Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Josh Is Out Today... | The Missing Soldiers »

Monday, June 4, 2007

Interoffice Email of the Day

posted by on June 4 at 12:40 PM

From the hobbled fingers of Brendan Kiley:

Subject: Questions Answered

Where you been?
Sorry, I forgot to send a note before I left: I flew out last week to southern Virginia for the consecutive funerals of my granddad and great-aunt, who died on the same day. Highlights: Heat, humidity, lukewarm fried chicken at every meal, Baptist church services, and listening to my uncle and another preacher talk out their “game plan” for the exorcism they were going to perform later that night.
What’s with the crutches?
The night before I flew out, I was with my brother, horsing around, and jumped out my apartment window, trying to land on a (parked) school bus.
Were you drunk?
I am embarrassed by how not-drunk I was.
So what happened?
I jumped, landed on the bus, bounced off, and landed on my side in a gravel parking lot.
Are you injured?
On my right sideómy ankle and feet are purple and enormous but just sprained. My heel bone is shattered and will require a little surgery. I cracked a few ribs on my right side.
Oh my God. You’re an idiot.
I prefer “swashbuckler.”

Condolences, Brendan. I hope that buckled swash isn’t giving you too much pain.

RSS icon Comments


if you lived in the suburbs a bus couldn't get close enough to your house for you to try something so stupid.

therefore, cities are bad. QED.

Posted by maxsolomon | June 4, 2007 1:09 PM

I still want to know your motivation....

Posted by Nay | June 4, 2007 1:23 PM

Brendan, you're really taking this Hemingway meets Jackass thing to the next level: Urban hunting, confronting thugs on the street, now ill-advised acrobatics.

I loved your piece on Theodore Roethke; it revealed so much depth and intelligence.

Please keep yourself alive so that you can write more.

P.S. Who was the intended victim of the exorcism?

Posted by Original Andrew | June 4, 2007 2:16 PM

Ouch, I know how painful a calcaneal fracture can be. Get ready for some physical therapy, and be prepared when all of your coworkers start hitting you up for your oxycodone.

Posted by those hurt like a m*therf*cker | June 4, 2007 2:23 PM

Why is it that you almost never hear about girls jumping out windows onto a parked school bus? It's always guys.

If you'd tried it from a couple floors higher, you'd be up for a Darwin Award.

Posted by SDA in SEA | June 4, 2007 2:36 PM

Is this guy taken yet? He sounds fun.

Posted by Katelyn | June 4, 2007 4:37 PM

I was a little surprised by this until I remembered that BK was born in Alaska, then it all made sense.

Posted by lilblackcat | June 4, 2007 4:53 PM


Posted by Bill | June 12, 2007 12:57 PM


Posted by Bill | June 12, 2007 12:57 PM


Posted by Bill | June 12, 2007 12:57 PM

Comments Closed

In order to combat spam, we are no longer accepting comments on this post (or any post more than 14 days old).