hey Mr. Poe/Bitch:

VAGINA! VAGINA! VAGINA! VAGINA!

Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

Comment by Mr. Poe

Mr. Poe — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:48:43 -0800

Wooo! Chunky yellow cum!

Comment by Carollani

Carollani — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 09:53:03 -0800

Mr. Poe: Whatthefuck?!

Comment by Meagan

Meagan — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:00:06 -0800

@4 Maybe not your boyfriend so much as a jaunty leprechaun?

Comment by Fnarf

Fnarf — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:06:20 -0800

I have nothing to say about this comment thread, which is more disgusting than the commercial, but I just wonder if maybe these ladies need to see a doctor or something, because if your pufferfish is ponging, and people can smell it, and washing doesn't help, a tube of grease is probably not going to help all that much.

I use it to keep my flowing locks shiny and bouncy, though. A little dab'll do ya.

Comment by Original Monique

Original Monique — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:13:06 -0800

All I can say is WTF. I just stared that that commerical, mouth-agape. It makes no sense! Maybe some executive let his college son direct the marketing?

I have no idea. I'm no so much offended as I am very very confused.... ?!?

Comment by kerri harrop

kerri harrop — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:18:37 -0800

@7: thank you, schmader. and, to answer your question, i've never felt anything in my underparts akin to the assortment of wildlife displayed by the makers of vagisil.

i am mortified by ads like this. the whole notion that a woman's vagina is unclean or "not-so-fresh" is one of the oldest proverbs in the big book of sexism.

at the enchanted porkfist, my friend russell recently pointed out an ad (probably 1950's) that encouraged women to use LYSOL to douche their vaginas with. the illustration has a woman trapped behind a spiderweb, which represented her husband's "indifference" to her apparently filthy vagina.

or perhaps it was to illustrate that the vagina is a deep, dark spider hole, from which the likes of saddam hussein might emerge.

whatever the case, this notion of a dank, itchy, fishy spot at the fork in the road has been perpetuated through the ages by a variety of products and coy ads addressing the mysteries of "down there."

the real horror in ads like this is the message they send to women of all ages: your vagina is unclean and dangerous. you need these products to keep it under control. without them, you will have a lobster in your underpants.

my itchy pussy is no different from your itchy balls -- sometimes it is hot and sweaty, sometimes it wants to be scratched. human anatomy 101.

Comment by yungrii

yungrii — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:21:10 -0800

i just like that theres a bunch of pickles before the vagisil commercial starts.

Comment by Carollani

Carollani — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:21:38 -0800

If it itches then scratch that skunky lobster-pot!

Comment by Mr. Poe

Mr. Poe — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:31:56 -0800

When I was young, my first impression of the vagina was the egg opening in Alien.

Comment by Carollani

Carollani — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:41:46 -0800

Time to grow up Mr. Poe. We don't think your vagina hating is funny or cute. You seem devote an awful lot of time hating vaginas... methinks he doth protest too much.

Comment by Fnarf

Fnarf — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:41:51 -0800

Well, you know, I'm not always scratchin' my balls because they ITCH, you know.

Comment by orangekrush

orangekrush — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:42:02 -0800

Yo' mama, Mr. Poe?

Comment by Giffy

Giffy — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:43:20 -0800

@21, but men don't understand vaginas. Why can't you just accept that? They're all foldy and confusing. Why can't you just have cocks like the rest of us. Oh wait...

Comment by Callie

Callie — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:45:22 -0800

Thank you so much, David, for calling people out on that anti-vag shit. It is misogyny, and it's crude and offensive. You came out of one of those filthy stinky holes, Poe. That's where your life originated. Anyway, that commercial is totally mis-representative of what does and does not go on down there for women, and perpetuates the stereotypes for straight men and anti-vag queers alike. Kerri totally hit the nail on the head. Using shit like Vagisil and douching is actually MORE harmful than good. It's bullshit.

Comment by kerri harrop

kerri harrop — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:59:12 -0800

fnarf@ 26: nor am i always scratching my pussy because it itches. here's another breaking story: we gals also love to masturbate!

what's next? equal pay for equal work?!

Comment by SDA in SEA

SDA in SEA — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:27:46 -0800

David, I've also been a bit perturbed by some of the "icky-vag" memme in gay circles. I'm 100% homo. I don't think I've ever actually seen a real live vagina (just plenty of pictures). I don't find vaginas icky or disgusting. I simply don't find them arousing.

Mr. Poe, just because vaginas don't arouse us does not mean we need to degrade women and describe their genitalia as gross and disgusting. Please stop.

Comment by Sara

Sara — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:34:40 -0800

Write Vagisil a letter. I just did. What a bunch of creeps.

http://www.vagisil.com/contactus.shtml

Comment by Gitai

Gitai — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:36:57 -0800

@3 Are you sure vag hating misogyny should rank second in things about gay men that you hate? I was thinking that petty vindictiveness should rank above that.

Comment by Formica

Formica — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:42:35 -0800

The only time I feel like anyone else can smell my vagina is if someone's face is actually in my vagina. Which I have never thought of as a situation needing to be remedied.

Comment by keshmeshi

keshmeshi — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 11:54:33 -0800

Just adding to what was said at 12 and 19,

If you have a seriously unpleasant odor emitting from your vagina, using some over-the-counter nonsense is the worst thing you can do. The OTC garbage can fuck up a clean vagina, so imagine what it can do if you actually have an infection.

And "if your pufferfish is ponging" is my favorite phrase of the day.

Comment by NapoleonXIV

NapoleonXIV — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 12:07:27 -0800

I wasn't scared of vaginas before watching that commercial, but that lobster coming at me with its grasping claws was just too much! :(

Comment by Bauhaus

Bauhaus — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 12:14:44 -0800

There goes lunch.

Comment by maxsolomon

maxsolomon — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 12:59:37 -0800

i love pussy, but sometimes it is "not so fresh". usually the next day after i've come in it.

Comment by Bellevue Ave

Bellevue Ave — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 13:13:41 -0800

Max speaks truth. By the same token your dick probably doesnt either.

Comment by Bellevue Ave

Bellevue Ave — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 13:15:31 -0800

Max speaks truth. By the same token your dick probably doesnt either.

Comment by Geni

Geni — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 15:48:55 -0800

What I find bizarrely amusing (then again, I'm easily amused) is that there is a plethora of products for a woman's supposedly nasty naughty bits, to clean them, deodorize them, remove their fur, etc. But where, I ask you, is the product to remove Funky Ball Stench? And don't kid yourself that your nutsack doesn't ever reek, fellas. It does.

Comment by Giffy

Giffy — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 16:12:13 -0800

You know what I have found. People (male or female), that practice good overall hygiene often have nice clean naughty bits. Funny that.

Comment by Darcy

Darcy — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 16:16:56 -0800

@30 what's next? equal pay for equal work?!

Trousers and voting, oh, my!

Comment by Paulus

Paulus — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 17:45:39 -0800

Eh, I've met lesbians who are disgusted by penii. Whatever.

Comment by Sasha

Sasha — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 18:59:19 -0800

If they were going to use a lobster to represent the vagina, they should have used the furry lobster.

Comment by Gitai

Gitai — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 19:58:14 -0800

@41 As an avid faggot, I have to say that I love that funky ball smell. I assume that there are many, many straight men who rather appreciate a funky giney.

Comment by kaisa

kaisa — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:35:03 -0800

I sent a letter to vagisil and their response was that they were pulling the ad.

Comment by yay!

yay! — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 08:34:32 -0800

Yay! Great job, letter writers.

However, I don't envy the ad people that have Vagisil as their client. That's a tough gig. "How do we pitch a product about vaginas that doesn't even work? I don't know, let's just use the same formula they've been using for 100 years. Cool."

In other news, I recently saw a NON-CREEPY ad for a pregnancy test that looked like a men's razor commercial, all special effects and everything. Usually those ads are right up there with creepy douche ads. Hmm...

Comment by Dr_Awesome

Dr_Awesome — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 11:46:56 -0800

Huh. And it's "Maximum Strength" too. As if there's a law forbidding them from selling anything stronger. And like it'd involve lye, DDT, and maybe a welder's mask.

Comment by Pachuco

Pachuco — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 14:15:22 -0800

Here's a comic I came up with after watching the commercial. Thought you might enjoy it.

http://www.mazameli.com/pantsparty/?page_id=2

Comment by thina

thina — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 09:38:22 -0800

Oy. My husband said to me...did u SEE THAT? Porcupine? Skunk? Fish? Write that company and tell them you are offended. Apparently, they have not yet pulled the commercial. Call me lucky...I smell like clams!