Life I, Anonymous: It’s Elementary—The Bonanza Begins
posted by June 29 at 9:00 AM
onGood morning! Welcome to the commencement of the I, Anonymous: It’s Elementary day-long bonanza, wherein a new I, Anonymous submission sent in by students at a local alternative elementary and middle school is revealed every hour on the hour, starting now.
Dear guy that killed me on the internet,I hate you, you killed me and I lost all my good stuff thanks a lot. Come try to kill me again and I’ll rip your head off with my sword. Then we’ll see who’s laughting after that just because you had your team of 10 guys that’s the only reason you could kill me. You guys were all level 10 newbie’s that were teaming hard working people like me. I spent over 2 million gold pieces to get my guy all that good stuff until you just came over with your team and killed me. I’m calling you out to a rematch you and me and I will destroy you so you better be ready to get owned by my sword you doodoo head. So rawr it’s on so bring your newbie team and I’ll bring my best team and destroy all of you in 2 hits then I’ll splice your heads off. Then I’ll take your heads to a trophy shop then have them hung on the wall of my house so I can adore my killing of the biggest newbie’s on the planet.
Comments
Like I don't spend enough time on the Slog, now there's a mini-festival of genius going on all day today...
http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/Content?oid=12237
(Note: I'm a WoW player, both factions, on Lightbringer)
There is nothing more boring then watching/hearing about other people's MMORPG stories. For realz.
There is nothing more boring than listening to a group of friends talk about WOW.
Also, jonah@2: Wow, that was the most insightful and relevant comment ever.
No, wait, it was a link to something completely unrelated. *sigh*
Cracked my shit up.
Rawr its on!
this kid may as well be speaking martian to me. i love it. all hail the mighty generation gap.
Generation gap my ass. It's a gamer gap. You are obviously not a gamer.
Haha, that sounds like Runescape talk!
I'm kinda blown away that this is an elementary school project. I love the Stranger, but I felt irresponsible a couple of weeks ago when I got home from a date with my wife and the baby sitter had spread the tranny hooker ads out on the table under my 5 and 8 year olds' painting projects.
So with this project, there are 9 or whatever year olds perusing Stranger's pages and probably trolling the Slog to see if they've been printed, and probably checking out the pics from Pony, etc.?
Good judgment by the teacher?
dear granny harrop, i feel the same way about the commenters bandying about WOW and MMORPG (?????).
shall we go shawl shopping this weekend?
what's a "MMORPG"?
old man schmader: assuming we'll grab the early bird special afterward and, perhaps, a bourbon & milk before bed.
MMORPG = Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game
U R such a Nube
@12: MMORPG: Massive Multiplayer Online Role Play Game.
And yeah, I love that he was talkin' bout pwning n00bs. R0xx0r.
OHSNAP! ROFFELCOPTER LOL!
Oh my god. That's the best little kid letter EVER!
Make LOVE, not Warcraft!
PWND!!!!!1!!!
I understand his frustration. Nothing suxxors worse than getting pwnd by a pack of n00bz.
Here's my cool card back. I'm gonna go lvl.
"Then I’ll take your heads to a trophy shop then have them hung on the wall of my house so I can adore my killing of the biggest newbie’s on the planet."
Revenge is sweet.
Killing n00bs and bragging about it is a n00b thing to do. Period.
My favorite part was he called the n00b a "doodoo head". LOL!
:D
Seriously, kids. Learn to masturbate.
That made me feel old. And slightly disturbed. What happened to the good old days of you and your friends sitting around a table rolling a 12 sided die? Oh, nevermind, that was last Monday...
Many Men Online, Role-Playing Girls, for the more cynical among us.
@24
i still have no idea how we're going to get off the floating dragon citadel in the sky!
@26 I know my "cure light wounds" and "create water" spells sure as hell aren't going to help!
O RLY?
It's simple. Cast create water so many times that the planet becomes a water world, with the dragon citadel stationed at sea level.
It's a spell for like, drinking water. My DM says each time it's cast it only creates like a mug full...
plus, she only gets one spell a day since we're all still like, level two characters....
more mead?
Hmmm. What's your party consist of?
I sometimes play Call of Duty or Uno on Xbox Live,but I haven't tried a MMORPG yet. I'm afraid I would get addicted to it. City of Heroes sounds kind of cool though.
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