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Tina Fey is tops on my 100 list, followed closely by embedded reporter Lara Logan.

Not all straight people are mouthbreathers.

Posted by Whatevs | June 22, 2007 12:20 PM

Maxim does not represent straight men.

Posted by Paulus | June 22, 2007 12:21 PM

I dunno, guys, Lindsey's awfully young, and therefore manipulable, and everybody knows how vulnerable people can be in rehab. I think I could break her will in just a few -- wait, what were we talking about?

Posted by Fnarf | June 22, 2007 12:27 PM

Uh, everyone has better taste than straight men.

Also, Lara Logan makes me swoon.

Posted by Mike in MO | June 22, 2007 12:27 PM

Keira Knightley is obviously hotter than 15. And where's Carrie Brownstein? The lesbians are just as stupid.

Posted by annie | June 22, 2007 12:29 PM

Hooray for stereotypes. 'Cos all straight men are the same.

Posted by Dylan | June 22, 2007 12:33 PM

Where the hell's Bjork? Or Maggie Cheung? Or Marjane Satrapi?

Neither of these lists can possibly be accurate. Everyone knows my taste is better than yours. Why wasn't I consulted?

Posted by Gurldoggie | June 22, 2007 12:35 PM

Where's Rosanne Barr?

How about Rosie?

They are both freaking smokin'!

Posted by ecce homo | June 22, 2007 12:45 PM

How much is that Gurldoggie in the window, because I want one? Gurl, you're tripping, and I like.

Posted by ricardo | June 22, 2007 12:49 PM

I think both Lindsay Lohan and Tina Fey are attractive. Who says you can't like both?

Posted by Jason Josephes | June 22, 2007 12:50 PM

i'll stack my taste in hot babes up against any dyke, any where, any time.

what's interesting is that i agree with much of their list - i've endorsed kate winslet for decades.

maxim is for mouth breathers who's wives won't let them have hustler subscriptions.

Posted by maxsolomon | June 22, 2007 12:50 PM

Straight men, I apologize.

Clearly the blithe subject line of this blog post reopened the wounds of your 1000-plus years of being oppressed.

Again, I apologize.

Posted by David Schmader | June 22, 2007 12:55 PM

In my opnion, both lists are invalid because Tina Fey isn't at the top of them.

Though I have to say, afterellen is a lot closer to my personal list than stupid maxim.

Posted by Jessica | June 22, 2007 12:56 PM

All girls are hot. Whatever.

Posted by The Real LeBron James | June 22, 2007 12:58 PM


so we get to have a say after we straight men pay for the crimes of our predecessors 1000 years from when, exactly?

the day of the stonewall riots?
women's suffrage?
the emancipation proclamation?
july 4th, 1776?

Posted by maxsolomon | June 22, 2007 1:01 PM

I agree, Tina Fey needs to be on top.

Lindsay is at best mid-range.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 22, 2007 1:01 PM

I only looked at about half the AfterEllen list, and counted only 2 non-white picks (Sandra Oh and Queen Latifa). Even Maxim likes more non-white booty.

Posted by NaFun | June 22, 2007 1:04 PM

The problem with applying a porn star standard ("who would I rather fuck" or more accurately "who would I rather jerk off to") to people who are in the public eye for something other than fucking (i.e., non-porn stars) is that you're selecting on the wrong characteristic, the wrong pool of candidates. There are THOUSANDS of little chickies working in porn who are much, much "hotter", i.e., fuckable, than the hottest actress or other celebrity. Models are probably the only ones who come close, because their job is being beautiful; but even they have to be adept at duties that do not directly affect their jerkoffability.

This is very similar to the problem of why baseball pitchers can't hit. Wrong selection criteria; a pitcher who can hit like crazy will never be selected over a pitcher who can't hit at all but can pitch even a tiny bit better.

Saying "Tina Fey" might actually be MORE offensive than picking a porn star -- because reducing Tina Fey to "something I would like to see bouncing on the end of my dick" is more degrading than reducing a porn star to that -- because the porn star is already there.

If you mean "attractive" to mean something more complex than "jerk off fodder" then you're opening up to a whole different universe of possibilities. I've always thought Doris Kearns Goodwin was an attractive woman, but I don't want to see her naked in Maxim.

Come to think of it, I don't want to see Maxim at all, unless I'm casually wondering if any hot new cell phone accessories are available in orange.

Posted by Fnarf | June 22, 2007 1:04 PM

@15: You deserve to have your say now, I was just joshin' you (which I deserve to do).

Posted by David Schmader | June 22, 2007 1:10 PM

Joan Jett.

Posted by HollyB | June 22, 2007 1:11 PM

I've always suspected it, but this confirms it - I'm a lesbian trapped in a straight man's body.

Posted by Sean | June 22, 2007 1:12 PM

Ugh, as bad as Maxim is at least their list has an internal logic to it.

The AfterEllen list just plops in any white woman who might have, at one point in their carrer, played a lesbian. Though given that their product is less of an editor's list and more of a poll/ranking I guess that makes sense.

Plus, how can you put Ellen in an AfterEllen list?

Posted by dirge | June 22, 2007 1:14 PM

I always end up looking at the comment list before I check any link. But seeing Lyndsey's name highlighted means that she's in the top photo? It looks like Ms. Fey.

Posted by fanny | June 22, 2007 1:14 PM

trainwreck or not, lindsay lohan is pretty cute. but what baffles me about the maxim list - fergie is number TEN. fergie. F-E-R-G-I-E. since when are straight guys attracted to muppets?

Posted by brandon | June 22, 2007 1:18 PM

Paulus @2: Maxim does not represent straight men.

Quoted for truth.

This list is just further evidence that I am really a lesbian trapped in a straight man's body.

Posted by LT L | June 22, 2007 1:24 PM

18: I don't see the offensiveness re: fantasizing about Tina Fey. It may seem weird because we all know her from TV, but all human life began with our dad seeing our mom for the first time and saying "What a great pair of tits." I don't know where I was going with that, but suddenly I need some mouthwash.

Posted by Jason Josephes | June 22, 2007 1:25 PM

Dammit Sean beat me to it?

/not Sean L. from Chicago?

Posted by LT L | June 22, 2007 1:26 PM

" Lesbians Have Better Taste Than Straight Men Who Read Maxim"

Fixed that for you.

Posted by Lee Gibson | June 22, 2007 1:26 PM

Anyone who thinks Fergie is attractive in the least has no credibility with me. Zero.

Posted by Carollani | June 22, 2007 1:27 PM

Hold on-- the AfterEllen list has Angelina Jolie as number two? I actually think of Angelina Jolie, from a purely physical perspective, to be much more of a horrifying stereotype of female fuckability than Lindsay Lohan. I love her politics but she's basically a skeleton with a pair of blowjob lips and a C cup. It's creepy.

Personally, I've always been a Dutch Boy at heart, so I definitely prefer the AE list, but some of their choices are very bit as creepy and weird as the Maxim list.

Posted by Judah | June 22, 2007 1:29 PM

Just looking at the pictures, I don't see much difference between the two compilations.

Posted by David Wright | June 22, 2007 1:39 PM

Dude, a little NSFW action would have been helpful before that L Word chick's tittie was all over my computer screen.

Posted by Meagan | June 22, 2007 1:39 PM

With the exception of Ellen, all of these women seem pretty typically pretty to me. Lesbians like women that are skinny, booby-full, and white, just like the rest of America.

Posted by Ari Spool | June 22, 2007 1:45 PM

seriously, looking at that afterellen list is hi-larious. I find the women on maxim list to be generic and uninteresting because they all fit the same archetype, but the AE list is frankly bizarre!

so white! so femme!

im not going to ever pretend to understand sexual attraction among lesbians but it seems the entire list was for butch by butch. in the hetero world men like women who are womany, but why is it that almost totally the hot women in the lesbian world are not butch?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | June 22, 2007 1:47 PM

Fnarf @18, you haven't been paying attention to models lately if you think they are supposed to be fuckably attractive.

Posted by Sachi | June 22, 2007 1:49 PM

@17, @34 - true. They really need to diversify.

We straight white males like women in all the colors of the rainbow, quite frankly.

And we're way less sizeist than women are for some unknown reason. When you can see the ribs, it's not hot.

Posted by Will in Seattle | June 22, 2007 2:01 PM

Fergie's pretty hot, in my eyes, but she doesn't know....CLEAN. Neither does Lindsey. Like she might smell a bit. In a way that just gets worse after a shower.

Posted by Fnarf | June 22, 2007 2:29 PM

will, you're being sarcasitc of course. I still find it interesting that there is so much overlap between what straight men want and what lesbian women want.

I mean, are bois not attractive to the afterellen crowd? what gives?

Posted by Bellevue Ave | June 22, 2007 2:36 PM

Did anyone notice how they put stars next to the names of the ones that were actually lesbians in th AE list? I thought that was kinda funny. It was like saying: "You have a chance with hooking up with this one!" They should put a star next to all the girls that are single on the Maxim list.

Posted by Scottie | June 22, 2007 2:38 PM

Helen Mirren? Meryl Streep? Really? I love it when vapid Top 100 lists throw in a couple "grand dame" types to avoid looking shallow.

Posted by demolator | June 22, 2007 2:40 PM

butch chicks are hot.

Posted by Paulus | June 22, 2007 2:50 PM

I think Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep are both hot, I don't care about their age. To suggest they only made the list so the listmakers wouldn't appear shallow is both silly and insulting.

Posted by Kristi in Kitsap | June 22, 2007 3:53 PM

It may truly reflect the readership of afterhellen; older, more mature lesbians. i wonder about their demographics - age, race, income levels

Posted by Bellevue Ave | June 22, 2007 4:06 PM


What half of the list did you look at and what's your definition of white?

In the top ten: Jennifer Beals? She's not (100 percent) white, you know. Salma Hayek. Sarah Shahi. Jordana Brewster.

In the rest of the list: Halle Berry. Simone Lahbib. Michelle Rodriguez. America Ferrera. Jessica Alba. Queen Latifah. Lucy Liu. Rose Rollins. Sara Ramirez. Sandra Oh.

The Maxim (editorial) list of hot women does have almost double the number of women of color. However, the overwhelming amount of silicone on the list does much to negate that.

And to all those pointing out the scarcity of butch women on the AfterEllen list: how many women celebrities are butch? Not many and I'll hazard to guess that most of them don't fall in the cute category. In Hollywood, only unattractive women are allowed to engage in a little genderfucking.

Posted by keshmeshi | June 22, 2007 4:55 PM

I'm 37, and if my wife ran off with the pool boy, I would *totally* give it to either Helen Mirren or Meryl Streep. Did you see Dame Helen at the Oscars? I'd go looking for Emma Thompson first, thought.

Alas, none of the three of them would want to fuck me. That's why if my wife ran off with the pool boy, I'd join a gym.

ps- mad props to fnarf @ 18. I don't read Maxim, but all those photos in the article are *totally* jerkoff fodder.

Posted by Big Sven | June 23, 2007 12:01 PM

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