Life I, Anonymous: It’s Elementary
posted by June 27 at 10:06 AMon
For years, citizens have funneled their angst, rage, and other ugly feelings through I, Anonymous, the Stranger column devoted entirely to unsigned rants.
Recently I received a slew of I, Anonymiis from an unlikely source: an alternative elementary/middle school in Ballard, where it appears an entire class was assigned to write their own I, Anons, all of which arrived in a single envelope. I’ll be sharing these with readers via the Slog over the next week or so, starting now.
You are so annoying sometimes. You are a wimp. If I accidentally hurt you, you start screaming at me. Then I will get in a lot of trouble for an accident. If you hurt me on purpose you never get in trouble. You can’t take what you give people. If you are really annoying me and keep poking me, and I start poking you, you get very, very mad at me.
You also steal my stuff and don’t admit it. Once I had a pack of gum and you chewed all of it. I asked you if you chewed it and you said you didn’t. I asked you again and you got really mad at me. Sometimes you also steal my clothes. I will trying to find a shirt and I’ll look in your room. Then I find it and I ask you why you took it. You will say you didn’t and that our dad must have put it in your room.
You also get mad at me when I won’t do something for you. If I am on the computer and you feel like going on it, you tell me to get off. Since you are my little sister, I don’t feel like I have to, so I tell you I’m not getting off. Then you get really mad at me and start screaming at me.
You are a very annoying little sister and sometimes I get really mad at you.