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Friday, June 29, 2007

I, Anonymous: It’s Elementary—And the Hits Keep Coming…

posted by on June 29 at 12:00 PM

Welcome to hour four of the I, Anonymous: It’s Elementary day-long bonanza, wherein a new I, Anonymous submission sent in by students at a local alternative elementary and middle school is revealed every hour on the hour.

This is a shout-out to all of the idiots who hire other idiots to work for their trucking and bussing businesses, like the kind young man who hit my school bus last month. You probably know who you are. Oh, what’s that? You don’t remember? Well, let me refresh your memory. We were driving down Martin Luther King Jr. Way, you know, where they’re doing all the construction? We stopped at a red light like normal, law-abiding citizens, when all of the sudden, a large moving van whizzed around us and spun around the corner. As the maniac driver sped passed, he smashed the back of his truck right into our hood, and then kept right on driving. This is not the only time there has been a hit-and-run accident, and it certainly won’t be the last.

Truckers aren’t the only bad drivers, however. I have also seen many inappropriate Metro drivers as well. Last week, I was at the bus stop. The bus came and the other two people and I boarded. As we stepped on, an old lady ran across the street, yelling at the driver to hold the bus. This was a woman who was obviously in her 70s, maybe even her 80s. Ignoring her, the driver closed the door, but we were still stopped at a red light. The woman ran up to the door and knocked loudly. The driver hardly looked up. The light changed and he drove off. Thanks, bus driver, for that permanent picure of a disheveled old woman, helpless and small, standing alone at the bus stop.

Not only that, but I have seen professional drivers on cell phones, putting on makeup, and eating on the job. Personally, I think that stricter qualifications should be made in the personality area. I don’t know about you, but I sure as heck wouldn’t want to hire anyone who would hit a school bus full of kids and drive away.

A propensity to hit and run is my least favorite personality flaw, too. Thank you, anonymous kid.

RSS icon Comments

1

I also hate idiots who hire other idiots to work for their trucking and bussing businesses.

Posted by David Schmader | June 29, 2007 12:03 PM
2

Okay, I'm officially calling bullshit on this series.

"...like the kind young man who hit my school bus last month."

No way this was written by an elementary school kid. To a nine year old, everyone over the age of, say, fifteen is old. Never a "young man".

I don't know who's writing these, but they are looking less and less like elementary aged kids. I think I smell a rat.

Posted by SDA in SEA | June 29, 2007 12:29 PM
3

Again, let me remind you that the school from which these originated houses K-8. (Six years of elementary school, two years of middle school.)

Also, some of these seem to incorporate phrases designed to impress/appease a teacher, and some of them have clearly been re-written with a teacher's guidance. (i.e. "Final draft" written in the upper left corner.)

But believe what you must.

Posted by David Schmader | June 29, 2007 12:35 PM
4

a local alternative elementary and middle school

Two points:
1) Depending on what this particular school means by "middle school", these kids could be as old as 14 or 15.

2) Given that it's an alternative school, they could also be a bit smarter than your average bear.

Posted by Mike of Renton | June 29, 2007 12:36 PM
5

When did we establish that the kids were nine years old? I'm trying to find it in the previous posts... but I'm probably being blind.

David keeps saying it's a class of kids from an alternative elementary/middle school, maybe this class is mixed ages. I don't know.

What I do know is that when I was a sarcastic, egotistical little punk fifth grader, I called idiots "young men" all the time. Especially idiots who were older than I, but not "adult" yet... because you had to be at least 20-something to be an adult.

Posted by Phelix | June 29, 2007 12:39 PM
6

*grumbles* Okay, okay. Maybe they're legit.

Point. You are correct. Nobody specified that they were 9 year olds.

Point. They may be different ages. The first few letters were clearly written by younger kids. I assumed they were all in the same class, and assumed they were all the same age (thus demonstrating again what happens when I assume something). The last few letters definitely looked to be written by someone older. It never occurred to me that the kids would span a broad age range.

That and I could totally see a school bus driver driving off, leaving an 80 year old woman standing at the curb.

So I'll hold my judgement for now... but I'm watching you Schmader. *said with an evil eye*

Posted by SDA in SEA | June 29, 2007 1:11 PM
7

this person writes better than some stranger writers.

Posted by wf | June 29, 2007 1:28 PM
8

First of all Mr. Schmader, it's 6 years of elementary school students (K-5), and 3 years of middle school students (6-8).

Second, multiage classrooms are common in alternative schools (as well as some of the more enlightened `traditional' schools), and a cursory reading of the Salmon Bay website leads me to believe that middle school students there can take what in my high school would have been called 'electives'. Ergo, something like a 'creative writing' class could possibly have 6, 7 and 8th graders in it.

Third, writing help is sometimes done by the teachers, but usually done by classroom support staff. Sometimes parents, sometimes people hired by the school. Writing multiple drafts is required in every age in my child's alternative elementary school (even the kindergartener's make multiple 'drafts' of art projects), and Salmon Bay is touted as having a similar philosophy to our school, so I'm guessing the 'multiple drafts' requirement is as important at Salmon Bay.

Given what I've seen posted on the bulletin boards at my kid's elementary school, the quality of the writing here seems perfectly in line with what I would expect middle schoolers at Salmon Bay to write.

Posted by Greg Barnes | June 29, 2007 2:24 PM
9

I am laughing my ass off! I am that Metro driver. Just goes to show you that a child is actually writing:

#1 I was ten minutes late. The old lady didn't want that bus- she wanted A bus. However there were people whom had been in their bus zones on time waiting for THAT bus- they don't want me to wait for her; I have an obligation to them.
#2 She didn't just want on, she wanted me to lower the coach and put the ramp out. I had already pulled out into the second lane, her safety would be negotiated, regardless of the red light.
#3 WTF? Old people can't read schedules? Or young people either? It's not a taxi service. It's PUBLIC transportation- You wait on the bus- the bus doesn't wait on you- otherwise what good is a schedule? Remember that next time your bus is twenty minutes late in the cold and you KNOW that you will be late because of it. Oh wait you just get a tardy slip. It's not like you get fired or anything.
#4 Oh yeah- was this the dumb shit that ran in front of my bus at a 90 degree angle in my blind spot? That's right kiddies- it's not that easy to stop 20 tons of weight; it's called inertia. But since you have several years before taking physics in high school; you don't understand this: BUT IT"S MY JOB AND SANITY ON THE LINE.

Sadly your mentality isn't merely childish, but very common place. Try thinking that maybe you aren't the only person on the planet- and neither is that little old lady.

Posted by Driving #18 | June 30, 2007 3:58 AM
10

@9. I've been riding public transit for just about my entire life, and nothing annoys me more about it than snotty asshole bus nazis like you.

Firstly, why in the hell were you ten minutes late in the first place? Oh, wait. I don't care. Don't be late.

Secondly- public transporation may not be a bus service, but my public tax dollars that pay your wages- ALONG with my fare. Schedules are GREAT! So don't be late.

Thirdly- anyone riding public transporation (especially in this city) is usually smart enough to budget extra time in case the bus is late (which is a perpetual occurance, thanks to morons like you) so honestly, it probably wouldn't have done you a whole hell of a lot of damage to stop and try and make accomidations for an elderly passenger. Busses should be dependable according to schedule, but unfortunately, that is never going to happen. Regular riders of transit know this- anyone who can't plan around that drives to work.

And EVEN if you couldn't have allowed her on the bus, your attitude here clearly shows you think your job gives you some kind of majesterial transporation authority. It doesn't. The kid who wrote this is obviously going to go to college in a few years, and in a few years, I'd be willing to bet you'll still be driving a bus.

Here's my recommendation- shut the fuck up and stop making metro transit look bad.

Posted by stiletto | June 30, 2007 2:43 PM
11

ahem. Correction. *public transporation may not be a TAXI service.

Posted by stiletto | July 2, 2007 1:03 PM

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