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Friday, June 29, 2007

I, Anonymous: It’s Elementary—Cryptic Omission Edition

posted by on June 29 at 14:00 PM

Welcome to hour six of the I, Anonymous: It’s Elementary day-long bonanza, wherein a new I, Anonymous submission sent in by students at a local alternative elementary and middle school is revealed every hour on the hour.

To all the jerks on the bus,

All the drunk and high people on the bus you know who you are. You are always mean and immature jerks to every one on the bus except your self. And also if you are going to ride on the bus then put on some axe or perfume so you don’t stink like dead rats.

Next, you are rude to some people because you make fun of how they look or how they dress or how they talk. Also your swearing bothers people because if you are going to go on and on about your problems say them in your head. And when you get mad you start throwing things and that hurts people.

Last, the next time you sit next to me, people are going to laugh and point and make fun of you because you are going to let out a lot of gas. your going to be sitting on a huge wo

It ends there. I can only assume he was about to say “woopie cushion.” BUT WE’LL NEVER KNOW.

RSS icon Comments

1

"put on some axe" haha

Posted by joshua | June 29, 2007 2:01 PM
2

"put on some axe or perfume so you don’t stink like dead rats."

YES! These kids write better than me. It makes me sad, but happy all at once. You know, as Charles would say, like a dog biting a rock.

Posted by Sam | June 29, 2007 2:20 PM
3

and this is our future? yikes.

Posted by jameyb | June 29, 2007 3:20 PM
4

...rld of pain, motherfuckah".

Posted by Fnarf | June 29, 2007 5:59 PM
5

Woah dude. And I thought Albuquerque was bad. Axe? WTF? Dead rats? Priceless!

Posted by catnextdoor in abq | July 2, 2007 12:09 AM

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